Baptize Me

Most of us spend our entire lives trying to wash ourselves clean from sin. This is impossible. In fact, God says that our good works are like filthy, dirty rags (Isaiah 64:6).

This doesn’t mean that we should downplay our good works. In fact, we should shout out about our good works because they demonstrate how wonderful God has made us to be able to do these good works (Matthew 5:16). This is the opposite of pride.

However, when we try to use our good works to keep God and others off our back for the bad things we’ve done, then this is like trying to clean ourselves with rags that are filthy, dirty, and putrid. We wash our filthy skin with the dirty rags of arrogance.

The only way we can get clean is through someone else with clean water who can do the job. Essentially, it is God’s pleasure to wash us clean from our sin through taking it on Himself at the cross. It is like He has washed us with the most fresh and clean water we could ever think of. We become cleaner than clean. Maybe even cleaner than that.

Water baptism is a simple yet profound metaphor showing us what is taking place. When we are baptized, we announce to God and those around us that it is God who is washing us clean. It is His action, not our own.

Let’s remember that He must baptize us and that we cannot baptize ourselves.

The Power of Small Groups

Hanging out in small groups of people who are spiritually healthy is one of the primary ways we grow as human beings. Growing outside of a small group is almost impossible.

Getting into a group that is filled with grace is step one. After that, the mechanics or logistics aren’t entirely that important, so long as the following are in place: The group shares openly and feels a sense of safety. The group practices the biblical aspects of peacemaking with each other (Matthew 18). The group endorses the personhood of each individual and their decision making. The group has some sort of purpose or direction (what it is isn’t always entirely important).

The main thing is to get into a healthy, grace-filled group. 1 Peter 4 says that when we talk to each other, our words have the potential to be the very life giving words of God to each other. It is like we are connecting with God Himself. This is the power of a small group of healthy Christ followers.* The opposite is isolation, which is the beginning of hell.** Are you in a small group where you feel safe to share and empowered to grow? If not, then personal growth is almost impossible.

*Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend
**This idea comes from C.S. Lewis, Tim Keller, and my own experience. Isolation can also raise its ugly head in the middle of an unhealthy small group. Everyone can be meeting together, but totally isolated from one another. This is also the beginning of hell. Lewis shows both types of isolation in "The Great Divorce".

Addressing Legalism (Part VII): Miracles, Jealousy, and the Desire for Control

Jesus and His students were hanging out. They said, “Jesus, we tried to stop this guy from driving out demons in your name because he isn’t one of us.” To Jesus, this was ridiculous. “Don’t stop him. Whoever’s not against us is for us” (Mark 9).

Jesus’ students found it less important that this guy was healing people from their demons than the fact that he wasn’t part of their group. That bothered them. They tried to stop him. Can you believe it? They tried to stop someone from healing people! This is the insanity of legalism. Grace says, “Oh, it is so good that this man has healed people from their demons!” The unwritten rules of legalism says, “Why aren’t you with us? What’s wrong with us?”

The root of the problem with Jesus’ students was jealousy and a need to control. I can identify. When I see others doing wonderful ministry who aren’t a part of my group, I sometimes feel this sense of jealousy within my own heart. I have no control over them and this sometimes bothers me. They could be doing great ministry and maybe even better ministry than I am. Moreover, the fact that they’re doing better ministry might be the very thing that’s bothering me.

The only thing that eventually saved Jesus’ students from legalism was their faith in following the perfect non-legalist, who was Jesus. They’d gotten it all wrong. Jesus’ students had a similar mindset as the Teachers of the Law. They were tring to stop this guy from casting out demons (Mark 9) just like the Teachers of the Law had previously tried to stop Jesus from healing people on the Sabbath (Mark 3). The primary difference between the Teachers of the Law and Jesus’ students was that His students followed Him (the grace giver) while the Teachers of the Law rejected Him. His students trusted Him even though they didn’t understand Him.

Eventually, many of Jesus’ students rejected most of their legalism. But, even years later, Paul had to confront Peter for treating Greek followers of Jesus differently from his Jewish brothers who followed Jesus. It was a lengthy process for all of them and still is for us today. We simply need to keep following Jesus, without much worry for what others are doing or saying. If they aren’t against us, then they’re for us. Any other agenda, and we might condemn someone who is healing people from their demons.

Addressing Legalism (Part VI): Jesus Intentionally Killed Legalism

Jesus intentionally killed legalism. He touched unclean people. He hung out with tax collectors and sinners. He talked to women and even let them touch Him. He worked on the Sabbath. He fought for justice and compassion over position and religious power. He directly and openly challenged the pride of the Pharisees. They killed Him.

He knew this would happen. The scripture says that it was because of the joy set before Him that he endured the cross. He bore our real sin and made us clean. Had He never intended to do so, He never would have been born. He never would have healed so many, poured His life into 12 close friends, nor would He have fought so hard for our freedom. The legalists may have inadvertently killed Legalism, but Jesus did it intentionally.

Addressing Legalism (Part V): The Legalists Inadvertently Killed Legalism

Jesus was His own person. The Teachers of the Law hated it. They couldn’t stand for a construction worker from Galilee to speak with such confidence about God’s ways. What they really hated was that He never asked them for permission to do so. He simply did it. In the end, they hated Him so much that they killed Him.

Funny thing is that by killing Jesus, they killed their own cause. Following His death and resurrection, Jesus’ followers proclaimed that Jesus had rescued them from their own sin, that He loved them, and that this is why He died for them. Therefore, in following Jesus they didn’t have to try to live up to the crazy standards that the Teachers of the the Law tried to weigh them down with. They were free. Legalism was dead. In killing Jesus, the legalists inadvertently killed legalism.

Addressing Legalism (Part IV): My Own Demonizing

When I see someone do a good thing, my first thought (unfortunately) is to evaluate the source. Who are they? Where do they come from? What is their belief system?

If the person is my political opposite, then a flavor of resentment tries to stir up in my soul. I have this small, twisted belief that if someone, who opposes me in a particular worldview, could do something noble, courageous, compassionate, or graceful then maybe my worldview might be wrong. Many of us have felt this twisted flavor of resentment to one degree or another. The more obsessive the person, the stronger the resentment. Rush Limbough or Hillary Clinton could save millions of children from starvation, but the other side of the camp would feel uneasy about it. They’re tax collectors, sinners, prostitutes, Samaritans, or Gentiles. They can’t possibly do something good in God’s eyes.

As followers of Christ, we should never worry about this.   Although our default is to reject God, we are also very capable of doing noble and compassionate things. The human person is sacred. Even those who blow God off are capable of such great deeds because they are made in the image of God (Keller). When someone who is politically, religiously, or socially opposite from us does something wonderful, we should commend it as wonderful. It is in God’s eyes.

Addressing Legalism (Part III): Turning Healing into a Bad Thing

The Pharisees didn’t like Jesus because He healed someone’s hand on the Sabbath* (Mark 3).

My Western ears think this is ludicrous. The reasoning goes like this: Healing someone of a sickness is a good thing to do in most circumstances. Jesus healed people. Therefore, Jesus did a good thing. A further argument might go like this: Anyone who does a good thing shouldn’t be condemned unless it hurts another person or persons without any warrant for doing so. Jesus did a good thing and didn’t hurt anyone without warrant. Therefore, He shouldn’t be condemned by anyone. Emotionally, most Western minds think how in the world could I be upset with someone who instantly healed a man’s hand? We might further think anyone who heals a person simply with his words is probably a good person.

Their Eastern ears understood the problem. This has to do with world views. The Middle Eastern mindset is used to dealing more with the supernatural. Supernatural events, such as a physical healing, don’t necessarily translate into thinking he is probably a good person, because he healed that guy’s hand. Bad people can work supernatural miracles as well from a Middle Eastern mindset.

The Pharisees thought Jesus was a bad person for the following reasons.  They saw Jesus healing people all over the place. In fact, what they saw was a tired man. The biblical accounts seem to suggest that there were times when Jesus had to get away from it all. Crowds almost suffocated him, at times. He would get into a boat and cross the lake. The crowds would run around to the other side to catch up with Him. Our Western minds might think why would healing people with His words, cause Jesus to be tired? Jesus was tired however, because of the long days he spent with people constantly beckoning His time and resources. I’m sure He was a tired man.

The Pharisees saw Jesus working on the Sabbath and probably saw He was tired. In their worldview, anyone who exerts oneself on the Sabbath isn’t a good person because he is violating the Law of God through working on the holy Sabbath day of rest. Because they believed that both good and bad people could work supernatural miracles, their logical conclusion was that Jesus was sinning against God (even though it was an amazing miracle) and should be stopped. Their line of thinking was: If someone works on the Sabbath, then they should be condemned because they are violating the Law of God. Jesus was working on the Sabbath. They thought He should be condemned. Elsewhere, the biblical account is more specific and it says that they thought he was doing these supernatural things under the authority of the Prince of Demons.

Legalists (such as the Pharisees, extreme right-wing Republicans, extreme left-wing Democrats, and arrogant people in general) are prone to demonizing those who do good works. It is the only way they can make a good work into an evil thing. They challenge the source.

Jesus’ response: “The Sabbath was made for people, not people for the Sabbath. So, [I, Jesus am] Lord even of the Sabbath” (Mark 2). He put the focus back on God's glory and His love for His people through the gift of the Sabbath. This opposes a focus on maintaining the Law through keeping the Sabbath at all costs, even healing someone.

*[The Sabbath is the gift of a holy day of rest each week that God has given human beings for their benefit and His glory.]

Addressing Legalism (Part II)

Many people try to forge new paths in their lives, but when they do people ask them, “Why do you have to forge a new path? What’s wrong with the status quo?” Legalism says you can’t forge your own, new path. You have to follow our rules, it says. Grace says otherwise.

A long time ago, some people asked Jesus a question. They said, “John’s students and the Pharisees fast. Why don’t your students do the same?” Jesus gave them an answer, but quickly moved on to the real point. He said, “If you pour new wine into old wineskins, then those old wineskins will break. It doesn’t work. New wine has to be poured into new wineskins. They won’t break.” Sometimes, people have to break out and create their own new practices (new wine in new wineskins), contrary to the status quo, even if there isn’t anything wrong with the status quo (for example, John’s students still did fast, like the Pharisees). However, Jesus told his students they didn’t have to fast. Jesus was saying that he has given us permission to pour new wine into new wineskins. (We don't have to adopt the practices of others, even if they question us.)

Here are some examples:

In 1946, Mother Teresa received what she called “the call within the call.” She had a heart for the destitute in India. She left her convent and lived among the poor out of her own sense of autonomy and began her hospice work in 1948. In 1950, she went to the Vatican and received permission to start a new Catholic order. Today the order has 4,000 nuns who work in orphanages, hospices, and other care centers around the world.

Mother Teresa poured new wine into new wineskins. Was there anything wrong with the status quo? Not necessarily. But, Mother Teresa had to become her own person, the one God had created her to be. Do you see that she started first and asked the Pope for permission later?

Tim Keller (a pastor from Manhattan) describes a perfect example of pouring new wine into new wineskins through the marriage relationship. When two people marry, they bring each other’s upbringing with them. Keller describes how he and his wife ran into a problem about changing diapers. In Keller’s childhood, his dad didn’t change the diapers. I think his dad did other things (maybe washing dishes for instance) that his mom didn’t do. So, their idea of sharing was to divide up responsibilities rather than to share each of them. In his wife’s childhood, contrary to Keller’s parents, I believe they tended to share all responsibilities rather than dividing them up. This means they both washed dishes and changed diapers.

One day, Keller’s wife asked him to change the baby’s diaper. Keller said he didn’t plan on changing diapers at all and they got into an argument. In a situation like this one, many of us get into a “right vs. wrong” mentality. This is defective thinking. The reality is that Keller and his wife had to pour new wine into new wineskins. They had to exercise new practices in their new household. They had to be their own married couple, instead of thinking that marriage is reduced simply to what their parents used to do. They had to come up with their own unique set of practices in washing dishes and changing diapers. They had to become their own persons.

In the 70s and 80s, many people left their historic Methodist, Presbyterian, and Baptist churches. They set sail towards new horizons and founded grassroots churches which later became their own denominations. Vineyard and Calvary are notable examples.

I’m sure many people in the historic denominations asked them, “Why do you have to leave? What’s wrong with the status quo? Why do you have to do things differently?” In some cases, they needed to leave because the historic denomination was not theologically grounded, but in other situations, they needed to become their own persons and exercise themselves as their own newly formed congregations. In a sense, they were corporately becoming adults and taking responsibility for the consequences that came with doing so.

Are there things in your life that you want to say yes to or no to, but you’re afraid? You want to tell your boss that you won’t take the extra work. You want to play golf instead of serving food at the soup kitchen this week. You want to try out that new house church. You want to leave a dysfunctional relationship. You want to try out that big dream. You want to leave something lucrative and become a school teacher. You want to start a new ministry. A million voices call your name from every direction. Voices from the past. Opinions of others. False responsibilities that aren’t really yours. This is defective thinking. I’m not saying to be careless.** Weigh in the options of advice from others. The status quo is often a good choice, just make sure it's your choice and not because you're feeling pressured to do so. If you want to, start a new charity in India, create your own new marriage practices, or start a new church structure like Vineyard or Calvary. Jesus has given you permission to pour new wine into new wineskins, if that is the course you would like to take.


[**Some people aren’t psychologically healthy and need a time of healing before they make major decisions. It might be that joining a support group or meeting with a counselor might actually be the big decision they have to make. Their dysfunctional friends might ask them why they even need to take such drastic measures. Why change the status quo? In the end however, a good support group or counselor is only helping them to become more and more autonomous. Through their support the individual will feel empowered to pour new wine into new wineskins when it is the right time. ]

The Silver Lining in the Sermon on the Mount

The Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7) used to bother me because there's no way I can ever live the way Jesus tells us to live. Now, when I read Jesus' Sermon on the Mount, I choose to be happy because these are the things He's willingly saved me from.

Priorities (Part II)

I don't want to cleanse people from their sin. I want to spend time with them as God cleanses them.

Priorities

I don't want to be cleansed from my sin.  I want to spend time with God while he cleanses me.  

Pig-Pen and Cleanliness

Charles Schulz introduced Pig-Pen as a Peanuts cartoon strip character in 1954. Pig-Pen was the dirtiest kid on the block. A cloud of dust followed him everywhere. A Gallop poll in the year 2000 determined Pig-Pen to be the America’s most lovable Peanuts character. The country loved Him despite his uncleanliness.

Switching gears, let’s talk about the Middle Eastern concept of cleanliness. In Middle Eastern culture, the need to get clean before going to God in prayer is very necessary. Jewish and Muslim traditions require that people abstain from eating pork, abstain from drinking alcohol (for Muslims), dress in certain ways and cut their hair in certain ways (certain Jewish traditions), and they must wash themselves ceremonially before they can enter their center of worship (Muslims). A woman who is in her period cannot enter the Mosque because she is unclean.

The Western, Christian believer is in a similar situation. There are certain cleanliness rules they adhere to as well. Certain extreme traditions (Catholics and certain types of Protestants) require members of the congregation to confess their sins before a priest or pastor before they can take communion. Just like the Muslim and Jewish tradition, this is how many feel they become clean before entering God’s presence. Among evangelicals, lust is the big uncleanliness “no-no”. Millions of teenagers and college students go to youth groups every week and feel ashamed for their sin. They feel like they can’t enter God’s presence if they mentally lusted, made out with a guy or girl the night before, or even had sex. Their youth leaders reinforce their shame by harping on the need to “be pure” and “honor God”. The reality is that most of these youth pastors struggle with the same things themselves and are two-faced. This is outright legalism.

Jesus tells us in John 15:3 that we are already clean because of the word He has spoken to us. I need to check the Greek, but in English the word “already” tells us the action has already taken place. “It is finished.” He tells us in John 20:30. He has already atoned for us. We are already clean. We don’t have to keep trying to wash ourselves clean through our rituals and ceremonies, whether Middle Eastern or Western.

America has more grace for Pig-Pen than it has for human beings. They love him. They think he is lovable. The reality is we all wish we could be like Pig-Pen. We wish we could expose ourselves and that others would accept us. Praise the Lord, there are some groups of people like this where people are growing spiritually through grace. You can find those groups of people, if you try.

With God, we can be like Pig-Pen. We can walk right into His presence with all of our evil deeds exposed. He says to us, “Pig-Pen I’m glad you’re here. You don’t need to be ashamed. The very fact that you are here and that I’m talking with you is what has made you clean. When you came to see Me up on the cross, you saw that I was weak, grief stricken, unclean, and even forsaken by My Father for the sin I bore. It was your sin Pig-Pen. I bore all of it for you and you shouldn’t feel ashamed because I wanted to do this for you. I wanted to make you clean and you are clean because you are here and I have told you so. You don't have to make up for what I've done for you. On the outside, you look dirty (and you are--that’s why they call you Pig-Pen:) but on the inside, where I live inside you, you are the cleanest little guy around. And, that little mustard seed of faith you have will grow and blossom. When you aren’t looking, that is when you might notice that some of the outside has gotten a little cleaner as well. But, don’t worry so much about this.”

Jesus says, “The last shall be first.” In the year 2000, America followed suit and voted Pig-Pen, the least presentable one, their favorite Peanuts cartoon character. In God’s eyes you’re His favorite cartoon character. Walk into His presence. His words of grace makes you clean.

High School and Spiritual Growth (Part Two)

During the first three years of my high school chess career, the wins were sporadic. Great wins. Horrible losses. I was beating myself up because I couldn’t figure out how to get better.

Senior year rolled around and it was my turn to play on what was called “The First Board”. This position called me to play against the other top players from each team around the state. Keeping in mind my sporadic wins, I decided to do a few things: play each game conservatively with a simple plan, and wait for the other player to make a mistake.

I gained a few wins and became more confident. I won the state qualifier and took third at the state high school chess championship. Years later, I realize why I became a more consistent chess player my senior year. Realistically, I hadn’t studied any more books than before, nor had I received any private chess lessons or grown a second brain for a faster processing speed.

The answer is I established a boundary. I told myself there could be no more complicated chess positions, sacrificing of pieces for a possible win, or using openings I didn’t understand. Keep it simple stupid. Play conservatively and wait for the opponent to make a mistake. The result was consistent wins during my senior year.

The spiritual point. Our culture, especially the religious culture, wants us to believe that we should be able to handle each and every situation without a loss. If we can’t, then we better figure out how to increase our abilities and get a win. This is the definition of “spiritual growth” that I’d become accustomed to. The reality is that we all have our limitations and that on many occasions, we simply have to recognize we aren’t good at everything.

Example: "I keep getting in shouting matches with so-in-so at work over our “discussions” about ethics. I go home completely frustrated and feeling guilty. Answer: Don’t hang out in your co-worker's office all the time because you don’t seem able to stay out of your 'discussions'."

Another Example: "I should be able to have lunches out with women at work, even though it’s resulted in a couple of affairs. What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I keep away from doing that? Answer: Don’t eat lunch with them and get some help from a counselor or support group."

A husband-wife example: "I feel guilty and resentful towards my wife because I can never seem to fix our electrical or plumbing problems around the house. I’ve taken the Home Depot classes and everything." Answer: Get an electrician or plumber and save the marriage some anxiety.

These are just a few examples. Let’s remember that in spiritual growth, just like in chess or any other sort of competition for that matter, that sometimes our abilities remain the same. Our true growth lies in how we use the abilities we possess, and setting up boundaries against the things we aren’t good at.

High School Chess and Spiritual Growth (Part One)

My dad taught me chess at a young age. I beat many casual players because I knew the moves and a few strategies. Control the center. Develop the pieces early. Utilize open files and attack isolated pawns. These strategies conquered most opponents.

Later, I began competing in chess tournaments. I played on the high school chess team. It was a great time with my friends Ken, Henry, Vic, Jen, and of course my teacher, Mr. Tallent. It was a fun time.

The first three years were fraught with miserable losses. I’d gain a good position, make a horrible mistake, and then loose the game. I read books about chess, studied the games of others, and practiced every day after school. Still, I kept coming up short.

I’d beat myself up mentally for the sporadic play. What was the problem? Why could I beat the most difficult opponents to find myself the next day, loosing a game with the most mediocre chap? Why couldn’t I figure it out, or get my act together?

The truth is that nothing was wrong. I had entered a level of competition unprecedented in my life. My opponents studied their chess books and played their practice games too. They were good and just as capable of winning as me.

This scenario paints a spiritual picture. Once we decide we really want to turn our lives around and gain spiritual health, it’s like we’ve entered a whole new level of competition. Now we’re competing and playing a spiritual game that’s sporadic. Great wins. Horrible losses. Our temptation is to resign playing at this level of competition, but we must never do so because there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 12). We’re gonna lose and it’s okay. We keep playing, and let’s do so because we remember that God thinks we’re more important than our performance.

Addressing Legalism (Part I)

Read the Gospels. See Jesus dismantle legalism. In fact, read the entire Bible. See God dismantle legalism. Legalism is the rules of men and women that take priority over the love and acceptance of God. It disguises itself so that you would think it was discipline or the orderly nature of human affairs. This is a facade. Legalism is always the traditions of men and women that bind other men and women in chains for the purposes of power and control. It wants us to remain passive so that it can move us rather than us taking control of our God-given lives. It’s a string of relationships that can be traced throughout history dating all the way back to the conversation between Eve and the Serpent.

Even before Jesus was born, God ushers Mary and Joseph into addressing their own personal and cultural legalism. Mary had become pregnant through the Holy Spirit. God simply decided Mary would become pregnant with Jesus and it happened. The Matthew account states that Joseph tried to save Mary from public disgrace. He intended to sever their engagement. He probably thought about the consequences of their marriage. A person might ask Mary who the father was and about whether or not Jesus was conceived before their wedding. This presented a problem. If she says Joseph is the father to avoid shame, then this is a lie. If she says that God is Jesus’ father, then people would either think she was crazy or that she was trying to cover up for an adulterous affair. Either answer shames Mary in the eyes of other people.

The concept of shame in Middle Eastern culture is enormous and our Western mindset doesn’t fully understand it. Joseph had decided to quietly sever their engagement because of this potential shaming. It was a somewhat loving thing for him to do, but in an unhealthy way. He was letting legalism direct his actions. God, however, knew what was best for them and would have nothing of Joseph’s falling sway to its influence. God came to Joseph in a dream and told him to maintain the relationship. He is born from the Holy Spirit, God tells Joseph. He will save everyone from their sins and His name is to be Jesus (Matthew 1).

The heaviest potential burden is for Mary. She will probably endure more shame than Joseph. On the other hand, it isn’t an easy situation for Joseph either. In the end, Joseph decided to follow God’s direction. Mary concurs and follows Joseph. My gut feeling is that Mary was thankful for Joseph’s leading, even though they would be swimming against legalistic pressures. From Mary’s perspective, Joseph was supporting the divine nature of her pregnancy and remained her companion. She saw that he loved her. The culture of legalism had tried to encourage Joseph to be passive so it could move him. God moved Joseph towards action so that he could lead him and his wife in their own direction. Let’s remember that God leads us, just like Joseph and Mary, to prioritize love and acceptance over the avoidance of shame and humility in our own lives.

Short Cutting

I was standing in line this morning for coffee when someone short-cut me. Anger flushed my body, mind, and spirit. In about five seconds, I concluded three things. First, I granted the person might have been unaware I was in-line because I stood back slightly. Second, I knew I should inform her of her short-cutting, so that if she had done it on purpose, I would be expressing her inappropriate behavior. Conversely, if it was an accident, she'd have the opportunity to be courteous and offer my spot back in line. Third, I was afraid and didn’t want to address the situation.

I felt ashamed, because I couldn’t say the following simple words, “Excuse me, were you aware that you cut in front of me?” I couldn’t get it out. I was afraid of her reaction, which wasn’t even my responsibility. I remained silent and hoped the line would move quickly so I could leave. Instead, events unfolded slowly. She turned slightly to see me, and I did one of the most unbelievable things I’ve ever done. I “glared” at her. Can you believe it? I glared at her. I don’t know if I’ve ever done such a thing. I let her see me as I pouted at her. Bitterness welled up inside.

Then another surprising event. After a few moments, she turned back around and said, “I’m sorry. Did I cut in front of you?” She offered my place in-line back to me. The bitterness ran away. I expressed my appreciation for her courtesy. I was amazed.

This story is an example of self-imposed insanity. Cloud and Townsend explain in the book “Boundaries” that part of developing healthy boundaries in our lives is by exposing our boundaries to others. We need to let others know what we will and will not tolerate.

My situation this morning was an isolated incident. Unfortunately, many of us have harbored resentments and bitterness for years or even decades at a time with family members, fellow church members, co-workers, and authority figures. We remain silent, begging for them to see our misery and repent. We secretly pray for them to appologize for hurting us by crossing our boundaries. 99% of the time, they never do, because we have failed to show them where those boundaries lie in the first place.* This is our responsibility.

The more confident we become with showing our boundaries, the more we will assert ourselves with strangers, co-workers, fellow church members, and loved ones. We will address those who cut us off in line and our hearts will become more healthy because of it.

*Many of us go our entire lives without even understanding that we allow others to violate our boundaries or that we violate the boundaries of those around us. Our responsibility is to get help from a friend or counselor in those situations. The book called "Boundaries" by Cloud and Townsend is an excellent start.

Children and the Divine

When we talk to other parents about our kids and how awesome they are, we might as well be sharing with them about God. Or, suppose I take a new position at work and get a new, great supervisor. The same thing applies. Any time we talk about how awesome our kids, friends, co-workers, parents, supervisors, mentors, or business partners are, we might as well be sharing with them about God.

This is because all good things come from God. The scripture says, “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” Of course, the temptation is to tell other parents how awesome our children are because we want to look good in front of them. We compare ourselves to them. This is a form of pride, jealousy, and fear that leads to all sorts of psychological problems, even if they only seem like small ones to us.

When we realize our children, friends, co-workers, and mentors aren’t to be held as our own commodities, then we can tell the whole world about them without inhibition. We are liberal and free in our speech, smiling and talking highly of them. They are God’s craftsmanship, and they’re using all of the talent, ability, and heart that God has given them for our pleasure and those around us. When we share how awesome our kids are to others, in a way, we’re really sharing with them about how awesome is God.

Spending Time with Human Beings (Part I)

When I spend time with you, what is my goal? Do I simply wish to spend time with you, or do I have some sort of ulterior motive? Here are some reasons we spend time with each other that are suspect:

I want to fix you. I want to be fixed. I want you to make decisions for me. I want to make your decisions. I want to control you. I want to be controlled. I want to fulfill some sort of deep emotional need and I’m trying to suck it out of you. I need you to validate my status or position. I don’t want to let you down. I don’t want you to dislike me.

Other reasons are suspect, but these are a few of the big ones. Relationships based on these reasons above tend to be unhealthy and dysfunctional.

Lesson from a Shepherd

A friend of mine grew up as a shepherd until the age of 15 in East Africa. We were sharing stories with each other and he related a short parable to me that he learned from his mom: "Ten men who have 100 cows and all that milk--without love, they'll never be happy. Ten men who have only one cow and almost no milk for themselves--with love, they'll be happy." These life lessons seem to be all around the globe. Simple, yet profound.

The End of a Brave New World

In the end of A Brave New World by Huxley, the "Controller" of all Western Europe tells Bernard Marx, Mr. Watson, and the Savage about why comfort and happiness were more important than truth and beauty:

"It's curious...to read what people in the time of Our Ford [yes, the carmaker--Henry Ford--early 1900s] used to write about scientific progress. They seemed to have imagined that it could be allowed to go on indefinitely, redardless of everything else. Knowledge was the highest good, truth the supreme value; all the rest was secondary and subordinate. True, ideas were beginning to change even then. Our Ford himself did a great deal to shift the emphasis from truth and beauty to comfort and happiness. Universal happiness keeps the wheels steadily turning; truth and beauty can't. And, of course, whenever the masses seized political power, then it was happiness rather than truth and beauty that mattered. Still, in spite of everything, unrestricted scientific research was still permitted. People still went on talking about truth and beauty as though they were the sovereign goods. Right up to the time of the Nine Years' War. That made them change their tune all right. What's the point of truth or beauty or knowlede when the anthrax bombs are popping all around you? That was when science first began to be controlled--after the Nine Years' War. People were ready to have even their appetites controlled then. Anything for a quiet life. We've gone on controlling ever since. It hasn't been very good for truth, of course. But it's been very good for happiness. One can't have something for nothing. Happiness has got to be paid for."

We are facing an economic fallout and we don't know where it will take us. Great Depression, worse, or possibly nothing of the sort. We just don't know where all this will go. What people fear the most, including myself often, is the loss of comfort. This is the time for us to make decisions. Is it our relationships with God and others that is most important? Or, is it our comfort and ease of life? In the end, I can have a spiritual conversation with someone over a glass of water just as well as I can have the same conversation over a frappachino and a cherry danish at Starbucks. When all I have is water to drink, I'm sure I'll get tired of it. But, in the end, we can still spend time together, whether we eat steak at Applebee's or Raman Noodles at home, as a family.

The Controller of Western Europe never understood this, nor did his society. Jesus, however, did understand this, and gave us the deep spiritual truths of this world, in the midst of the poorest place you could ever think of--worse than the Great Depression ever was. It's all relative. Therefore, let's all pray that if severe economic hardship comes, we will make our adjustments and heartily rejoice in the great truths of the Gospel. It is the Truth that will set us free.

Respect and Male Motivation

Men, I have to quote a portion of Love and Respect by Eggerichs. Picture a God who is like this:

"A good illustration of how respect can motivate a man is found in our armed forces--the millitary... Envision a U.S. Marine general speaking to his men after observing them in training maneuvers that did not go too well. 'Men, I believe in you more than you believe in yourselves. Get your heads up. Look at me. I admire you more than you admire yourselves. Your performance stunk today, but I see more potential in this fighting unit than any in the world. Where you will be in six months will result in the world hearing of this fighting unit, and I'm taking you there.' When a general respects his men and believes in them more than they believe in themselves, these soldiers want to improve, they want to get better, they want to fulfill that potential this general sees in them. Such men want to serve."

God sees more in you than you see in yourself. Let's believe this and let's see more in the men around us than they see in themselves.

Spreading Love

Spread love everywhere you go; first of all in your own house. Give love to your children, to your wife or husband, to a next door neighbor... Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile, kindness in your warm greeting. ~Mother Teresa

Satellites and Theological Truths

Satellite Television requires great precision in directing the Satellite Dish to point exactly at the correct satellite in Space. If the satellite dish is even a couple tenths of a degree off, it can miss satellite reception by several hundred miles. Such a small error results in a completely dysfunctional Satellite TV.

The spiritual life is similar. A small misunderstanding of a theological truth can result in severe spiritual dysfunction for a believer. Less than a full understanding of God's unconditional love can result in poor self-esteem and a dismal picture of God's gentle nature. Less than a full understanding of my sinfulness can result in writing off my need for a doctor and a dismal picture of His justice. A less than full understanding for God's artistic pleasure can result in taking nature and/or human creativity for granted.

In all of these situations, a small misunderstanding of one of God's theological truths can mean big dysfunctions in our spiritual lives.  Ask God for a greater understanding of His theological truths and the picture on your Satellite TV will become more clear over time.  His help to you comes with warmth and a big smile.

Getting Fixed vs. Fixing Myself

One of the biggest decisions we always face in the Kingdom of God is whether or not we will try to fix ourselves or let God do the fixing for us. Ever since the fall of Adam and Eve, we human beings have tried to find a way to fix ourselves. Jesus said however, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners." Therefore, trying to fix ourselves is contrary to the way things work in the Kingdom of God. He has a better way.

Suppose I find myself sick with cancer. For the most part, I can’t do anything about it. The only decisions I can make is whether or not to go to a doctor who can heal me. She diagnoses me. She prescribes a treatment plan. She tells me all the possibilities and what the treatment will mean for my life.

Let’s suppose this cancer is not just treatable, but curable. The only way for me to be healed is to subscribe to her diagnosis, prognosis, and treatment. Imagine I start discussing the treatment plan with her and trying to come up with other possibilities. I tell her that I think I can manage this thing on my own. Maybe heavy pain killers will work over chemo therapy and my body will somehow fight off the cancer.

This kind of reasoning is a recipe for disaster. I would certainly die. Most patients in this kind of situation simply tell the doctor to prescribe the treatment. Most of us would follow through with the chemo therapy and endure the side effects because we know the doctor would be saving our life.

The Kingdom of God is similar. When we enter the Kingdom, we enter a community of other believers who have the ability to heal us. Yes, it is God who does the healing, but He generally passes his knowledge and experience through other brothers and sisters.

Therefore, we seek out another person who can help us in our greatest areas of need. Most likely this person or persons should be one who has gone through the process of healing themselves. This is a spiritual mentor of some sort. Sometimes it is a professional counselor. Sometimes it is a spiritually mature brother or sister in the faith who can help us recognize our defects and help us remove them. We trust God and them to bring us through this process.

Do you have a spiritual mentor? Do you have a doctor? Or, are you trying to treat this cancer on your own?

Decisions

You and I are in the business of making decisions that we don’t have the power to keep. I mean think about it. Have you ever tried to break a habit such as gossiping, obsessive comparison of yourself with others, small-white lies, fits of internal anger and resentment, a lustful look at another person, obsessive daydreaming, or isolation from others? Even more difficult, have you ever tried to love and forgive others, put time and energy into things that aren’t important to you but are important to others, or spent time with others without having some sort of your own agenda?

The Kingdom of God is backwards because in this kingdom, we make decisions we don’t have the power to keep. God longs for us to let go of things that hurt us and others, while we move towards the things that bring peace and a sense of life. But, think about this, Jesus died on the cross to rescue us. We were unable to rescue ourselves from our own sinfulness in the first place. What makes me think that I now have the power to fight temptation or now have the power to become a better person?

The reality is that God wants us to make decisions to improve our lives and the lives of others, but just like his atonement through the cross, He is the only one who has the power to carry out what we are unable to do for ourselves. I simply make the decision, invite Him to carry it out, and move on to what’s next. “Come to Me, all of you who are weary, and I will give you rest.” He says. This is what He longs to do with you and I, but it means we have to make decisions without the power to carry them out. This goes against all self-centeredness.

In the end, allowing God to work through us is what brings the most joy, peace, and glory. Be careful though, and always remember He loves you before you make the decision. This isn't a performance based salvation. You can make mistakes. But, if you don't make real decisions, then there is no opportunity to make a mistake in the first place.