We Don't Have the Authority to Judge Ourselves

We spend a lot of time evaluating ourselves in light of our performance in this world, in our professions, and in our families. Yet, this is contrary to the gospel. The good news is that not only shouldn't we judge ourselves for our performance, but we don't even have the authority to judge ourselves.* That authority never belonged to us in the first place. The moment we judge our performance in the light of others is the moment we remain in a cycle of shame that will never end. It is us trying to play God.

St. Paul says this in 1 Corinthians 4:

1. I do not judge myself in regards to others.

2. My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent.

3. We should judge nothing until the appointed time. We should wait until the Lord comes, and this is when He will judge us.

4. In the end, He will praise me. This is his judgement. (Sounds arrogant, but it isn't. Here's why:)

In light of the fact that all sin has been atoned for and that we will stand before God having been completely transformed into God-like creatures upon our death, His judgement will be praise. We'll be our true and wonderful selves in that moment. There will be a judgement, but we will be declared righteous. So, as St. Paul says, my recommendation is to wait for judgement until the appointed time. Let Him judge you. In his judgement, He will praise you.

That being said, what do we do with ourselves in the present time? Won't this lead to a license for irresponsible living? A failure to help people, a failure to protect others through our own spiritual and healthy living, a failure to follow the design of God? The answer is that it could. The other answer is that it might not. The answer depends on the person's heart. A person who has a soft heart will be left with sadness in the absence of judgement. A person who has a hard heart will be left with emptiness and a nomadic spirit.

I know both.

Sadness, apart from judgement, brings the opportunity for hope and joy. As I'm sure I've read by either C.S. Lewis or Henri Nowen in the past, and can testify to myself at times, sadness and joy are closely linked. The true motive for sadness is compassion which comes from a heart generated by love. Sadness, therefore, which is connected to love is connected to God, which ultimately produces joy. They are like opposite sides of the same coin.

A person who judges oneself hides from the very thing that needs to be dealt with. They avoid the sadness they need so desperately not so much in light of how they've performed, but more importantly in the ways in which they have failed to love. Leaving judgement and moving back towards sadness is the way to get into contact with that love once again. This is the beauty of sadness over judgement.

Finally, a person who enters into sadness apart from judgement also begins to see their own acts of love in a new way. They are able to enjoy their own acts of love without feeling arrogant or self-righteous. They feel glorious, operating in alignment with God's design. Somehow, they praise their own actions with total humility. This is the absence of judgement. It is called happiness.

God, may we live in the light of your compassion, sadness, joy, and humility.

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*This idea is taken from Henry Rojas

**I'm indebted always to my conversations with Nick Vieron and Josh Ashurst in all of my writings. This blog reflects our conversations, not just my own thoughts. In that light, I cite 1 Pet 4:11, in which I can always be indebted to God for these very conversations.

***Finally, I do not even judge myself for this blog entry, which may or may not contain theological mistakes or lack of insight. I trust the Lord will guide whomever reads these words.

Playing God - A Type of Co-Dependency

Yesterday, I read a passage from Oswald Chambers, November 15th entry in "My Utmost for His Highest"*. In it, Chambers discusses how he moved from playing God to letting God play God. I've also gone through a similar process, even though I still fall into its trap from time to time. The Chambers entry is so good that I simply decided to copy and paste it below. I've taken it from http://www.myutmost.org/

NOV. 15th: WHAT IS THAT TO THEE? (O. Chambers)

"Lord, what shall this man do? . . What is that to thee? Follow thou Me." John 21:21,2

"One of our severest lessons comes from the stubborn refusal to see that we must not interfere in other people's lives. It takes a long time to realize the danger of being an amateur providence, that is, interfering with God's order for others. You see a certain person suffering, and you say - He shall not suffer, and I will see that he does not. You put your hand straight in front of God's permissive will to prevent it, and God says - "What is that to thee?" If there is stagnation spiritually, never allow it to go on, but get into God's presence and find out the reason for it. Possibly you will find it is because you have been interfering in the life of another; proposing things you had no right to propose; advising when you had no right to advise. When you do have to give advice to another, God will advise through you with the direct understanding of His Spirit; your part is to be so rightly related to God that His discernment comes through you all the time for the blessing of another soul."

In light of this message from Chambers, we must look at moving in this direction as a blessing and not as a way that we ought to get our act together. The gospel is that God wants us to let go of playing God in other people's lives but that this is a process. His shed blood covers us from all unrighteousness, even the very act of playing God. We are now free to try out new ways of living without the fear that God might reject us if we don't get it. The moment we recognize what we are doing and confess that to God is the moment the process has already begun. That is good news.

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*Chambers was a Scottish pastor born 1874; died 1917)

The Conversation of God

There is a depth of intimacy on God's side that goes way deeper than we are even aware of. As believers, we believe God dwells inside us. But what does this mean?

God tells us in Romans 8:26 that we don't really know what to pray for, but that the Holy Spirit is inside there interceding with groans for in ways we are unable to speak ourselves.

Oswald Chambers reflects on this verse*. He says that when God searches our hearts, He isn't searching for our conscious prayers, rather to find out what the prayers of the Holy Spirit are. Why? The answer is that the Holy Spirit cares way more about us than we do. He also knows what we really need and what our true desires are. He knows our design.

And this is what gets me. This is where the individual personalities of the Trinity make sense to me, even though they don't make sense to me. The tenderness of God is that He dwells inside of me. He knows everything. He knows the pain, he knows the junk, and he knows the dreams. In addition, He is continuously having this conversation with Himself, from Spirit to Father. It is something that looks like this:

The Father says, "Can you tell me what is wrong? What are his needs? What is his pain?" The Holy Spirit says, "Father, these are his pains, these are his self-destructive and other-destructive behaviors, these are his dreams. What is there that we can do for him? He is my beloved and he's in so much pain."

The idea that God dwells inside us can often feel so vague. We aren't aware of these conversations. To get a picture of what is going on in conversation among the Trinity look at how Jesus cares so tenderly for the downtrodden in the Gospels and you'll see how He feels about you, yet He lives inside of your heart.

The Holy Spirit, deep inside our innermost parts, is not dead. He is alive. He is emotional about us. He is continually talking with our Father about our sins, our joys, our fears, our dreams, and our desires. He is not without solutions. I know them. Believe me, I'm still messed up in a lot of ways, but I have hope because I've seen some of the results of these conversations. They take time, but I know some of them. I've seen some of it happen in me and others. I know God is having these sorts of conversations all the time. We are His joy.

The grace of God is that He dwells inside of us the moment we let Him and He never leaves. All of the sin has been atoned for through the cross. From one messed up person to another, let me remind you that He's now in the business of caring for us and always has been**. He's wrapped Himself up inside of us. This is who He is. This is His glory.

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*My Utmost for His Highest Nov. 8 entry

**Romans 5:8