We Don't Have the Authority to Judge Ourselves

We spend a lot of time evaluating ourselves in light of our performance in this world, in our professions, and in our families. Yet, this is contrary to the gospel. The good news is that not only shouldn't we judge ourselves for our performance, but we don't even have the authority to judge ourselves.* That authority never belonged to us in the first place. The moment we judge our performance in the light of others is the moment we remain in a cycle of shame that will never end. It is us trying to play God.

St. Paul says this in 1 Corinthians 4:

1. I do not judge myself in regards to others.

2. My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent.

3. We should judge nothing until the appointed time. We should wait until the Lord comes, and this is when He will judge us.

4. In the end, He will praise me. This is his judgement. (Sounds arrogant, but it isn't. Here's why:)

In light of the fact that all sin has been atoned for and that we will stand before God having been completely transformed into God-like creatures upon our death, His judgement will be praise. We'll be our true and wonderful selves in that moment. There will be a judgement, but we will be declared righteous. So, as St. Paul says, my recommendation is to wait for judgement until the appointed time. Let Him judge you. In his judgement, He will praise you.

That being said, what do we do with ourselves in the present time? Won't this lead to a license for irresponsible living? A failure to help people, a failure to protect others through our own spiritual and healthy living, a failure to follow the design of God? The answer is that it could. The other answer is that it might not. The answer depends on the person's heart. A person who has a soft heart will be left with sadness in the absence of judgement. A person who has a hard heart will be left with emptiness and a nomadic spirit.

I know both.

Sadness, apart from judgement, brings the opportunity for hope and joy. As I'm sure I've read by either C.S. Lewis or Henri Nowen in the past, and can testify to myself at times, sadness and joy are closely linked. The true motive for sadness is compassion which comes from a heart generated by love. Sadness, therefore, which is connected to love is connected to God, which ultimately produces joy. They are like opposite sides of the same coin.

A person who judges oneself hides from the very thing that needs to be dealt with. They avoid the sadness they need so desperately not so much in light of how they've performed, but more importantly in the ways in which they have failed to love. Leaving judgement and moving back towards sadness is the way to get into contact with that love once again. This is the beauty of sadness over judgement.

Finally, a person who enters into sadness apart from judgement also begins to see their own acts of love in a new way. They are able to enjoy their own acts of love without feeling arrogant or self-righteous. They feel glorious, operating in alignment with God's design. Somehow, they praise their own actions with total humility. This is the absence of judgement. It is called happiness.

God, may we live in the light of your compassion, sadness, joy, and humility.

______________________

*This idea is taken from Henry Rojas

**I'm indebted always to my conversations with Nick Vieron and Josh Ashurst in all of my writings. This blog reflects our conversations, not just my own thoughts. In that light, I cite 1 Pet 4:11, in which I can always be indebted to God for these very conversations.

***Finally, I do not even judge myself for this blog entry, which may or may not contain theological mistakes or lack of insight. I trust the Lord will guide whomever reads these words.