Gratitude - Messed Up

There is a subtle difference between two lines of thinking. It is so subtle that many Christians have gotten caught up in this difference, albeit with very good intentions.

Check out these two different statements:

1. I want to glorify God out of a response of gratitude for what He has done for me.

2. I want to glorify God because that is who He has turned me into - one who wants to do this.

Do you see the difference?

The first statement, albeit very good intentions, is still very self-centered. It turns into, "Why am I not glorifying God? Why don't I have enough gratitude? I must not love Him enough." It still relies on a works based perception of the gospel.

The second statement has nothing to do with performance. It doesn't even talk about performance. It simply talks about where the desire comes from. It comes from God. The desire could be smaller than an electron, but it comes from God.

The first belief leads to a lifetime of frustration. Ironically, the second belief will ultimately lead to a life filled with gratitude for what He has done for us, the very thing belief #1 was trying to get at all along.

The Mustard Seed of Faith - God Living in Us

I think a lot of us want God to give us this divine trance-like state where we obey Him without thinking about it. The whole thing seems so difficult. Why won't He just make us do what He wants us to?

I don't have any answers to those questions.

However, there is something that I do know. There is something deep down inside of us that wants to do good and shun evil. As believers, it goes deeper than our dysfunctional flesh. It goes deeper than our messed up past. It is God. He lives inside of us now. Deep down inside, He's there. He's strong. He's powerful. He's got a heart. He's given it to us. He's raised us from the dead.

Oh, I know the bigger part of ourself feels like all we want to do is escape and run away from our lives and our problems. But, we have to believe the truth, which is that we all know that there is "something", I'm not even sure what to call it, but there is something deep down inside us that doesn't want to do all the sinful things we're used to doing. We don't want to go off on our spouse. We don't want to tell another half-truth. We don't want to take that next drink or joint. We all know there is something deep down that wants to get into healthy relationships and cast off those sorts of things. We may not have the power to do it, but we know the desire is deep down there, even if only a glimpse or a moment in time.

What we have to believe is that it is God in there. He's the one who has changed us into new creatures. The desire we have to do good and shun evil is real. It is ours. It is ours because God has given it to us. Every temptation that comes, we must remember that our deeper desire is to to cast it off because we have goodness to give to the world. It can feel so small sometimes, but we have to remember that even if it seems like such a small desire in the wake of the seemingly larger, dysfunctional patterns of the past that it is still real and it is who God has turned us into. God's heart inside us will win in the long run.

2 Corinthians 5:21

The Bounce in Our Step - An Indicator

The reason I don’t want to sin in the areas of unhealthy-escape is because when I do so, I lose the ability to be lighthearted and playful. I also lose the ability to mourn my own losses or the losses of others. I simply become numb to the world through escape.

God’s desire isn’t for us to stop lusting*, drugging, shopping-for-escape, eating-for-escape, working-for-escape, internet-for-escape, or game-for-escape, out of some sort of positive consequence in-and-of-themselves. Sure, there could be something to be said about trusting God even when we don't know what the reason, but let me contend that His primary concern is that these things strip away the bounce in our step. Our lightheartedness. Our playfulness. They also take away our abilities to grieve for us or those around us. They take away the beauty and strength we have for those around us. They take away our ability to enjoy Him or mourn with Him. We simply become numb to ourselves and those around us.

Romans 12:15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.

The primary way to rejoice and mourn isn’t to try to stop the sin of unhealthy escapes. The primary way to stop this type of sin is to enter into healthy relationships with safe people who understand the destructiveness of such behavior and are helping each other to leave such behavior without judgement towards one another.

They tell you that you do have strength and beauty to offer the world and that you are a joy to be around. Enter a community like this, and the bounce will come back to your step. The tenderness and compassion of your youth will enter your heart once again. You’ll see the destructiveness of sin in a whole new light. It will no longer be so much about feeling shameful, as it will be about a desire to bring your heart to the world. It is bringing your heart to the world that God is after.
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*Some of these Judeo-Christian sins aren’t understandable by those who share a different world-view. However, consider this - lust and other sins which are considered unharmful are actually those things which produce resentment in our hearts. I’m not sure why this happens, but it does. This resentment is so cyclical, that it is often unidentifiable by those who are wrapped up in it. Again, the sin isn’t so much about stopping “Behavior X” as it is about how “Behavior X” affects your relationships. It is destructive inasmuch as it takes away your ability to give to those around you.

The Lighthearted and The Playful

The lighthearted and the playful bring joy to the world through the sacrifice of their own hiddenness.

Our Hearts

In the end, it doesn't matter how well we have performed or what we have accomplished--a life without heart is not worth living. For out of this wellspring of our soul flow all true caring and all meaningful work, all real worship and all sacrifice. - Eldridge, The Sacred Romance