Graduation

Some of my students just graduated from our intensive ESL program yesterday. This was a particularly neat group of students. They really liked each other and were hard workers. They did this whole thing together. It was very cool to see them walk across the stage and claim their graduation certificates.

You've Been Remade

You are more than the choices that you've made. You are more than the sum of your past mistakes. You are more than the problems you create. You've been remade. -Lyrics from the new album by Tenth Ave North

I Feel this Need for You

I long to feel You. I feel this need for You. I need to hear You. Is that so wrong? -Lyrics, Tenth Ave North

What's Been Done For You

‘Cause this is not about what you've done, but what's been done for you. -Lyrics, Tenth Ave North

Within Me

Within me You placed Your spirit. Within me You placed a new heart. I will worship You, Lord, because of who You are. -Lyrics, The Late Jason Mitchener

Writing for My Students

Sometimes I dream of writing a major book like "The Shack" or "Wild at Heart" or even a novel. But, the other day I realized that this is ridiculous compared to what I have right now, which is my students. I wrote a three part story for them about a couple of international-student-superheroes in an action-comedy-romance with target vocabulary words from our lessons. After reading the final part to them, they applauded.

They're pretty cool.

What my students don't know is why it's so amazing when they applaud my work. The reason it is so amazing is because in my mind I'm applauding at the same time. It is a moment of worship for me. We're all applauding the One who gave me the hands, the mind, the creativity, and the teachers* that were needed to write such fun stuff. I've applauded God along with others during church worship, but the applause I experienced that day was so much more meaningful. Much less abstract. We applauded God for what He has made me into.
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*My teachers: First, my dad is my original writing teacher. He writes. I grew up listening to him about techniques for writing. Second, I studied a book my dad recommended to me called "A Story is a Promise" by Bill Johnson. My understanding of the difference between story and plot comes from that book. Third, my readings of adolescent novels such as The Lightning Thief by Rick Riordian have helped me to 'see' what Bill Johnson is talking about in "A Story is a Promise". Finally, God is my ultimate writing instructor. Look at Genesis. If a story is a promise, then the fall is the ultimate promise being made by a writer. At the moment Adam and Eve eat the fruit and run away from God, our first thought is, "What is God going to do about this? How is this problem going to be resolved?" God has made us an implicit promise that he will bring a resolution to the conflict in the story. I'll write about the story telling element of the Bible in another blog entry.

Freedom and Belief

We're not free because we believe it. We're already free. We get to experience that freedom when we believe it. -Original Phoenix Suns Gorilla

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Repentance isn't asserting that I'm going to do something about my sin, it's admitting I can't do anything about my sin. This is a biblical definition of repentance.

There is another nuance that I've missed for years. Repentance isn't just admitting that I can't do anything about my sin, it's about admitting that I can't do anything about anyone else's sin either (Lynch, Thrall, McNichol)

Whoa. That's not cool. That's not fair. That's not right. But, guess what, it is so freeing.

See, I've spent most of my life rehearsing mental arguments during moments lacking work, in which I convince others why they're wrong, how they've hurt me, and how they need to be fixed. I've also spent most of my life trying to manipulate others into doing what I wanted them to do for me or hiding from them, so that their sin won't hurt me any more. Do you see the lack of repentance here? What's happening is I'm trying to do something about someone else's sin. The Bible, however, is clear: There's nothing I can do about anyone's sin.

Now, don't get me wrong. I fight for justice. I set up healthy boundaries and tell people what I won't let them do to me, within what ability I have. However, there is an underlying premise I must accept. Even when I set up healthy boundaries or fight for justice, John or Mary will still sin against me, and I must admit and accept that there is nothing I can do about their sin.

In my mind this does two things: First, it is a recognition that only God can handle their sin, primarily through His heart for them and behind-the-scenes stuff He's doing, which we are oblivious to most often. Only He can redeem their sin, I can't redeem it for Him. Second, I can stop working. I'm not responsible for their sin. This takes the pressure off. God is very interested in giving us this gift. The gift of peace.

Repentance isn't just about our sin, it is about admitting we can't do anything about the next person's sin either.

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These are my re-hashed thoughts of what I've primarily learned from Lynch, Thrall, and McNicoll, intertwined with my own reality. I try never write about stuff I haven't experienced. I try never to contemplate or conjecture what *might* be true. These thoughts are based primarily on what I've experienced.

Cheering us on. Singing over us.

So often, we think God could care less about us. I don't believe that. My personal opinion is that he loves us and fights for us without reservation. Here is an ancient writing I read last night. "God is near you. He is a victorious warrior. He takes joy in you. He quiets you with His love. He takes joy in you with singing." - The Prophet Zephaniah in the Old Testament (Zep 3:17 SDT). This is what I believe.

My friend and I talked a little bit last night about how it's like God is our parent at a little league baseball game. Cheering. A little out of control. Other parents might even be a little embarrassed at how God would act in cheering us on. God isn't embarrassed. He let's it loose. We're running out there and he's so proud of us. He's singing songs about us.

A Proud Heart and a Humble Heart

A proud or boastful heart is concerned about being exposed for being right* or being wrong, being moral or immoral, doing something correctly or incorrectly, succeeding or failing. The key idea here is fearing exposure. They fear being exposed for anything, no matter what it may be.

A humble heart, on the other hand, claims rightness or wrongness, morality or immorality, correctness or incorrectness, success or failure; whatever the case may be. The humble heart sometimes might hide for a while. This is true. It might take a while - maybe a few minutes, a few hours, a few days or weeks; but, the humble heart is bound to come around. It is the new person that has been awakened.

A humble heart also knows that it can't survive on its own. The humble person needs a safety net. A God who isn't ashamed of him or her. A group of trusted others who aren't either. The humble person bravely risks exposure surrounded by such a safety net.

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*A proud heart even downplays when they are moral, right or successful. Still hiding. This is all a proud heart knows to do. Put on the mask. Must protect ourselves from any accusation. Ironically, the proud heart is concerned about being called prideful or boastful. They say things like, "Oh, it was nothing" to the gratitude of another**, instead of simply saying, "You're welcome. It was my pleasure." This second answer is the heart of a humble person. They claim their service. It is who God made them to be. They risk the accusations.

**I know this person very well, because this used to be me.