My Church Community

I'm part of a pretty amazing church these days. My friend Bob summed up our spiritual community in this way and I thought the comment really it right on:

"[My wife] and I were just talking - we decided that the best thing about [our church] are the people. I wanted to call them good, but really, they are just very good at loving each other." -Bob

Unbridled Emotions

Never restrict your emotions or try to suppress them. Let them run free and unbridled. Act upon those emotions and among those emotions in healthy ways.

In a Funk

I've written a couple of blogs recently. If you read them, you might be misled to believe that I'm 'close' with God or 'tight' with God right now. You might think I feel at peace or content with my life. The answer is 'no'. I'm not. I've been in a funk for a couple of months now. Feel very disconnected.

I still write.

There was a time a couple years ago when I started writing this blog that I decided I would write no matter how I felt or feel. Why? God's view on me never changes. I write out of His authority, not out of how I feel. Connected or disconnected.

I remember watching a video-taped recording of Rich Mullins singing one of his last concerts before his death in 1997. He looked like crap. Looked disconnected. Definitely didn't look happy or at peace. Looked like he was simply singing without any heart or soul. Maybe he was in conflict. Maybe he felt like no one loved him. Maybe someone close to him hadn't given him the time he wanted. I don't know. But, he sang anyway. He worked out of his God-given authority.

In this life, we will go through periods of depression, disconnection, sin, and pain. We don't stop parenting, working, relating to our spouses, or creating works of art because we feel like we're in a funk. That goes against the gospel. We contribute ourselves to those around us based on God's approval, not our own. This is the gospel.

We Don't Know What to Do With God

The other day, I saw my friend Nick tell a little two-year-old girl that she looked cute. She looked pretty. The little girl blushed, smiled, and turned her head trying to hide. This is all she knew how to do. She was so happy for the affirmation and yet embarrassed at the same time. She didn't know what to do with a man telling her she was pretty.

We do the same with God. I remember a conversation I had with a friend of mine. I'd just met her at the time. I could tell she was struggling with believing that the God of the universe cared about her. I said, "Jesus fought and died for you. Do you really believe you could ever do anything horrible enough to make him think poorly of you? I mean, He fought and died for you. How could you ever mess things up enough when He's already done that for you? How could you ever screw things up enough or make such a wrong decision that it would revoke the heart He already has for you?"

My friend didn't blush, smile, or turn her head trying to hide, like our little two-year-old that my friend Nick blessed with words of beauty, but my friend was doing so in her mind. I could see the wheels spinning. She'd never really been confronted with the bestowal of beauty upon her by God that she could never retract.

Here's the truth. None of us know what to do with this kind of love. God bestows beauty upon us. He bestows strength upon us. We don't know what to do. We feel so happy. We feel so embarrassed. Francis Chan says, "The God of the universe loves us with a radical, unconditional, self-sacrificing love. And, what is our typical response? We go to church, sing songs, and try not to cuss. Whether or not you've verbalized it or not... we all know something's wrong."*

If we are to become like little children, as Jesus says, then maybe we need to clue-in-onto this little girl's reaction. In her innocence, our little two-year-old friend simply turns, blushes, and tries to hide. She doesn't know what to do with such love.

Why do we keep trying to act like we do?

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*Francis Chan is author of the book "Crazy Love"