[The following is a 3 page paper that one of my tutoring students wrote for her English 101 class. She's trying to communicate her ideas to us in her second language. I think it is a great story!]
During my life I have been learning that friendship is when you share your experiences, talk about everything with someone important in your life and express your love for that person in many ways. Until now I did not notice that I have to take care of my relationships. Sometimes there are obstacles in the way that can affect relationships and this is how many problems between friends begin. Generally speaking, in life, when people feel embarrassed from conflicts with each other they want to run away. Sometimes they need help from another to take that big step and resolve what one cannot do on their own. This is an example of how my friend helps me to get over big obstacles, in some conflicts I was having.
I met Sonia couple semesters ago. We have been friends for almost three years. Our relationship is very good. I am proud of her and pleased that I have her as a friend. But not everything is sweet in this life.
Last year Sonia went to Mexico and she stayed there six months. During that semester I made some friends and it was a nice group. She had a good relationship with one of my friends, Luz. She was pregnant and she had her baby three months ago. This is how the problem started. A friend of us named Luz had her baby. She called me after and she sent me a picture of her little boy. Sonia felt bad because Luz did not send her a picture of her baby. The next day, Sonia called and invited me to go to the hospital to visit Luz. I was really busy that day so I told her that I would give her a call back if I had time. My father and my mother took me to the hospital for half an hour, so that I would not have to go the next day.
At night, I chatted with Sonia as I did every day. Then, I told her that I was in the hospital with Luz for a half an hour. She started saying that she waited for my call all day. I did not think that it was a big problem and I ignored all of her words saying that it was not my problem that she did not have a good day. In her words, she said that the people she thought were her friends were not.
In that moment, I shut down my computer because it was not the best moment to talk. I thought that we could talk later. But the later never came. Time passed and we did not talk anymore. She ignored me all the time and I did the same thing. During this time, I went through a lot of emotions. I felt sad because I missed her as a friend. I felt angry for having this trouble with her. But also, I had the hope that we would talk again.
Days later, I was talking to my friend Rosa. She is my coworker and we have good relationship. I told her that Sonia was my friend and how nice our relationship was. Also, in the conversation I told her about the problem we had experienced. She asked me why I did not talk to her. I said, “why me?” She was the one that decided to stop talking. She was the person that has to talk to me to apologize Rosa said, “If you think that Sonia is a good friend then talk to her about what happened. You have nothing to lose”. Rosa’s advice touched me. It seemed that Rosa had knowledge in her words. She told me some similar experiences that she had before.
My birthday was coming and I decided to call Sonia because I wanted her to spend the day with me. I was afraid. The next day, I saw her online. I decided to say “Hi!” She did reply and we have a long conversation about what happened. Also we fixed that problem talking. She accepted that she was the one that made this problem bigger. We both agreed that something that ridiculous we should not end our friendship. Our relationship is more valuable than these little problems which then become bigger and bigger. After that we started talking about what happened with each other during that time. I saw her the next week and we acted as if nothing ever happened.
We are still friends and I feel happy. It does not matter if I was the one that decided to take the first step. The important thing is that everything is fine. Now we know that if we have any kind of problems we had to talk about it in that moment and not to wait because we can lose moments and experiences together. We both learned that friendship cannot end for something absurd. Friendship is built on trust, love, patience and tolerance. In a larger sense, people help to see another person’s problems from a different point of view. They help open each other’s eyes when necessary. Fear, shame, and embarrassment are feeling that sometimes we cannot get over by ourselves, and we need each other. This goes for conflict as well as other problems we face.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Young Lucy Takes on a Life and Death Assignment
[You may not be interested in this blog entry unless you've read Voyage of the Dawn Treader. You may not be interested anyway, since this entry is rather long.]
Young Lucy took on an assignment, in Voyage of the Dawn Treader by C.S. Lewis, in order to save the lives of her friends. Invisible creatures threatened to kill her, Edmund, Prince Caspian, Reepicheep, and the other members of their party if she did not march up the stairs of a two story house, locate a book of magic, and find the spell to make all invisible things visible. A magician who lived in the house was also invisible and so it was believed that Lucy would be risking her life to save the others, because he could attack her without any warning. The invisible creatures were tired of being invisible, were afraid to go into the house for fear of the magician, and for various reasons required a young girl, who happened to be Lucy, to go in and read the spell to make them visible once again. They threatened to kill all of the crew, if she failed to do this task. We find out later that the magician is a good person and wouldn’t harm Lucy, but that doesn’t matter because it was the fear she had to face before knowing this that made it such a heroic and terrifying act.
On a side note, it is important here to see the distinction between the tension in the plot and the underlying story that is being told. The plot obstacles are the fears she faces and the fact that she needs to find and read the spell to make all invisible things visible, or she and her friends die. This is the overt conflict in the story between Lucy (and her friends) versus the invisible creatures they can’t fight against.
There is an underlying story or metaphor that is occurring here, however, and it has to do with the following question: Why is Lewis using this idea of making all invisible things visible? Is there a second layer? The answer is yes and we’ll see this as I tread through the rest of the story.
Lucy enters the house, goes upstairs, and locates the magic book. She turns the pages but there is no table of contents. There are no words for that matter. They simply begin to appear as she turns each page, one by one. She can’t skip to the spell she needs to recite. Thus, she must read through all these other spells. In fact, these spells are very tempting. She learns how to cure people of all sorts of ailments, how to see what other people think about her, how to make her the most beautiful woman in the world (at least more beautiful than her older sister, Susan), and even reads the most wonderful story ever written, which she then forgets. Unfortunately, she does read the spell that allows her to see what her friends think of her and it is horrible. She misunderstands what one of her friends says about her and she feels shame, anger, and pain. The face of Aslan the Lion (the Christ-like figure in this book) seems to jump out from the page at her after she forces herself to fall victim to the temptation to read this spell and she quickly turns the page.
What I find so amazing and true to the human condition at this point in the story is that Lucy is distracted by these other pleasures or abilities in the magic book when, in reality, the lives of her and her friends are at stake. I think of the many addictions we face in life (both physical and psychological addictions) and how we risk our very spiritual, physical, and emotional lives in satisfying our pleasures in these distractions. Lewis is dead on in describing the human inclination towards sabotage. No pun intended.
Finally, Lucy locates and reads the spell which makes all invisible things visible. After reading it, she turns around to walk out the door and Aslan the Lion (the Christ-like figure) is standing in the doorway. She runs into his mane and they embrace. She says, “Why didn’t you appear before?” He says, “You made all things visible and I was always here with you.”
If it were just this simple that Lewis was trying to show us through Lucy that we often think God is not present when he is invisible, then it would still be a good story. But, the metaphor goes a little further, I believe. Not only is God present always even though He is invisible, but there is a lesson here to be learned about how the reasons for doing things are so often invisible, but once we go on with doing them that these reasons become visible afterwards.
Lucy, for example, probably faced all sorts of fears, second guessing, and analyzing of her situation as she walked through the house and up the stairs, in order to find the magical book. In fact, we know this from Lewis's description of her journey up those stairs. At any time, she might have freaked out and left. Had she done so, she would have felt embarrassed, ashamed, and afraid to return to her friends, especially since she knew it meant their deaths. Most likely, she would have run away into the forest in an attempt to hide her shame and escape her fate. Thank goodness, Lucy didn't do this and pressed forward, trusting that all would work out for the better. In the end, when all things became visible, she found not only that Aslan was there with her all along, but she also discovered many of the reasons why the other creatures were invisible, along with the good nature of the magician, and she also discovered the horrible things she was capable of while reading through the book.
What I'm trying to say here, is that Lucy never knew exactly why she had to go through this particular assignment until after it was over. Once she actually went through with it, ALL THINGS BECAME VISIBLE, EVEN THE REASONS SHE HAD TO GO THROUGH IT IN THE FIRST PLACE.
In our own lives, we often hear the expression hindsight is 20/20. I myself have taken many personal risks in this past year that have gone against the internal, dysfunctional, and unbiblical rules of my heart. Each time I have taken such a risk, it feels like I've been asked to do what Lucy was asked to do. I feel like I might die, especially because I don't know what the consequences will be. God is odd to me because He sets tasks before us that we have to accomplish without telling us the results, ahead of time. In the end, I actually have to trust Him, walk into the house, go up the stairs, risk being killed by a magician I'm unacquainted with, and find the magical book. Then, once I have done so and read the spell, I find that things invisible have now been made visible. The more I try to calculate the results, the less I learn about what is really happening. This is a trust issue.
Young Lucy took on an assignment, in Voyage of the Dawn Treader by C.S. Lewis, in order to save the lives of her friends. Invisible creatures threatened to kill her, Edmund, Prince Caspian, Reepicheep, and the other members of their party if she did not march up the stairs of a two story house, locate a book of magic, and find the spell to make all invisible things visible. A magician who lived in the house was also invisible and so it was believed that Lucy would be risking her life to save the others, because he could attack her without any warning. The invisible creatures were tired of being invisible, were afraid to go into the house for fear of the magician, and for various reasons required a young girl, who happened to be Lucy, to go in and read the spell to make them visible once again. They threatened to kill all of the crew, if she failed to do this task. We find out later that the magician is a good person and wouldn’t harm Lucy, but that doesn’t matter because it was the fear she had to face before knowing this that made it such a heroic and terrifying act.
On a side note, it is important here to see the distinction between the tension in the plot and the underlying story that is being told. The plot obstacles are the fears she faces and the fact that she needs to find and read the spell to make all invisible things visible, or she and her friends die. This is the overt conflict in the story between Lucy (and her friends) versus the invisible creatures they can’t fight against.
There is an underlying story or metaphor that is occurring here, however, and it has to do with the following question: Why is Lewis using this idea of making all invisible things visible? Is there a second layer? The answer is yes and we’ll see this as I tread through the rest of the story.
Lucy enters the house, goes upstairs, and locates the magic book. She turns the pages but there is no table of contents. There are no words for that matter. They simply begin to appear as she turns each page, one by one. She can’t skip to the spell she needs to recite. Thus, she must read through all these other spells. In fact, these spells are very tempting. She learns how to cure people of all sorts of ailments, how to see what other people think about her, how to make her the most beautiful woman in the world (at least more beautiful than her older sister, Susan), and even reads the most wonderful story ever written, which she then forgets. Unfortunately, she does read the spell that allows her to see what her friends think of her and it is horrible. She misunderstands what one of her friends says about her and she feels shame, anger, and pain. The face of Aslan the Lion (the Christ-like figure in this book) seems to jump out from the page at her after she forces herself to fall victim to the temptation to read this spell and she quickly turns the page.
What I find so amazing and true to the human condition at this point in the story is that Lucy is distracted by these other pleasures or abilities in the magic book when, in reality, the lives of her and her friends are at stake. I think of the many addictions we face in life (both physical and psychological addictions) and how we risk our very spiritual, physical, and emotional lives in satisfying our pleasures in these distractions. Lewis is dead on in describing the human inclination towards sabotage. No pun intended.
Finally, Lucy locates and reads the spell which makes all invisible things visible. After reading it, she turns around to walk out the door and Aslan the Lion (the Christ-like figure) is standing in the doorway. She runs into his mane and they embrace. She says, “Why didn’t you appear before?” He says, “You made all things visible and I was always here with you.”
If it were just this simple that Lewis was trying to show us through Lucy that we often think God is not present when he is invisible, then it would still be a good story. But, the metaphor goes a little further, I believe. Not only is God present always even though He is invisible, but there is a lesson here to be learned about how the reasons for doing things are so often invisible, but once we go on with doing them that these reasons become visible afterwards.
Lucy, for example, probably faced all sorts of fears, second guessing, and analyzing of her situation as she walked through the house and up the stairs, in order to find the magical book. In fact, we know this from Lewis's description of her journey up those stairs. At any time, she might have freaked out and left. Had she done so, she would have felt embarrassed, ashamed, and afraid to return to her friends, especially since she knew it meant their deaths. Most likely, she would have run away into the forest in an attempt to hide her shame and escape her fate. Thank goodness, Lucy didn't do this and pressed forward, trusting that all would work out for the better. In the end, when all things became visible, she found not only that Aslan was there with her all along, but she also discovered many of the reasons why the other creatures were invisible, along with the good nature of the magician, and she also discovered the horrible things she was capable of while reading through the book.
What I'm trying to say here, is that Lucy never knew exactly why she had to go through this particular assignment until after it was over. Once she actually went through with it, ALL THINGS BECAME VISIBLE, EVEN THE REASONS SHE HAD TO GO THROUGH IT IN THE FIRST PLACE.
In our own lives, we often hear the expression hindsight is 20/20. I myself have taken many personal risks in this past year that have gone against the internal, dysfunctional, and unbiblical rules of my heart. Each time I have taken such a risk, it feels like I've been asked to do what Lucy was asked to do. I feel like I might die, especially because I don't know what the consequences will be. God is odd to me because He sets tasks before us that we have to accomplish without telling us the results, ahead of time. In the end, I actually have to trust Him, walk into the house, go up the stairs, risk being killed by a magician I'm unacquainted with, and find the magical book. Then, once I have done so and read the spell, I find that things invisible have now been made visible. The more I try to calculate the results, the less I learn about what is really happening. This is a trust issue.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Your Scandalous Identity
If you believe in Jesus then there’s something that seems almost scandalous about your identity.1 There’s something that's too good to be true. Your new identity seems to be, almost as if you’re getting away with something, like robbing a bank or cheating on Wall Street, without any consequences. In reality, your new identity is completely and morally legitimate, even though you are sort of getting away with something.1 This seemingly scandalous something, however, is most often covered up by your inclination towards shame and self-rejection.2 Self-rejection is something you and I both are capable of struggling with on a day-to-day basis.6 The question is: What are we gonna do about it?3
One thing to do is to remind each other about who we really are in the eyes of God.4 If you believe that God lived among us as the person of Jesus, fought and died for you at the hands of the religious leaders, took on all of your sin, rose from the dead, and literally put Himself inside of you, then there is something that has dramatically changed about who you are. What God did for you is that He turned you into someone else. He literally turned you into someone else with a new core, a new inner-being.1 Maybe it might be even better to say that He has turned you into the real you or the person you were always meant to be. The only problem is that on your own, apart from others who can remind you daily about who you really are,4 you’ll fall back into self-rejection which is the main thing that is working against you.2
The reality is that you have been given a new name to reflect the new inner-being that God has put into you. He has literally put Himself into your heart. Therefore, part of your new name includes the prefix “Christ” or “Jesus” or “God” for that matter. If Jose Garcia believes in the romantic and heroic act of God dying for him on the cross, rescuing Him from all sin, and that God has put Himself into Jose, then his new name is “Christ-in-Jose Garcia” or “Jesus-in-Jose-Garcia” or “God-in-Jose-Garcia”.
If you believe that God had the guts to stick it out for you at the cross and to turn you into a new person, then you have a new identity. You have a new name. Your new prefix is "Christ". You are "Christ-in-So-in-So".5 You are no longer just "So-in-So". That person no longer exists.
____________________________________
1Leadership Catalyst and 2 Corinthians 5:17
2Henri Nouwen, Life of the Beloved
3Bill Thrall, Sermon
4This idea of affirmation through telling each other who we really are, is most concretely lived out among a small group of men whom I spend time with each week.
5I want to clarify that I'm not saying we are one with God in the same way that Jesus is one with the Father. We are completely distinct and separate from Him, yet He lives inside of us and is working through us. We are interconnected, yet separate somehow. I'm not sure how all this works, but I just want to clarify I'm not talking about anything resembling Pan-theism or that we are able to become gods of some sort. All I know is that our new name is "Christ-in-So-in-So" and that this radically changes everything when we believe this about ourselves.
6I still do. Maybe I struggle with self-rejection less than a couple years ago (I'm adding this in 2011), but it still comes to tempt me. Self-rejection is the opposite of the gospel. The question is What am I going to do with it?
One thing to do is to remind each other about who we really are in the eyes of God.4 If you believe that God lived among us as the person of Jesus, fought and died for you at the hands of the religious leaders, took on all of your sin, rose from the dead, and literally put Himself inside of you, then there is something that has dramatically changed about who you are. What God did for you is that He turned you into someone else. He literally turned you into someone else with a new core, a new inner-being.1 Maybe it might be even better to say that He has turned you into the real you or the person you were always meant to be. The only problem is that on your own, apart from others who can remind you daily about who you really are,4 you’ll fall back into self-rejection which is the main thing that is working against you.2
The reality is that you have been given a new name to reflect the new inner-being that God has put into you. He has literally put Himself into your heart. Therefore, part of your new name includes the prefix “Christ” or “Jesus” or “God” for that matter. If Jose Garcia believes in the romantic and heroic act of God dying for him on the cross, rescuing Him from all sin, and that God has put Himself into Jose, then his new name is “Christ-in-Jose Garcia” or “Jesus-in-Jose-Garcia” or “God-in-Jose-Garcia”.
If you believe that God had the guts to stick it out for you at the cross and to turn you into a new person, then you have a new identity. You have a new name. Your new prefix is "Christ". You are "Christ-in-So-in-So".5 You are no longer just "So-in-So". That person no longer exists.
____________________________________
1Leadership Catalyst and 2 Corinthians 5:17
2Henri Nouwen, Life of the Beloved
3Bill Thrall, Sermon
4This idea of affirmation through telling each other who we really are, is most concretely lived out among a small group of men whom I spend time with each week.
5I want to clarify that I'm not saying we are one with God in the same way that Jesus is one with the Father. We are completely distinct and separate from Him, yet He lives inside of us and is working through us. We are interconnected, yet separate somehow. I'm not sure how all this works, but I just want to clarify I'm not talking about anything resembling Pan-theism or that we are able to become gods of some sort. All I know is that our new name is "Christ-in-So-in-So" and that this radically changes everything when we believe this about ourselves.
6I still do. Maybe I struggle with self-rejection less than a couple years ago (I'm adding this in 2011), but it still comes to tempt me. Self-rejection is the opposite of the gospel. The question is What am I going to do with it?
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Addressing Legalism (Part IX): Fighting Legalism is the Second Greatest Battle
I called myself “stupid” three times in front of my friend the other day. She said, “Steven, now you have to say three good things about yourself.”* This was tough, but one of the three I came up with was, “I hate legalism.”** Her reply was, “And, you love grace.”
Wow. She was right, but it clued me into something new I’ve learned about myself. I realized that I hate legalism more than I love grace. Where do I want to be? I want to love grace more than I hate legalism. Or, maybe I could say that I love grace more than anything, but that I fear it for reasons I will list below. Nevertheless, I’ve realized that the fight against legalism*** is the second greatest battle I will fight in my lifetime. The greatest battle I will ever fight is to live out grace.
The reason grace is so hard is because it involves forgiveness. The reason forgiveness is so hard is because it requires giving up a whole lot that I really don’t like giving up. When someone has hurt me or I have hurt someone else, the single most difficult thing for you and I to do is to ask for, give, or receive forgiveness from the other person. For God, it required so much that He literally died to give us His forgiveness. The scripture says we were enemies and yet He died for us. When Jesus says “Love your enemies” (Matt 5:44), He really meant it and lived it out. This is grace.
Grace as a concept sounds great, but put it into a real life situation and grace might be the very thing you hate or fear the most. When someone sins against you (even someone you love) it can feel like they are your very enemy. You want to lash out at them or go into hiding. Either way you want to try to eliminate the sin out of your shame rather than out of forgiveness. Forgiveness requires truly acknowledging what happened (offender or victim) and eliminating it through your own death (letting go of holding it against the other person****). It is literally the hardest thing in life for us to do, I believe.
When Jesus tells us to love our enemies (Matt 5:44), I don’t think we get the full scope of what He is saying. We instantly think of people we hate or dislike, but we forget that loving our enemies includes loving those closest to us when they feel like an enemy to us. We have to come out of hiding, go to them and ask for, receive and/or give forgiveness. This is the greatest battle.
_______________________________
*I wasn't in total self-pity mode, but she was giving me an opportunity to aid me in getting out of any self-pity I might have been dealing with in the moment.
**I also told her I have cool looking skater shoes and that I am creative. It was all I could come up with. I was playing false modesty at first.
***Legalism is the various sets of unwritten, unbiblical rules we place on each other in various sub-cultures that point us away from God and away from each other. They point us away from God and each other because they promote our hiding in sin and shame, rather than coming out into the light and dealing with our conflict; which promotes the opportunity to forgive.
****This doesn’t mean you don’t set certain, healthy boundaries, especially when the person has become unsafe. For more on this topic read “Unsafe People” and/or “Boundaries” by Cloud and Townsend.
Wow. She was right, but it clued me into something new I’ve learned about myself. I realized that I hate legalism more than I love grace. Where do I want to be? I want to love grace more than I hate legalism. Or, maybe I could say that I love grace more than anything, but that I fear it for reasons I will list below. Nevertheless, I’ve realized that the fight against legalism*** is the second greatest battle I will fight in my lifetime. The greatest battle I will ever fight is to live out grace.
The reason grace is so hard is because it involves forgiveness. The reason forgiveness is so hard is because it requires giving up a whole lot that I really don’t like giving up. When someone has hurt me or I have hurt someone else, the single most difficult thing for you and I to do is to ask for, give, or receive forgiveness from the other person. For God, it required so much that He literally died to give us His forgiveness. The scripture says we were enemies and yet He died for us. When Jesus says “Love your enemies” (Matt 5:44), He really meant it and lived it out. This is grace.
Grace as a concept sounds great, but put it into a real life situation and grace might be the very thing you hate or fear the most. When someone sins against you (even someone you love) it can feel like they are your very enemy. You want to lash out at them or go into hiding. Either way you want to try to eliminate the sin out of your shame rather than out of forgiveness. Forgiveness requires truly acknowledging what happened (offender or victim) and eliminating it through your own death (letting go of holding it against the other person****). It is literally the hardest thing in life for us to do, I believe.
When Jesus tells us to love our enemies (Matt 5:44), I don’t think we get the full scope of what He is saying. We instantly think of people we hate or dislike, but we forget that loving our enemies includes loving those closest to us when they feel like an enemy to us. We have to come out of hiding, go to them and ask for, receive and/or give forgiveness. This is the greatest battle.
_______________________________
*I wasn't in total self-pity mode, but she was giving me an opportunity to aid me in getting out of any self-pity I might have been dealing with in the moment.
**I also told her I have cool looking skater shoes and that I am creative. It was all I could come up with. I was playing false modesty at first.
***Legalism is the various sets of unwritten, unbiblical rules we place on each other in various sub-cultures that point us away from God and away from each other. They point us away from God and each other because they promote our hiding in sin and shame, rather than coming out into the light and dealing with our conflict; which promotes the opportunity to forgive.
****This doesn’t mean you don’t set certain, healthy boundaries, especially when the person has become unsafe. For more on this topic read “Unsafe People” and/or “Boundaries” by Cloud and Townsend.
Friday, June 5, 2009
God is Like an Ice Cream Truck*
Do you remember the feeling that drew you in when the music of the ice cream truck touched your ears? It was intoxicating. You might have been scrambling all over the house for loose change or frantically asking mom for 35 cents. Do you remember Bullets, Bomb Pops, Ice Cream Push-Ups, Strawberry Shortcake Ice Cream Bars, and candy of all kinds? How about something salty like chips or a pickle? They had those too.
God is like an ice cream truck. He turns the music on and you are instantly drawn to find Him. Now, you might think this isn’t true, but think a little more indirectly, through your relationships. For example, I remember in college having this same feeling of anticipation when I’d meet up with my friends. I couldn’t wait to be with them at Applebee’s on a Friday night or on campus somewhere for lunch during a weekday. More recently, I remember having this same feeling meeting up with a house church I was a part of a few years ago. A friend of mine says he has this sense of anticipation about a men’s church group I’m a part of each week. It is one of his favorite things to look forward to during the week. Another man describes to me how when he and his wife each get home from work, they can’t wait to be together for an hour or so, before they venture out for the evening’s activities; with each other or on their own. They’ve been married for 10 years. In the end, only God can satisfy this deep longing, but our safe and healthy relationships can point us in the right direction.
God is like an ice cream truck. He turns on the music and we’re instantly drawn to Him. Where is it? Where is it coming from? Gotta find it. Keep an eye out in your weekly experiences for those safe and healthy relationships you anticipate the most.** That’s the music coming from God’s heart. You gotta go find it. It’s awesome.
_________________________________
*This title concept is directly taken from Captivating by John and Stasi Eldridge p. 131. The writing by me in this blog entry is completely my own extrapolation from this concept.
**Some forms of anticipation aren’t actually good, because they are addictions. There is a difference between a deep longing for the safety that a relationship provides or the compulsive desire to get whatever rush you can get out of it. A gentle longing vs. a compulsive desire. You’ll know the difference because those sorts of relationships never satisfy. In this sense, maybe the ice cream truck analogy isn’t totally accurate.
God is like an ice cream truck. He turns the music on and you are instantly drawn to find Him. Now, you might think this isn’t true, but think a little more indirectly, through your relationships. For example, I remember in college having this same feeling of anticipation when I’d meet up with my friends. I couldn’t wait to be with them at Applebee’s on a Friday night or on campus somewhere for lunch during a weekday. More recently, I remember having this same feeling meeting up with a house church I was a part of a few years ago. A friend of mine says he has this sense of anticipation about a men’s church group I’m a part of each week. It is one of his favorite things to look forward to during the week. Another man describes to me how when he and his wife each get home from work, they can’t wait to be together for an hour or so, before they venture out for the evening’s activities; with each other or on their own. They’ve been married for 10 years. In the end, only God can satisfy this deep longing, but our safe and healthy relationships can point us in the right direction.
God is like an ice cream truck. He turns on the music and we’re instantly drawn to Him. Where is it? Where is it coming from? Gotta find it. Keep an eye out in your weekly experiences for those safe and healthy relationships you anticipate the most.** That’s the music coming from God’s heart. You gotta go find it. It’s awesome.
_________________________________
*This title concept is directly taken from Captivating by John and Stasi Eldridge p. 131. The writing by me in this blog entry is completely my own extrapolation from this concept.
**Some forms of anticipation aren’t actually good, because they are addictions. There is a difference between a deep longing for the safety that a relationship provides or the compulsive desire to get whatever rush you can get out of it. A gentle longing vs. a compulsive desire. You’ll know the difference because those sorts of relationships never satisfy. In this sense, maybe the ice cream truck analogy isn’t totally accurate.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
The Reflection of God in Our Joys
Your personality and joy reflects part of the personality of God in the way you perceive and interact with the world around you. The degree to which you express this portion of your personality without inhibition (apart from the forms of addiction) is the degree to which you declare the glory of God.
The Incarnate God Himself, Jesus, displayed lots of interests and things He liked to do for fun, work, purpose, and experience. Think about it. He was a carpenter; a wood worker of sorts. I have a friend named Scott who does interior/exterior remodeling. I helped him build an interior, half-sized wall used as a partition in a restaurant bar and grill. We loaded an amazing array of detailed and meticulously purchased sets of materials into a U Haul we brought to the restaurant. I watched him as he measured out all the lengths and we used nuts and bolts and nail gun this and nail gun that. We even got to shoot bolts into the cement with a gun that used real gun powder. When I watched Scott at times doing his work, I could see he was in a mental zone. He was using his body, expertise, and knowledge of tools to make things work together to create a masterpiece. The partition-wall was intricate with a ledge for drinks and different types of cool looking things all over it. Watching him work, I got to see inside of Scott something that literally came from God. It was his heart’s desire to use his mind and body in the way God had created Him. In a certain way, it was like I got to see God at work. I look back and think about how Jesus was probably in the same zone with his mind and body when He was doing His wood work and carpentry back in Galilee.
On my part, I could care less about wood working, tools, gadgets, and building stuff. I love to watch people like Scott do their stuff, because I see God inside of them, but that isn’t what makes me tick. I’m living in the world of ideas all the time. I hear people tell me stories about their lives and I’m thinking about their lives as part of a grand story being told. I’m thinking about what words I can use to affirm them, so they can know who they really are. I’m thinking about the next blog entry I can write to express what I’ve seen in them. In addition to my world of stories, I also like to teach because it is another avenue to express my creativity in the activities I put together for my ESL students. A simple lecture isn’t enough. I have to help them get into contact with one another relationally, talking to each other in English and accomplishing some sort of task. Whether I’m teaching or storytelling, the intertwining thread is always the beauty I see in relationships and their interconnections. Jesus, of course, also had this same desire. He gathered a band of disciples, taught them lots of things, put them into relationships with one another, and sent them out to connect in even more relationships outside of their group. This all became part of a grand story that has been told for centuries.
You on the other hand, might not identify with either me or my friend Scott. You might get in the zone when you’re doing an act of service, setting appointments, or organizing things. Maybe you feel alive when you’re swimming, cycling, running, rock climbing, or hiking. Running a business, supporting visionaries, hanging out with friends, painting, or decorating/interior design might resonate with you. Whatever it is that you love to do (apart from addictions), make sure you do it often, do it well, and do it without reservation.
Do it because when we see you doing your thing, we get to see a piece of you that God made inside of you. Moreover, we get to see God inside of you. We get to connect with Him in this way. Do you see that it isn’t just for you?
The Incarnate God Himself, Jesus, displayed lots of interests and things He liked to do for fun, work, purpose, and experience. Think about it. He was a carpenter; a wood worker of sorts. I have a friend named Scott who does interior/exterior remodeling. I helped him build an interior, half-sized wall used as a partition in a restaurant bar and grill. We loaded an amazing array of detailed and meticulously purchased sets of materials into a U Haul we brought to the restaurant. I watched him as he measured out all the lengths and we used nuts and bolts and nail gun this and nail gun that. We even got to shoot bolts into the cement with a gun that used real gun powder. When I watched Scott at times doing his work, I could see he was in a mental zone. He was using his body, expertise, and knowledge of tools to make things work together to create a masterpiece. The partition-wall was intricate with a ledge for drinks and different types of cool looking things all over it. Watching him work, I got to see inside of Scott something that literally came from God. It was his heart’s desire to use his mind and body in the way God had created Him. In a certain way, it was like I got to see God at work. I look back and think about how Jesus was probably in the same zone with his mind and body when He was doing His wood work and carpentry back in Galilee.
On my part, I could care less about wood working, tools, gadgets, and building stuff. I love to watch people like Scott do their stuff, because I see God inside of them, but that isn’t what makes me tick. I’m living in the world of ideas all the time. I hear people tell me stories about their lives and I’m thinking about their lives as part of a grand story being told. I’m thinking about what words I can use to affirm them, so they can know who they really are. I’m thinking about the next blog entry I can write to express what I’ve seen in them. In addition to my world of stories, I also like to teach because it is another avenue to express my creativity in the activities I put together for my ESL students. A simple lecture isn’t enough. I have to help them get into contact with one another relationally, talking to each other in English and accomplishing some sort of task. Whether I’m teaching or storytelling, the intertwining thread is always the beauty I see in relationships and their interconnections. Jesus, of course, also had this same desire. He gathered a band of disciples, taught them lots of things, put them into relationships with one another, and sent them out to connect in even more relationships outside of their group. This all became part of a grand story that has been told for centuries.
You on the other hand, might not identify with either me or my friend Scott. You might get in the zone when you’re doing an act of service, setting appointments, or organizing things. Maybe you feel alive when you’re swimming, cycling, running, rock climbing, or hiking. Running a business, supporting visionaries, hanging out with friends, painting, or decorating/interior design might resonate with you. Whatever it is that you love to do (apart from addictions), make sure you do it often, do it well, and do it without reservation.
Do it because when we see you doing your thing, we get to see a piece of you that God made inside of you. Moreover, we get to see God inside of you. We get to connect with Him in this way. Do you see that it isn’t just for you?
Monday, June 1, 2009
Addressing Legalism (Part VIII): Forsaking Legalism and Finding the Truth Tellers
Your life is dramatic because you probably ask one of two questions: (1) Do I have what takes?* Or, (2) Will I be abandoned?** These two questions dramatize your life because there are voices (real and imagined) that tell you the outcome is in question. Because your sanity and very eternal life is at stake, your life is truly dramatic in a way that movies and novels can never compare. There is a resolution, but it is the exact opposite of what movies and novels often portray.
The problem with movies and novels is they never tell stories that ring true in real life. They are idealized. Real life is messy and often resolutions to conflict and human needs never seem to come, or at least they don't according to our desired outcomes. This is primarily because we don’t know how to move forward in our real life stories. We have so many self-destructive patterns growing up in our families, schools, churches, mosques, and synagogues; not to mention media and marketing which is part of the whole mix. All of these negative coping mechanisms, both religious and non-religious, are human made behavior-rules which forms a concept that we call legalism. The written and unwritten rules of legalism in various sub-cultures most often oppose God instead of pointing us towards Him.
There are two primary things Jesus did in his life that we should also follow. First, he forsook legalism. This means He condemned it. We should do the same. Sometimes this means actively fighting against the rules of legalists and sometimes it means leaving the legalists behind. Jesus called out the outlandish thinking of the Pharasees and the Teachers of the Law right in front of groups of people. They were embarrassed. I don’t propose always doing this, nor does it work all that often. But, sometimes, Jesus was so angry and wanted those around Him to know how stupid these rules for human behavior were that He confonted the Teachers of the Law right in front of everyone else. I don’t think He really did this because He thought it most effective to convince the Teachers of the Law to come over to His side of love and acceptance (although some did); it was more so those around Him could see how ridiculous their ideas were in the light of love. He was protecting the crowds, His followers, and those Pharasees and Teachers of the Law who did hear His voice from rules which would destroy their souls. I also think it was just a response of His anger and He wasn’t the sort of person to with-hold His feelings. He wore no masks. To the legalists, this exposure was unsafe. To the repentent person, this exposure was scary but liberating.
Most often, Jesus actually left the legalists alone and moved to places where He could provide safe zones for his friends and followers. He wanted them to come into His Room of Grace*** (i.e. the Kingdom of God) where He could speak tenderly and frankly to them about God's rules. Basically, God’s rules are that we love each other, which primarily means meeting other’s needs (in a healthy, boundary setting way) while also resolving conflict, which is also a need. It requires vulnerabilty and allowing others to meet our needs, as well. Legalists, on the other hand, create human defined rules which deny our needs and sweep conflict underneath the carpet, instead of dealing with it. These are the kinds of people we need to avoid for our primary sources of support.
There is also a strange sense in which we have to divorce ourselves from the legalism in our own hearts. This is actually the main problem. We can point fingers at the legalists or we can acknowledge we are the very ones who are part of the problem. What I'm trying to say is that at some level, we really are the legalists we are trying to run away from. We grow up with the unwritten rules of human behavior which point us away from God and we perpetuate these rules in our heart. Trying to break free of the legalism in our own hearts is like a dog trying to teach itself new tricks. It just doesn’t work. That brings us to the next part.
In addition to forsaking legalism by confronting it or leaving it, we must also find those who can offer us Rooms of Grace (i.e. The Kingdom of God) where we can find healing. These are people who tell us the truth about who we really are. They tell us that God has chosen us as His beloved children and that He isn’t going anywhere. They tell us that God fought for us, died for us, and has put a new nature in us. They affirm us. They speak the words of God to us. They tell us they love us. It is literally impossible to pull ourselves out of legalism and affirm ourselves from our own hearts. It has to come from others who tell us the truth about who God declares us to be--His beloved child.****
This morning a friend of mine ran into me at Starbucks before church. I didn’t see him because he came up to me from behind. He surprised me by grabbing hold of my shoulders from behind, giving me a guy style shoulder massage (whatever that means) for five or six seconds and then revealing who he was. We smiled at each other. We were excited to see each other, and he re-introduced his wife to me. After talking a minute or two, he said, “Steven, I’m blessed. I’m blessed to have seen you and run into you this morning.” Because I feel no judgment from this person and feel safe with him, I was able to easily accept his affirmation. In that moment, there was an emotional connection we experienced together as human beings, a kind that men don’t experience very often. Additionally, he did something else even deeper in that moment. He conveyed to me a sense of my identity. It was as if God Himself had said, “Steven, I’m blessed. I’m blessed to have seen you and run into you this morning.” Is that not the deepest desire of our hearts? To hear God say “I’m glad I ran into you this morning.” It sounds ludicrous, but that’s exactly what God did do to me.
What happened this morning to me illustrates the rule of God, which is to love one another. There was no judgment. There were no human-made rules. There was simple affirmation and a connection. This is ultimately the way to fight legalism, and to eradicate it. When we follow Jesus into heaven upon our deaths, we will see the ultimate destruction of all human-made rules and we will love each other without inhibition. The legalists, including my old nature, will not be there. You’ll get to know the real me, and I will get to know the real you. The main question is: Have you left legalism (especially that in your own heart) and have you found others who deeply desire to tell you who God declares you to be? If not, you gotta go find them.
This is how the dramatic questions to your life are resolved. (1) Do you have what it takes? Yes. (2) Will you be abandoned? No. Why? God already declares you to be the one He wants for eternity. You already have what it takes. You are wanted and will never be abandoned. He fought for you and died for you at the cross. Do you believe this? If so, then you can finally begin living. If you don't believe this, then it is your responsibility to find those who can tell you these truths.
__________________________________
*Question taken from Wild at Heart by John Eldridge
**Question taken from Captivating by John and Staci Eldridge
***The Room of Grace is a term used at Open Door Fellowship in Phoenix. I like to use this term, because the Kingdom of God brings up so many images from our past that are incorrect and never the way God intended the Kingdom to be portrayed. Talking about the Room of Grace sounds more refreshing, I think.
****Idea taken from Life of the Beloved by Henri Nouwen
The problem with movies and novels is they never tell stories that ring true in real life. They are idealized. Real life is messy and often resolutions to conflict and human needs never seem to come, or at least they don't according to our desired outcomes. This is primarily because we don’t know how to move forward in our real life stories. We have so many self-destructive patterns growing up in our families, schools, churches, mosques, and synagogues; not to mention media and marketing which is part of the whole mix. All of these negative coping mechanisms, both religious and non-religious, are human made behavior-rules which forms a concept that we call legalism. The written and unwritten rules of legalism in various sub-cultures most often oppose God instead of pointing us towards Him.
There are two primary things Jesus did in his life that we should also follow. First, he forsook legalism. This means He condemned it. We should do the same. Sometimes this means actively fighting against the rules of legalists and sometimes it means leaving the legalists behind. Jesus called out the outlandish thinking of the Pharasees and the Teachers of the Law right in front of groups of people. They were embarrassed. I don’t propose always doing this, nor does it work all that often. But, sometimes, Jesus was so angry and wanted those around Him to know how stupid these rules for human behavior were that He confonted the Teachers of the Law right in front of everyone else. I don’t think He really did this because He thought it most effective to convince the Teachers of the Law to come over to His side of love and acceptance (although some did); it was more so those around Him could see how ridiculous their ideas were in the light of love. He was protecting the crowds, His followers, and those Pharasees and Teachers of the Law who did hear His voice from rules which would destroy their souls. I also think it was just a response of His anger and He wasn’t the sort of person to with-hold His feelings. He wore no masks. To the legalists, this exposure was unsafe. To the repentent person, this exposure was scary but liberating.
Most often, Jesus actually left the legalists alone and moved to places where He could provide safe zones for his friends and followers. He wanted them to come into His Room of Grace*** (i.e. the Kingdom of God) where He could speak tenderly and frankly to them about God's rules. Basically, God’s rules are that we love each other, which primarily means meeting other’s needs (in a healthy, boundary setting way) while also resolving conflict, which is also a need. It requires vulnerabilty and allowing others to meet our needs, as well. Legalists, on the other hand, create human defined rules which deny our needs and sweep conflict underneath the carpet, instead of dealing with it. These are the kinds of people we need to avoid for our primary sources of support.
There is also a strange sense in which we have to divorce ourselves from the legalism in our own hearts. This is actually the main problem. We can point fingers at the legalists or we can acknowledge we are the very ones who are part of the problem. What I'm trying to say is that at some level, we really are the legalists we are trying to run away from. We grow up with the unwritten rules of human behavior which point us away from God and we perpetuate these rules in our heart. Trying to break free of the legalism in our own hearts is like a dog trying to teach itself new tricks. It just doesn’t work. That brings us to the next part.
In addition to forsaking legalism by confronting it or leaving it, we must also find those who can offer us Rooms of Grace (i.e. The Kingdom of God) where we can find healing. These are people who tell us the truth about who we really are. They tell us that God has chosen us as His beloved children and that He isn’t going anywhere. They tell us that God fought for us, died for us, and has put a new nature in us. They affirm us. They speak the words of God to us. They tell us they love us. It is literally impossible to pull ourselves out of legalism and affirm ourselves from our own hearts. It has to come from others who tell us the truth about who God declares us to be--His beloved child.****
This morning a friend of mine ran into me at Starbucks before church. I didn’t see him because he came up to me from behind. He surprised me by grabbing hold of my shoulders from behind, giving me a guy style shoulder massage (whatever that means) for five or six seconds and then revealing who he was. We smiled at each other. We were excited to see each other, and he re-introduced his wife to me. After talking a minute or two, he said, “Steven, I’m blessed. I’m blessed to have seen you and run into you this morning.” Because I feel no judgment from this person and feel safe with him, I was able to easily accept his affirmation. In that moment, there was an emotional connection we experienced together as human beings, a kind that men don’t experience very often. Additionally, he did something else even deeper in that moment. He conveyed to me a sense of my identity. It was as if God Himself had said, “Steven, I’m blessed. I’m blessed to have seen you and run into you this morning.” Is that not the deepest desire of our hearts? To hear God say “I’m glad I ran into you this morning.” It sounds ludicrous, but that’s exactly what God did do to me.
What happened this morning to me illustrates the rule of God, which is to love one another. There was no judgment. There were no human-made rules. There was simple affirmation and a connection. This is ultimately the way to fight legalism, and to eradicate it. When we follow Jesus into heaven upon our deaths, we will see the ultimate destruction of all human-made rules and we will love each other without inhibition. The legalists, including my old nature, will not be there. You’ll get to know the real me, and I will get to know the real you. The main question is: Have you left legalism (especially that in your own heart) and have you found others who deeply desire to tell you who God declares you to be? If not, you gotta go find them.
This is how the dramatic questions to your life are resolved. (1) Do you have what it takes? Yes. (2) Will you be abandoned? No. Why? God already declares you to be the one He wants for eternity. You already have what it takes. You are wanted and will never be abandoned. He fought for you and died for you at the cross. Do you believe this? If so, then you can finally begin living. If you don't believe this, then it is your responsibility to find those who can tell you these truths.
__________________________________
*Question taken from Wild at Heart by John Eldridge
**Question taken from Captivating by John and Staci Eldridge
***The Room of Grace is a term used at Open Door Fellowship in Phoenix. I like to use this term, because the Kingdom of God brings up so many images from our past that are incorrect and never the way God intended the Kingdom to be portrayed. Talking about the Room of Grace sounds more refreshing, I think.
****Idea taken from Life of the Beloved by Henri Nouwen
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