Empty Hands

I took karate in the 80's back when Ralph Macchio was the "Karate Kid" of 1984 and Bananarama dominated the sound track with "Cruel Summer". Anyway, that's besides the point. This is a serious blog entry, but I couldn't help reminiscing a little.

The style or system of karate I took was called American Kenpo. The originator of this system was a guy named Ed Parker. He rubbed elbows with Bruce Lee and gave karate lessons to famous people such as Elvis Presley.

In 1957, he wrote a creed - his personal thoughts on how his system of karate should operate in the minds of his students. As an adolescent, I was required to memorize the creed and recite it each time I took a test to pass to the next belt level.

Here it is:

"I come to you with only karate, empty hands. I have no weapons, but should I be forced to defend myself, my principles or my honor; should it be a matter of life or death, of right or wrong; then here are my weapons, karate, my empty hands."

This morning as I was walking down Mill Avenue to pick up coffee before work, I thought of the many different difficult situations in my life right now, be they small or large ones. I thought about how I relate to people, how I avoid conflict, how I put things off, or how I hide in various ways or another. Then I thought about ways in which I've grown, ways in which I've spoken when I didn't want to speak, waited when I didn't want to wait, and acted when I didn't want to act.

That is when this creed from my childhood percolated into my mind. "I come to you with empty hands...here are my weapons...my empty hands."

There are about six actions I can really think of that we need to do in relationships: listen, speak, wait, act, feel, and repair. These are our weapons - the weapons of love. These are our weapons - our empty hands.

One of the problems is that when we choose to use the weapons God has given us instead of what we might perceive to be "better weapons", we feel naked. We feel exposed. We feel inadequate. We feel unsafe. We feel "unarmed". We feel like we need a weapon to hold onto, but only our empty hands remain. We only have our "self" - our very self is the weapon of love that God has given us. But, we don't feel like our "self" is enough. So, what do we do? We look for weapons that can make us stronger than those around us. Well, the problem is that we don't have any other weapons than what we've got, so our ongoing attempt has been to exagerate or over express only one or two of the ones we have. Maybe you speak and act, but don't listen or feel or repair, and so forth.

You know these people and you and I are one of them. People who listen and wait over and over again but will never speak or act. It is their weapon. It is how they keep you out. They will hear your heart, but they will never let you see theirs. Others speak and act, but never listen or wait. They bulldoze over anyone who gets in their way. It is also their weapon of choice. They don't ever get known or know others. A third type of person listens and acts, but never speaks. A fourth type of person is always trying to repair situations, ones that don't even need repair, but they fail to ever truly act in a given situation. They're repairing over and over again. They're too busy repairing to let you in. Others refuse to begin the arduous task of tapping into their feelings, which they've shut off for years via addiction and/or the control of others. No one ever gets their heart either. Feelings are too dangerous to let loose - to risk exposure.

You get my point, I hope. We exaggerate one or two weapons all the time, in order to avoid using the ones that risk vulnerability - that risk and expose our hearts.

"I come to you with empty hands..." We speak up when we don't want to speak up. We let our voice be heard. We listen when we don't want to listen. We feel when we don't want to feel. We do these things when they are needed. Using our weapon of choice (in an over exaggerated way) makes us feel powerful and less exposed, but it also keeps us from knowing others and being known, the very thing we want and dread at the same time.

My weapons? Speaking. Listening. Waiting. Acting. Feeling. Repairing. When we do these at the appropriate time, instead of guaging whether or not we will win, then we will suffer wounds and pain. But we will also find our strength. Those around us feel the effects of our vulnerability and they are assaulted by the love of God. They take notice and feel the strength in our courage.

What if God Isn't Evil?

The question we gotta ask in some way and some day is
What if God isn’t evil?
And what if God isn’t evil
Then things that don’t make sense would make sense

Because sometimes it feels like a war
Because most often it is a war
And if you wanna go down the lonely road
Don’t call it a war
But call it something that was taken from you that you deserved

But the truth is that war doesn’t make sense
And truth and pain and senseless and silent murder don’t make sense
But in a war where nothing makes sense
The only thing that makes sense is that we’re in it

Maybe we’re in a war and God isn’t the evil one
Maybe we’re in a war
And we’re wounded and low on supplies and nothing seems to work right

Then it might be that God is on our side
That He’s got us in this war and it doesn’t make sense
And the only thing that makes sense is that God’s got us in this war
And we’re down in the trenches and hurting

He’s on our side but we’re disillusioned
And we don’t have friends all the time
And we have to wait and the winters are cold
But those in just wars know it’s good but don’t know the why of everything

We just have to fight

New Reality Fight Song

I took a trip down memory lane
Went back to before I was sane
The rest of the story is untold
What could’a happened will never be told

If I try to get back the wrongs I did
Try to turn back time - something invalid
A bunch of shame - lies that cost
You can never pay back because it costs

You gotta see what’s down below
A current of power - strong undertoe
The storms and waves - depravity
But deep down inside there is a new me

Put down all fake humility
Your strength and heart - reality
Don’t run from dreams - insanity
Take a torch for all - for all to see

Into the light here we come
We wanna live life - the kingdom come
Rap to a beat but don’t conform
Not the same as a need - a need to perform

Brothers and sisters we got for now
And a spirit we got that goes pow wow
You thought you had no worth for them
But Christ came and said you were - amen

If I could have it any other way
I wouldn’t have it any other way
New chapters are better any way
Forever and ever here to stay

In the end it’s nothing else but play
Go resist evil but only for play
Stay with your heart and your soul
Never hurt yourself but grow whole

Trust Him who calls from above
No anger because His name is love

Take a look at your life
Where you came from
It isn’t what you did
But who you came from

In the Wake of Eleven Baby Strollers

Yesterday, I was part of an experience in which Eleven Baby Strollers created an eye-catching and positively destructive wake*. The men in my Adult Sunday School took their kids to the zoo. A lot of fathers, but also a lot of married men without kids and then me - the older single. We had kids all over the place, 23 of them I think. Mainly we were just trying to keep them from getting lost. One of the guys had triplets and a fourth kid in a quad-stroller. A woman later asked me if his stroller was custom-made. I don't know - but it was a butt load of kids.

One of the things about the zoo is that there's a lot of moms out there with their kids, but not a lot of dads or father figures. I mean, there's men and women partners/married couples, but there's not a lot of fathers or father figures out there with their kids. Needless to say, 20 men wondering around the zoo with 23 kids takes notice.

Two things happened that drew my attention. First, a zoo worker at the Wallaby Kangaroo station kept asking herself out loud if it was Father's Day. She was not kidding. She was seriously confused and thought she'd confused weekends**. Second, another woman came up to us and started asking us questions. "What are all of you men doing here?" This was the moment I realized that we really stuck out. We shared with her that we were from the same church and taking the kids out to the zoo. Then she commented about how we stuck out in a good way and she just had to know what was going on.

I wanna say two things here. First, I am struck by how men acting like men can create such a wake in such a place as the zoo. And, I will even say that there was something happening that was Biblical and that people were drawn to us in a similar way that they were drawn to Jesus back in the day. I mean, we weren't doing miracles and all that stuff, but people were drawn to us and they were drawn to the source of our strong, yet tender manhood. This is what people were drawn to in Jesus. Second, I'd like to say that I don't care if you believe in Jesus or not. Go out and get your friends. Get those who are fathers and your male friends who are married or single and without children. Take them out. Go to the zoo. Take Eleven Baby Stollers. It is a great thing to do for you, your friends, and your/their kids.***

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*A "wake" is the waves that are created when a speed boat or ship drive through the water. Everyone to either side of you gets hit by the waves and you take notice of the boat that has just driven by.

**Father's Day is June 19th, but this story occurred on June 11th.

***To Christians - please never use this as some sort of plot to evangelize those who ask you why you are there. This is using your friends and their kids. They will feel used and it would be a wound you gave them.

Dr. Seuss

"Be who you are & say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss