Empty Hands

I took karate in the 80's back when Ralph Macchio was the "Karate Kid" of 1984 and Bananarama dominated the sound track with "Cruel Summer". Anyway, that's besides the point. This is a serious blog entry, but I couldn't help reminiscing a little.

The style or system of karate I took was called American Kenpo. The originator of this system was a guy named Ed Parker. He rubbed elbows with Bruce Lee and gave karate lessons to famous people such as Elvis Presley.

In 1957, he wrote a creed - his personal thoughts on how his system of karate should operate in the minds of his students. As an adolescent, I was required to memorize the creed and recite it each time I took a test to pass to the next belt level.

Here it is:

"I come to you with only karate, empty hands. I have no weapons, but should I be forced to defend myself, my principles or my honor; should it be a matter of life or death, of right or wrong; then here are my weapons, karate, my empty hands."

This morning as I was walking down Mill Avenue to pick up coffee before work, I thought of the many different difficult situations in my life right now, be they small or large ones. I thought about how I relate to people, how I avoid conflict, how I put things off, or how I hide in various ways or another. Then I thought about ways in which I've grown, ways in which I've spoken when I didn't want to speak, waited when I didn't want to wait, and acted when I didn't want to act.

That is when this creed from my childhood percolated into my mind. "I come to you with empty hands...here are my weapons...my empty hands."

There are about six actions I can really think of that we need to do in relationships: listen, speak, wait, act, feel, and repair. These are our weapons - the weapons of love. These are our weapons - our empty hands.

One of the problems is that when we choose to use the weapons God has given us instead of what we might perceive to be "better weapons", we feel naked. We feel exposed. We feel inadequate. We feel unsafe. We feel "unarmed". We feel like we need a weapon to hold onto, but only our empty hands remain. We only have our "self" - our very self is the weapon of love that God has given us. But, we don't feel like our "self" is enough. So, what do we do? We look for weapons that can make us stronger than those around us. Well, the problem is that we don't have any other weapons than what we've got, so our ongoing attempt has been to exagerate or over express only one or two of the ones we have. Maybe you speak and act, but don't listen or feel or repair, and so forth.

You know these people and you and I are one of them. People who listen and wait over and over again but will never speak or act. It is their weapon. It is how they keep you out. They will hear your heart, but they will never let you see theirs. Others speak and act, but never listen or wait. They bulldoze over anyone who gets in their way. It is also their weapon of choice. They don't ever get known or know others. A third type of person listens and acts, but never speaks. A fourth type of person is always trying to repair situations, ones that don't even need repair, but they fail to ever truly act in a given situation. They're repairing over and over again. They're too busy repairing to let you in. Others refuse to begin the arduous task of tapping into their feelings, which they've shut off for years via addiction and/or the control of others. No one ever gets their heart either. Feelings are too dangerous to let loose - to risk exposure.

You get my point, I hope. We exaggerate one or two weapons all the time, in order to avoid using the ones that risk vulnerability - that risk and expose our hearts.

"I come to you with empty hands..." We speak up when we don't want to speak up. We let our voice be heard. We listen when we don't want to listen. We feel when we don't want to feel. We do these things when they are needed. Using our weapon of choice (in an over exaggerated way) makes us feel powerful and less exposed, but it also keeps us from knowing others and being known, the very thing we want and dread at the same time.

My weapons? Speaking. Listening. Waiting. Acting. Feeling. Repairing. When we do these at the appropriate time, instead of guaging whether or not we will win, then we will suffer wounds and pain. But we will also find our strength. Those around us feel the effects of our vulnerability and they are assaulted by the love of God. They take notice and feel the strength in our courage.