Dropping the F-bomb

I'm sitting here at Lux Coffee House and a nice, attractive woman working behind the bar drops the F-bomb. Why do I smile? I feel a little embarrassed or awkward. Isn't that interesting? Someone else drops the F-bomb and I smile. Just feels out of place.

Why?

I think it's because I grew up in environments where young women weren't supposed to do that sort of thing. Then, I got to college and women in my dorm were dropping the F-bomb like it was going out of style, especially those from Jersey and New York. During that time, I was also in a religious student organization where women didn't drop the F-bomb. Half F-bomb, half no-F-bomb.

I have a confession to make. I drop the F-bomb. Yes. I know. You thought it wasn't true. And, for those of you who've never heard me drop the F-bomb before, it's because it's a special word I use, and only use in one relationship. Yep. You got it. I only use the F-bomb in prayer.

The F-bomb is great for voicing my feelings and simply means "I'm really, really frustrated right now." These are sacred words I only use in prayer. I know it sounds crazy, but this is just the way it is. For me, there is no judgement in prayer. I can say anything.

My friend behind the bar wasn't dropping the F-bomb out of frustration. She was just being herself. I find myself smiling with a little sense of embarrassment because I've been entrenched in such conservative circles for so long. I'm not planning on dropping the F-bomb in public any time soon. I guess I don't really feel the need to, just like someone who drops the F-bomb more than drinking water probably doesn't feel the need to stop doing so. Why would they change? Why would I change. No need to do so really.

The major question is: What's the state of your heart behind dropping the F-bomb or holding back from dropping the F-bomb? The more important questions behind dropping or refraining from dropping the F-bomb might be as follows:

Do you still think life would be better if "he" would figure things out or "she" would stop acting that way? Do you still think things would be better if people just listened to you? Do you find yourself in mental arguments more often than not while doing tedious tasks or during free time? Is there lots of fear and anxiety and you aren't getting the help you need to deal with it?

Or, do you find yourself content? Do you understand which things in life are your responsibility and which things aren't your responsibility? Do you find moments or even longer periods of time where you'd say, "I feel at peace right now."? Do you find those times of peace even in the middle of difficult circumstances? You feel anger, sadness, and sometimes fear, but peace is in the middle of lots of those emotions.

These are the more important questions behind the F-bomb.

Finally, one more thing. If you have this nagging sensation that your heart is sitting on the negative side of things, there is no way you can get it over to the positive side*. And, if you have this sense that your heart is sitting on the positive side of things, there is no way you can keep it over on that positive side by yourself. Those on the negative side can only get to the positive side with the help of a healthy set of "others" in their life. Those on the positive side, if they really think about it, they'll realize that it was never them in the first place. They will realize that it was a positive, healthy set of "others" in their lives that gave them the freedom to live in a positive mindset in the first place.

So, whether you're on the negative or positive side of dropping the F-bomb, you'll ways need others in your life who can help draw you into the positive. You, in turn, will help them do the same thing, F-bomb or no-F-bomb. Making ourselves better isn't our responsibility, or even realistic. Finding a healthy set of "others" where we can rest and get better is our responsibility.

The real question is: Do you have a healthy set of "others" in your life?

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*An idea I borrow from Travis Stewart backed by my experience and my observations of those around me.