Mark Twain on Right Conduct

Laws control the lesser man. Right conduct controls the greater one. - Mark Twain

Doing Good
This quote from Twain reminds me of a change that occurred in my heart last year. When I started dating my fiancee, I asked God to help me to have a desire to do good to her.  This was different from my previous ways of thinking. I mainly used to try to keep away from bad stuff and try to do good stuff in order to make sure that no one was angry with me. That's what it means to "follow the law" as Twain speaks of.  But with my fiancee, something had changed. I asked God to help me to do good, simply for the sake of doing good.  Not to keep her happy, but to do good to her.  This is what Twain means by "right conduct".  I call it "doing-good".  Doing good simply to do good to your spouse or others is a change in mindset that can restore a marriage or keep a good marriage healthy.

Nice Guys and Bad Asses: The Search for Caring yet Effective Men
One point of clarification: doing good to someone doesn't mean they are always happy with you, especially in the short term. Nice guys finish last because they are ineffective, not because they are nice. Unfortunately, many women fall for bad asses, not because they truly want a bad ass, but because they are looking for men who are effective at loving them. Overly nice guys are ineffective yet caring.  Bad asses are effective, yet uncompassionate.  Men, what they are looking for is someone who is compassionate, yet effective. You need to stand your ground in your love. Giving in to what someone else wants isn't always the best way to love. Doing good is. Somehow, there is a balance between standing our ground by being our true selves and yet at the same time learning how to give up control and enter things we feel uncomfortable with at times. This interplay of holding boundaries at times and expanding them at times is messy and scary, but it is a road worth going down.  Doing-good requires both.  A man who does so is a caring, yet effective.

Results
I believe right-conduct or doing-good starts at the core with our spouse or partner, but it goes beyond that relationship into our lives with others and the community at large. We don't need the law to keep us in line. We want to do good to others simply for the sake of doing good to others. I actually have felt more close to God than ever before because I think that in doing-good for no other motivation than to do good is sort of what it is like to be God.  Thus, I believe He has helped me to identify more with Him as He has awakened me to emulating Him.