The verb “to feel” means two different things: (1) the sensation created by physically “touching” something. (2) the internal sensation created by “relating” to something. Us to people. Us to the world. Us to hormones. Us to circumstances and life events. Interesting the same verb is used both to describe the physical and relational aspects of our experiences.
Metaphorically, to feel an emotion means to “touch” those things and people we "relate to", similar to a child touching the cool grass, the heat of fire, or the soft coat of a Golden Retriever. “To feel” means to use our relational tentacles. We can’t experience the sensation of our relationships without them.
In the church, I've often heard people say that they shouldn't have certain types of emotions like anger or jealousy. They really get down on themselves for having such emotions. I myself have been one of them. However, this is ridculous. This sort of person might as well tell me they should deny food which tastes bad because he or she doesn't want to offend the chef. The reality is that the food tastes good or bad. Period. If emotions are truly how we "feel" relationships and "feel" the circumstances of life, then a person who says they should not have certain emotions is saying that they only want to be connected to certain aspects of people and certain aspects of life. To me, this sounds like someone who wants to disconnect from life because it is too painful. The reality is that we need to set our emotions free from constraint, but act upon those emotions in healthy and appropriate ways.
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