Flat Tires and Impending Doom

My friends and I drove through Armarillo, Texas last week on our way to Tulsa. After a heavy breakfast at Cracker Barrel, a concerned woman rapped on our window in the parking lot, just as we were about to drive away. Our driver side, rear tire had lost most of its air during breakfast. My roommate drove us to a Shell gas station. After filling up the tire, he determined we had a leak in the valve stem. Another friend got on his GPS and found a Firestone nearby. We inched over to the shop only to find it unstaffed for the lunch hour. The remaining employee thought about it for a moment, then decided to fix the valve stem on his own time. He did the task in a short 20 minutes and the bill was only $12.50. He would’a been great in a nascar pit stop. Within 30 minutes of the original diagnosis, we were back on the racetrack.... I mean we were on the freeway, and on our way to Tulsa.

The woman who knocked on the door to warn us of our near-flat tire could have chosen to ignore the situation, hoping we’d discover the problem on our own, before it was too late. Likewise, in our day-to-day lives there are times when we can warn someone quickly that what they’re doing might end up hurting them or others in the long run. In return, shouldn’t we desire to be lovingly warned (without condemnation) of our own self-destructive behaviors before it was too late?

Unfortunately, there’s a variety of reasons we don’t warn each other or receive each others’ warnings very well. We’re afraid. We’re embarrassed. We’re defensive. We don’t know what to say. It’s amazing because we can say, “Yes, please tell me that my tire is flat on the highway, but don’t tell me that I’m not being emotionally attentive to you when we’re together. Don’t tell me I’m treating my employees or co-workers unequally. Don’t tell me I often say yes to your requests, but that I don’t follow through on them very often.”

Failure to warn someone about something small, like a broken valve stem on their tire can lead to a quick and disastrous outcome within minutes. Failure to warn someone of their dysfunctional habits can lead to a slow and disastrous outcome that might take place over years or even decades. Let’s remember that love never tries to force anyone to do anything, but that it warns others about the things that are hurting us, those around them, or even themselves.