Bestowing Value

When someone else suffers for us, it demonstrates our value.

It might be something as significant as serving a loved one during their ten year bout with Alzheimer's until their death. It might be epic such as those who gave their own time and even died to save Jews during Hitler's tyranny or African Americans in the underground railroad. It might be more common like a mother and father who suffer sleep deprivation during a colicky infant's first few months of life.

When someone else suffers for us, it demonstrates our value.

No, let's take it further. Let's look at Ephesians 3:13. In his letter to the Ephesians*, Paul says, "I ask you, therefore, do not be discouraged because of my sufferings for you, which are your glory." Paul uses the word "glory" which is the same Greek word that is used to talk about Christ's coming (Matt 24:30, Mark 8:38, Mark 13: 26) and a number of other places in the New Testament to talk about the glory of God. It's the same word. It is a general word that means opinion or judgement, or view, but it is always used in a positive way in the New Testament**.

When someone else suffers for us, it demonstrates our glory. It demonstrates our dignity. It demonstrates our God given image.

So often, when someone suffers for us, we feel embarrassed to receive that type of praise from another person. We lower our eyes. We say, "I'm sorry you had to do that for me." This is why Paul had to say such a thing to the Ephesians. Paul had a difficult life because of his ministry. Accusations, shipwrecks, near death experiences, and finally house arrest. He suffered for people like the Ephesians. They knew it.

Paul told them, "Don't be discouraged that I suffer for you. It reveals your glory." His suffering revealed their dignity and God-given image. Paul knew they'd shy away from receiving such praise. He wanted to tell them that it's okay to receive sacrificial service from another person, including him, because by accepting such service they acknowledge the dignity and value God has placed in them as his creatures. And, in reality, that means they are accepting a gift from God. Receiving gifts from God unreservedly is one of our greatest forms of worship.

In our own lives, we are tempted to downplay the sufferings of others on our behalf. Do not reject such suffering, we are told. We are valuable and worth receiving such glory. This isn't because you've done something to earn such glory. It is simply because God has decided you are so valuable and worth everything to Him. Do not be discouraged that He suffered an eternity in hell on your behalf, shrunk up in a little ball of bitterness and putrid thoughts of contempt towards everyone and everything. Your value is demonstrated through his sacrifice.

He is all the more glorious for pouring His value into us through suffering.

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*The Ephesians were a group of people from one of the earliest churches in Ephesus, which is located in modern day Turkey.

**Blue Letter Bible. "Dictionary and Word Search for doxa (Strong's 1391)". Blue Letter Bible. 1996-2010. 30 Dec 2010.

Above and Beyond All Pain, Shame, Comfort, and Happiness

I don't want to get away from anger, shame, jealousy, resentment, and fear if it takes me away from God. I don't want to enter happiness, joy, relaxation, and comfort unless I find Him there.

So many of us (including me) hold happiness, joy, relaxation, and comfort to be the highest commodities. We just want someone or something to take away the pain. The reality is that sadness is the emotion we often are running from most. But even sadness isn't the highest commodity, even if it is the truer emotion we suppress with resentment and bitterness.

The bigger question I want to know above and beyond all pain, shame, comfort, and happiness is this: Are you there God? I want to know if God is there in the middle of it. That is all I want to know. If God is there, then I can fight in the trenches of World War I, endure a spouse who leaves me, fail on my end in a relationship, or survive an insult that threatens my masculinity or my femininity. These things will break me - yes they will break us - we can't get away from that fact - they will break us, but what I really want to know is if God is there in the middle of it. Does God care? Does God have tears when I am breaking apart? Does God smile when I hit a home run?

If God fights alongside me, if he cries and laughs with me, then this is all I want to know. This is all that matters. Everything else comes second.

Rage and Worship

When I rage against God in my journal and ask all of the horrible and awful questions about the deep pain and agony in my life and the world, I find myself close to God. I look down at the ink on the paper and I realize that those words are to God, and that is where the worship lies. No matter what I write, good or evil, those words are to Him. This is the basis of all psalms, whether personal or inspired. We write to God. It is worship.

Unconditional Love and the Heart of Change

I'd like to spotlight an artist I've recently run into. Here are two videos I think hit the gospel right on. The first video highlights God's unconditional love. The second video highlights the heart of changing in the light of that unconditional love.

What Love Really Means

Only Love Remains

The Preservation of Ancient Documents

Interesting thing about Western culture is if you produce a movie about hidden messages and obscure historical references, miraculously and meticulously preserved throughout the ages and used to solve a modern day crime, then audiences find it fascinating. But, then there's the Bible. It might be such a thing, but often prematurely dismissed as possibly being the very thing we've been scripting about all along.

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*These were some of my thoughts while listening to a sermon by James Waddel.

If I could write a book about anything

If I could write any book*, it would be about how a simple carpenter saved an entire population of people from destruction. Somewhat mysterious to keep the reader interested. Superhero powers beyond measure, but he'd never show off. He'd simply use them because he had them. His character and love would transcend his power, thus putting power in its rightful place - submitted to love - the definition of meekness.**
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*I'm being rhetorical of course, since it's already been written:)
**I credit this definition of meekness to Joshua Ashurst. Where he got it from, I have no idea.

We Don't Have the Authority to Judge Ourselves

We spend a lot of time evaluating ourselves in light of our performance in this world, in our professions, and in our families. Yet, this is contrary to the gospel. The good news is that not only shouldn't we judge ourselves for our performance, but we don't even have the authority to judge ourselves.* That authority never belonged to us in the first place. The moment we judge our performance in the light of others is the moment we remain in a cycle of shame that will never end. It is us trying to play God.

St. Paul says this in 1 Corinthians 4:

1. I do not judge myself in regards to others.

2. My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent.

3. We should judge nothing until the appointed time. We should wait until the Lord comes, and this is when He will judge us.

4. In the end, He will praise me. This is his judgement. (Sounds arrogant, but it isn't. Here's why:)

In light of the fact that all sin has been atoned for and that we will stand before God having been completely transformed into God-like creatures upon our death, His judgement will be praise. We'll be our true and wonderful selves in that moment. There will be a judgement, but we will be declared righteous. So, as St. Paul says, my recommendation is to wait for judgement until the appointed time. Let Him judge you. In his judgement, He will praise you.

That being said, what do we do with ourselves in the present time? Won't this lead to a license for irresponsible living? A failure to help people, a failure to protect others through our own spiritual and healthy living, a failure to follow the design of God? The answer is that it could. The other answer is that it might not. The answer depends on the person's heart. A person who has a soft heart will be left with sadness in the absence of judgement. A person who has a hard heart will be left with emptiness and a nomadic spirit.

I know both.

Sadness, apart from judgement, brings the opportunity for hope and joy. As I'm sure I've read by either C.S. Lewis or Henri Nowen in the past, and can testify to myself at times, sadness and joy are closely linked. The true motive for sadness is compassion which comes from a heart generated by love. Sadness, therefore, which is connected to love is connected to God, which ultimately produces joy. They are like opposite sides of the same coin.

A person who judges oneself hides from the very thing that needs to be dealt with. They avoid the sadness they need so desperately not so much in light of how they've performed, but more importantly in the ways in which they have failed to love. Leaving judgement and moving back towards sadness is the way to get into contact with that love once again. This is the beauty of sadness over judgement.

Finally, a person who enters into sadness apart from judgement also begins to see their own acts of love in a new way. They are able to enjoy their own acts of love without feeling arrogant or self-righteous. They feel glorious, operating in alignment with God's design. Somehow, they praise their own actions with total humility. This is the absence of judgement. It is called happiness.

God, may we live in the light of your compassion, sadness, joy, and humility.

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*This idea is taken from Henry Rojas

**I'm indebted always to my conversations with Nick Vieron and Josh Ashurst in all of my writings. This blog reflects our conversations, not just my own thoughts. In that light, I cite 1 Pet 4:11, in which I can always be indebted to God for these very conversations.

***Finally, I do not even judge myself for this blog entry, which may or may not contain theological mistakes or lack of insight. I trust the Lord will guide whomever reads these words.

Playing God - A Type of Co-Dependency

Yesterday, I read a passage from Oswald Chambers, November 15th entry in "My Utmost for His Highest"*. In it, Chambers discusses how he moved from playing God to letting God play God. I've also gone through a similar process, even though I still fall into its trap from time to time. The Chambers entry is so good that I simply decided to copy and paste it below. I've taken it from http://www.myutmost.org/

NOV. 15th: WHAT IS THAT TO THEE? (O. Chambers)

"Lord, what shall this man do? . . What is that to thee? Follow thou Me." John 21:21,2

"One of our severest lessons comes from the stubborn refusal to see that we must not interfere in other people's lives. It takes a long time to realize the danger of being an amateur providence, that is, interfering with God's order for others. You see a certain person suffering, and you say - He shall not suffer, and I will see that he does not. You put your hand straight in front of God's permissive will to prevent it, and God says - "What is that to thee?" If there is stagnation spiritually, never allow it to go on, but get into God's presence and find out the reason for it. Possibly you will find it is because you have been interfering in the life of another; proposing things you had no right to propose; advising when you had no right to advise. When you do have to give advice to another, God will advise through you with the direct understanding of His Spirit; your part is to be so rightly related to God that His discernment comes through you all the time for the blessing of another soul."

In light of this message from Chambers, we must look at moving in this direction as a blessing and not as a way that we ought to get our act together. The gospel is that God wants us to let go of playing God in other people's lives but that this is a process. His shed blood covers us from all unrighteousness, even the very act of playing God. We are now free to try out new ways of living without the fear that God might reject us if we don't get it. The moment we recognize what we are doing and confess that to God is the moment the process has already begun. That is good news.

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*Chambers was a Scottish pastor born 1874; died 1917)

The Conversation of God

There is a depth of intimacy on God's side that goes way deeper than we are even aware of. As believers, we believe God dwells inside us. But what does this mean?

God tells us in Romans 8:26 that we don't really know what to pray for, but that the Holy Spirit is inside there interceding with groans for in ways we are unable to speak ourselves.

Oswald Chambers reflects on this verse*. He says that when God searches our hearts, He isn't searching for our conscious prayers, rather to find out what the prayers of the Holy Spirit are. Why? The answer is that the Holy Spirit cares way more about us than we do. He also knows what we really need and what our true desires are. He knows our design.

And this is what gets me. This is where the individual personalities of the Trinity make sense to me, even though they don't make sense to me. The tenderness of God is that He dwells inside of me. He knows everything. He knows the pain, he knows the junk, and he knows the dreams. In addition, He is continuously having this conversation with Himself, from Spirit to Father. It is something that looks like this:

The Father says, "Can you tell me what is wrong? What are his needs? What is his pain?" The Holy Spirit says, "Father, these are his pains, these are his self-destructive and other-destructive behaviors, these are his dreams. What is there that we can do for him? He is my beloved and he's in so much pain."

The idea that God dwells inside us can often feel so vague. We aren't aware of these conversations. To get a picture of what is going on in conversation among the Trinity look at how Jesus cares so tenderly for the downtrodden in the Gospels and you'll see how He feels about you, yet He lives inside of your heart.

The Holy Spirit, deep inside our innermost parts, is not dead. He is alive. He is emotional about us. He is continually talking with our Father about our sins, our joys, our fears, our dreams, and our desires. He is not without solutions. I know them. Believe me, I'm still messed up in a lot of ways, but I have hope because I've seen some of the results of these conversations. They take time, but I know some of them. I've seen some of it happen in me and others. I know God is having these sorts of conversations all the time. We are His joy.

The grace of God is that He dwells inside of us the moment we let Him and He never leaves. All of the sin has been atoned for through the cross. From one messed up person to another, let me remind you that He's now in the business of caring for us and always has been**. He's wrapped Himself up inside of us. This is who He is. This is His glory.

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*My Utmost for His Highest Nov. 8 entry

**Romans 5:8

The Humble are Found Bold in the War between Life and Death

The other day, I left a voicemail with a friend of mine to share about how isolated I felt and how I was coping with it in unhealthy ways. He returned the call with a message to my voicemail to remind me that God's desire was to be with me in those moments more than me getting my act together. In his voice email he treated me with dignity and respect.

This morning I sent the same friend an email. He replied to my email saying that he felt like he couldn't breathe, he felt so overwhelmed with work and life during the day. I was able to send him back a message reminding him that God had turned him into a new person, that he was doing better than he thought he was, and that God and his wife love him.

In Hebrews 3:13 it says, "Encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness."

In both situations, my friend and I were tempted to believe the lies that try to creep in our minds pretty much every day. These lies threaten to tear us apart, no matter how much we might wish we could manage them. Look at the next part of the verse.

Hebrews 3:13 "We have come to share in Christ if we hold firmly till the end the confidence we had at first."

The author is implying that these lies threaten to tear the very fabric of our hearts and minds apart. Destruction.

Let me tell you something. When our very sanity is what's on the line, there is no time to worry about our present state of "togetherness". There is not time to worry about whether or not we are good enough to give another person the encouragement that they need to get through the day. This is warfare and the enemy wants to take down whom he can take down. He knows he's losing. He's lashing out, trying to do what he can out of sheer bitterness and vengeance.

My friend and I have a destiny paved in perseverance, but we're talking about the here-and-now. Are we gonna live right now? We've got to. We've gotta tell each other the truths that we can't remember on our own. It doesn't matter what our state of mind. We have to move forward in acts of encouragement and bonding. We don't do it, hoping for something in return from the other. We do it because they need our words of encouragement to survive.

The humble are found bold in declaring the truth to fellow brothers and sisters. It isn't about waiting until our state of being seems to be better than normal before we encourage one another. It is about survival. To this end, our encouragement is what begins to heal us in the first place (1 Pet 4:11). It's about telling the next person the truth about who they really are and being vulnerable enough to let them in on our own lives for the sake of our own survival as well. Both encouraging and being encouraged require humble hearts.

Gratitude - Messed Up

There is a subtle difference between two lines of thinking. It is so subtle that many Christians have gotten caught up in this difference, albeit with very good intentions.

Check out these two different statements:

1. I want to glorify God out of a response of gratitude for what He has done for me.

2. I want to glorify God because that is who He has turned me into - one who wants to do this.

Do you see the difference?

The first statement, albeit very good intentions, is still very self-centered. It turns into, "Why am I not glorifying God? Why don't I have enough gratitude? I must not love Him enough." It still relies on a works based perception of the gospel.

The second statement has nothing to do with performance. It doesn't even talk about performance. It simply talks about where the desire comes from. It comes from God. The desire could be smaller than an electron, but it comes from God.

The first belief leads to a lifetime of frustration. Ironically, the second belief will ultimately lead to a life filled with gratitude for what He has done for us, the very thing belief #1 was trying to get at all along.

The Mustard Seed of Faith - God Living in Us

I think a lot of us want God to give us this divine trance-like state where we obey Him without thinking about it. The whole thing seems so difficult. Why won't He just make us do what He wants us to?

I don't have any answers to those questions.

However, there is something that I do know. There is something deep down inside of us that wants to do good and shun evil. As believers, it goes deeper than our dysfunctional flesh. It goes deeper than our messed up past. It is God. He lives inside of us now. Deep down inside, He's there. He's strong. He's powerful. He's got a heart. He's given it to us. He's raised us from the dead.

Oh, I know the bigger part of ourself feels like all we want to do is escape and run away from our lives and our problems. But, we have to believe the truth, which is that we all know that there is "something", I'm not even sure what to call it, but there is something deep down inside us that doesn't want to do all the sinful things we're used to doing. We don't want to go off on our spouse. We don't want to tell another half-truth. We don't want to take that next drink or joint. We all know there is something deep down that wants to get into healthy relationships and cast off those sorts of things. We may not have the power to do it, but we know the desire is deep down there, even if only a glimpse or a moment in time.

What we have to believe is that it is God in there. He's the one who has changed us into new creatures. The desire we have to do good and shun evil is real. It is ours. It is ours because God has given it to us. Every temptation that comes, we must remember that our deeper desire is to to cast it off because we have goodness to give to the world. It can feel so small sometimes, but we have to remember that even if it seems like such a small desire in the wake of the seemingly larger, dysfunctional patterns of the past that it is still real and it is who God has turned us into. God's heart inside us will win in the long run.

2 Corinthians 5:21

The Bounce in Our Step - An Indicator

The reason I don’t want to sin in the areas of unhealthy-escape is because when I do so, I lose the ability to be lighthearted and playful. I also lose the ability to mourn my own losses or the losses of others. I simply become numb to the world through escape.

God’s desire isn’t for us to stop lusting*, drugging, shopping-for-escape, eating-for-escape, working-for-escape, internet-for-escape, or game-for-escape, out of some sort of positive consequence in-and-of-themselves. Sure, there could be something to be said about trusting God even when we don't know what the reason, but let me contend that His primary concern is that these things strip away the bounce in our step. Our lightheartedness. Our playfulness. They also take away our abilities to grieve for us or those around us. They take away the beauty and strength we have for those around us. They take away our ability to enjoy Him or mourn with Him. We simply become numb to ourselves and those around us.

Romans 12:15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.

The primary way to rejoice and mourn isn’t to try to stop the sin of unhealthy escapes. The primary way to stop this type of sin is to enter into healthy relationships with safe people who understand the destructiveness of such behavior and are helping each other to leave such behavior without judgement towards one another.

They tell you that you do have strength and beauty to offer the world and that you are a joy to be around. Enter a community like this, and the bounce will come back to your step. The tenderness and compassion of your youth will enter your heart once again. You’ll see the destructiveness of sin in a whole new light. It will no longer be so much about feeling shameful, as it will be about a desire to bring your heart to the world. It is bringing your heart to the world that God is after.
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*Some of these Judeo-Christian sins aren’t understandable by those who share a different world-view. However, consider this - lust and other sins which are considered unharmful are actually those things which produce resentment in our hearts. I’m not sure why this happens, but it does. This resentment is so cyclical, that it is often unidentifiable by those who are wrapped up in it. Again, the sin isn’t so much about stopping “Behavior X” as it is about how “Behavior X” affects your relationships. It is destructive inasmuch as it takes away your ability to give to those around you.

The Lighthearted and The Playful

The lighthearted and the playful bring joy to the world through the sacrifice of their own hiddenness.

Our Hearts

In the end, it doesn't matter how well we have performed or what we have accomplished--a life without heart is not worth living. For out of this wellspring of our soul flow all true caring and all meaningful work, all real worship and all sacrifice. - Eldridge, The Sacred Romance

My Church Community

I'm part of a pretty amazing church these days. My friend Bob summed up our spiritual community in this way and I thought the comment really it right on:

"[My wife] and I were just talking - we decided that the best thing about [our church] are the people. I wanted to call them good, but really, they are just very good at loving each other." -Bob

Unbridled Emotions

Never restrict your emotions or try to suppress them. Let them run free and unbridled. Act upon those emotions and among those emotions in healthy ways.

In a Funk

I've written a couple of blogs recently. If you read them, you might be misled to believe that I'm 'close' with God or 'tight' with God right now. You might think I feel at peace or content with my life. The answer is 'no'. I'm not. I've been in a funk for a couple of months now. Feel very disconnected.

I still write.

There was a time a couple years ago when I started writing this blog that I decided I would write no matter how I felt or feel. Why? God's view on me never changes. I write out of His authority, not out of how I feel. Connected or disconnected.

I remember watching a video-taped recording of Rich Mullins singing one of his last concerts before his death in 1997. He looked like crap. Looked disconnected. Definitely didn't look happy or at peace. Looked like he was simply singing without any heart or soul. Maybe he was in conflict. Maybe he felt like no one loved him. Maybe someone close to him hadn't given him the time he wanted. I don't know. But, he sang anyway. He worked out of his God-given authority.

In this life, we will go through periods of depression, disconnection, sin, and pain. We don't stop parenting, working, relating to our spouses, or creating works of art because we feel like we're in a funk. That goes against the gospel. We contribute ourselves to those around us based on God's approval, not our own. This is the gospel.

We Don't Know What to Do With God

The other day, I saw my friend Nick tell a little two-year-old girl that she looked cute. She looked pretty. The little girl blushed, smiled, and turned her head trying to hide. This is all she knew how to do. She was so happy for the affirmation and yet embarrassed at the same time. She didn't know what to do with a man telling her she was pretty.

We do the same with God. I remember a conversation I had with a friend of mine. I'd just met her at the time. I could tell she was struggling with believing that the God of the universe cared about her. I said, "Jesus fought and died for you. Do you really believe you could ever do anything horrible enough to make him think poorly of you? I mean, He fought and died for you. How could you ever mess things up enough when He's already done that for you? How could you ever screw things up enough or make such a wrong decision that it would revoke the heart He already has for you?"

My friend didn't blush, smile, or turn her head trying to hide, like our little two-year-old that my friend Nick blessed with words of beauty, but my friend was doing so in her mind. I could see the wheels spinning. She'd never really been confronted with the bestowal of beauty upon her by God that she could never retract.

Here's the truth. None of us know what to do with this kind of love. God bestows beauty upon us. He bestows strength upon us. We don't know what to do. We feel so happy. We feel so embarrassed. Francis Chan says, "The God of the universe loves us with a radical, unconditional, self-sacrificing love. And, what is our typical response? We go to church, sing songs, and try not to cuss. Whether or not you've verbalized it or not... we all know something's wrong."*

If we are to become like little children, as Jesus says, then maybe we need to clue-in-onto this little girl's reaction. In her innocence, our little two-year-old friend simply turns, blushes, and tries to hide. She doesn't know what to do with such love.

Why do we keep trying to act like we do?

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*Francis Chan is author of the book "Crazy Love"

Graduation

Some of my students just graduated from our intensive ESL program yesterday. This was a particularly neat group of students. They really liked each other and were hard workers. They did this whole thing together. It was very cool to see them walk across the stage and claim their graduation certificates.

You've Been Remade

You are more than the choices that you've made. You are more than the sum of your past mistakes. You are more than the problems you create. You've been remade. -Lyrics from the new album by Tenth Ave North

I Feel this Need for You

I long to feel You. I feel this need for You. I need to hear You. Is that so wrong? -Lyrics, Tenth Ave North

What's Been Done For You

‘Cause this is not about what you've done, but what's been done for you. -Lyrics, Tenth Ave North

Within Me

Within me You placed Your spirit. Within me You placed a new heart. I will worship You, Lord, because of who You are. -Lyrics, The Late Jason Mitchener

Writing for My Students

Sometimes I dream of writing a major book like "The Shack" or "Wild at Heart" or even a novel. But, the other day I realized that this is ridiculous compared to what I have right now, which is my students. I wrote a three part story for them about a couple of international-student-superheroes in an action-comedy-romance with target vocabulary words from our lessons. After reading the final part to them, they applauded.

They're pretty cool.

What my students don't know is why it's so amazing when they applaud my work. The reason it is so amazing is because in my mind I'm applauding at the same time. It is a moment of worship for me. We're all applauding the One who gave me the hands, the mind, the creativity, and the teachers* that were needed to write such fun stuff. I've applauded God along with others during church worship, but the applause I experienced that day was so much more meaningful. Much less abstract. We applauded God for what He has made me into.
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*My teachers: First, my dad is my original writing teacher. He writes. I grew up listening to him about techniques for writing. Second, I studied a book my dad recommended to me called "A Story is a Promise" by Bill Johnson. My understanding of the difference between story and plot comes from that book. Third, my readings of adolescent novels such as The Lightning Thief by Rick Riordian have helped me to 'see' what Bill Johnson is talking about in "A Story is a Promise". Finally, God is my ultimate writing instructor. Look at Genesis. If a story is a promise, then the fall is the ultimate promise being made by a writer. At the moment Adam and Eve eat the fruit and run away from God, our first thought is, "What is God going to do about this? How is this problem going to be resolved?" God has made us an implicit promise that he will bring a resolution to the conflict in the story. I'll write about the story telling element of the Bible in another blog entry.

Freedom and Belief

We're not free because we believe it. We're already free. We get to experience that freedom when we believe it. -Original Phoenix Suns Gorilla

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Repentance isn't asserting that I'm going to do something about my sin, it's admitting I can't do anything about my sin. This is a biblical definition of repentance.

There is another nuance that I've missed for years. Repentance isn't just admitting that I can't do anything about my sin, it's about admitting that I can't do anything about anyone else's sin either (Lynch, Thrall, McNichol)

Whoa. That's not cool. That's not fair. That's not right. But, guess what, it is so freeing.

See, I've spent most of my life rehearsing mental arguments during moments lacking work, in which I convince others why they're wrong, how they've hurt me, and how they need to be fixed. I've also spent most of my life trying to manipulate others into doing what I wanted them to do for me or hiding from them, so that their sin won't hurt me any more. Do you see the lack of repentance here? What's happening is I'm trying to do something about someone else's sin. The Bible, however, is clear: There's nothing I can do about anyone's sin.

Now, don't get me wrong. I fight for justice. I set up healthy boundaries and tell people what I won't let them do to me, within what ability I have. However, there is an underlying premise I must accept. Even when I set up healthy boundaries or fight for justice, John or Mary will still sin against me, and I must admit and accept that there is nothing I can do about their sin.

In my mind this does two things: First, it is a recognition that only God can handle their sin, primarily through His heart for them and behind-the-scenes stuff He's doing, which we are oblivious to most often. Only He can redeem their sin, I can't redeem it for Him. Second, I can stop working. I'm not responsible for their sin. This takes the pressure off. God is very interested in giving us this gift. The gift of peace.

Repentance isn't just about our sin, it is about admitting we can't do anything about the next person's sin either.

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These are my re-hashed thoughts of what I've primarily learned from Lynch, Thrall, and McNicoll, intertwined with my own reality. I try never write about stuff I haven't experienced. I try never to contemplate or conjecture what *might* be true. These thoughts are based primarily on what I've experienced.

Cheering us on. Singing over us.

So often, we think God could care less about us. I don't believe that. My personal opinion is that he loves us and fights for us without reservation. Here is an ancient writing I read last night. "God is near you. He is a victorious warrior. He takes joy in you. He quiets you with His love. He takes joy in you with singing." - The Prophet Zephaniah in the Old Testament (Zep 3:17 SDT). This is what I believe.

My friend and I talked a little bit last night about how it's like God is our parent at a little league baseball game. Cheering. A little out of control. Other parents might even be a little embarrassed at how God would act in cheering us on. God isn't embarrassed. He let's it loose. We're running out there and he's so proud of us. He's singing songs about us.

A Proud Heart and a Humble Heart

A proud or boastful heart is concerned about being exposed for being right* or being wrong, being moral or immoral, doing something correctly or incorrectly, succeeding or failing. The key idea here is fearing exposure. They fear being exposed for anything, no matter what it may be.

A humble heart, on the other hand, claims rightness or wrongness, morality or immorality, correctness or incorrectness, success or failure; whatever the case may be. The humble heart sometimes might hide for a while. This is true. It might take a while - maybe a few minutes, a few hours, a few days or weeks; but, the humble heart is bound to come around. It is the new person that has been awakened.

A humble heart also knows that it can't survive on its own. The humble person needs a safety net. A God who isn't ashamed of him or her. A group of trusted others who aren't either. The humble person bravely risks exposure surrounded by such a safety net.

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*A proud heart even downplays when they are moral, right or successful. Still hiding. This is all a proud heart knows to do. Put on the mask. Must protect ourselves from any accusation. Ironically, the proud heart is concerned about being called prideful or boastful. They say things like, "Oh, it was nothing" to the gratitude of another**, instead of simply saying, "You're welcome. It was my pleasure." This second answer is the heart of a humble person. They claim their service. It is who God made them to be. They risk the accusations.

**I know this person very well, because this used to be me.

Emotional Intimacy

When I feel lonely, long for emotional connection with another, or often just feel like I'm missing something, I realize that what I truly long for is a deep and emotional intimacy with God. In this life, even the best marriages, closest war-buddies, or closest spiritual partners lack an emotional intimacy that is constant. In heaven, that emotional intimacy with God will never be severed. Whether married or unmarried, spiritual partner or not, we all have to wait for that deep, never-ending, intimate connection. Once we get there, it starts and goes on forever. In the meantime, we get little glimpses, maybe big glimpses. Marriage, war buddies, and spiritual partners comprise some of those glimpses. But, heaven is the real-deal. It isn't that far off. We get to go pretty soon. That's very cool.

The Absence of Faith and Faith

I remember about two or three years ago that there was a period of about a month where I said, "God, I don't think I believe in you any more." For various reasons during that time, I wondered whether or not my whole belief system was what I really believed or not. Did I really believe in Christ? Did I really believe I was a Christian if it was all true in the first place?

Funny thing is, I talked to God a lot during this process. I kept telling Him, "God, I'm going to have to just live like I'm not a Christian any longer. Go back to believing that when I die, I'll just be put into the ground and slowly decompose. Go back to my naturalistic or agnostic roots. I just don't know who I am or what I believe any longer."

My prayer life during this time actually increased. I'm not sure what happened, but at a certain point, something kicked in. I realized that the love and certainty of God was so much stronger than I had ever come to imagine previously. I wrote a blog called "The Certainty of God".

Here it is:

10 May 2008

The reason we can be totally honest with God is because He doesn't change. He always loves and always welcomes us. The big problem isn’t His uncertainty. It’s our mistaken belief that He isn't certain or that we can't depend on Him. There is something that feels like a paradox here. The best way to begin learning about His certainty is to admit to Him that we don't feel He is certain, safe, or maybe even good! The recovering alcoholics got it right when they proposed to other alcoholics that they turn their will and their lives over the care of God as they understood Him. It isn't that God is relative or uncertain--the problem is that our view of Him is relative or uncertain. God’s so loving, so caring, so certain, and so safe, that we can go to Him and start off by telling Him we don't believe any of it in the first place. The certainty of God is that He’ll start with you, wherever you’re starting at.

Anger and Faith

Sometimes, my deepest moments of faith have come while yelling at God. Getting angry with Him. I don't know how to describe this. It isn't resentment. It isn't bitterness. It isn't pointing the finger at Him. It borderlines sadness. Like I'm missing something. Like I'm missing Him. Somehow, in these emotional moments, I feel like I trust Him more than I ever have before.

Sanctification by Faith

In sanctification by faith, a new question begins to develop as we face the rebellion of our hearts. The question is, "Am I going to let someone love me? Am I going to let them meet a need that I cannot meet on my own?" Further, the person who asks this question goes deeper and says, "I need you to help me with this rebellion, but even more, my heart desires you in the middle of the process, not just you meeting my need." It is a very vulnerable and intimate experience.

This question regards both God and those trusted others we allow into the deepest parts of our lives. Choosing safe people we can trust becomes paramount, second only to our trust in God.

The Temptation to Remask

The mask always wants to go back on. If everyone could just know I have it all together. Then, everything would be okay.

My View on Protection

I believe God is always protecting us. I don't always believe this is true, but as I write this statement, I do believe it is true and I hope it remains my belief forever.

I can think of so many events, seasons, and decades of my life where it seemed like God was letting me down, but in the end, He was protecting me and others from greater harms that I had no idea were around the corner. Even more, he had greater forms of happiness that He was bringing me and others into that were also just around the corner.

Believing in God's protection changes everything.

The Gift of Sanctification

A lust* free life is a gift, not a burden. A resentment free life is a gift, not a burden. A life free of trying to subtly manipulate and control others is a gift, not a burden. A straightforward and honest life is a gift, not a burden. A life with healthy boundaries is a gift, not a burden. A life in which we engage reality instead of escape, is a gift, not a burden. And a life of service and contribution is a gift, not a burden.

As believers, many of us don't believe these things. We think, "I know this is true on paper, but God why hasn't it happened for me? It seems like these things are stressful, overwhelming, and incapable of ever coming true."

One part of the answer is: We have to believe these things are gifts before they start to happen. Then, in due time, they will start to happen. We will feel protected and loved, because that is exactly what is happening.

If these things don't feel like gifts to you right now, the best thing you can do is go to God and say, "God, these things don't feel like gifts at all to me. I don't believe it." With that type of honesty, He can start working with you. The reason I believe this is true is because God isn't a belief system. He's real. You can't go and ask your belief system for help or change your belief system to help you. But, you can go to God and He will help you.

The end goal is that God wants to bring you into closer relationships with others and experience the closeness that He already feels with you.

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*Not just sexual lust, but lust in all its forms. Anything that is obsessive and takes us away from reality. Obsessive behavior most often results in dysfunctional relationships. This is the very thing God is trying to protect us from.

Philippians 3:12

Wait...what just happened?! ~Phil 3:12 NVT

Bono on Christ

I have a brother, when I'm a brother in need. I spend my whole time running. He spends his running after me. When I feel myself going down, I just call and he comes around. But for the first time I feel love.

Lyrics - Bono, The First Time, U2.

Getting the Secular into Christianity

I had a conversation this morning with a friend that re-awakened me to a way of thinking that I haven't felt in quite a while.

It runs like this: As I grew up in a secular household, and as an agnostic, I believed that when I die that I would cease to exist. No more consciousness. Stick my body in the ground. Done.

One of the good things in that mindset, I believe, is the belief that we have to do what we can with what we've got now. We've gotta make the best of it. Carpe Diem. Seize the day. We're never gonna get to have this again, ran the thought process.

When I became a believer in Christ, my whole mindset changed. Sure, sometimes I have a default belief that I will just be buried into the ground and cease to exist; but, that belief has become weaker over time. My belief in the afterlife has grown in strength and death is less feared than before.

One of the things I think I've experienced as a believer is this mindset that says that this world is bad and heaven will be good. I often think, "I'll be glad to get outta here. I'll never miss this sin infested world."

But, there's something I've gotta remember from my secular, agnostic heritage. I'm never gonna have this again. When I die and heaven becomes a present reality, I'll never get to have what I have now. Most certainly, I will be so glad to be where I was made to be, and I'll never want to go back, but there's something I have to believe. I have to believe that I still have to do the best with what I've got now. I've got to really cherish this life because I won't ever have it again. There is some sort of reason why we're here right now. There is some sort of value of being in this sin infested world. There's something important about it and there's something important about taking value in it.

As Christians, we've got to learn from the agnostics and athiests, or get back to those roots of ours, so to speak. We've got to treat this world like it's all we've got, sort of. We've got to remember that once we leave, we'll never get it back. We've got to do the best with what we can right now and cherish each moment as though it is exactly what God wants for us, even though heaven will be 10,000 times better. We've got to savor every moment, trusting that in heaven we will look back on it and say, "Wow. I'm so glad I did that earthly existence, afterall. Thanks God."

How God Deals with Our Consequences

I often wish I didn't have to deal with the consequences for my sin in the here-and-now. But, I don't believe this is the Gospel. The Gospel is a God who says, "I'm gonna stay here and walk with you through the consequences. I'm not going anywhere." That's a father who loves me.

Childhood

Playing is a way to solve problems and to express feelings. In fact, play is the real work of childhood. – Mister Rogers

Getting back to our childhood may be the real work of adults. - Steven D

niotcafsitaS

I've often heard people say, "Only God can satisfy. All other things you try to do in order to satisfy you pale in comparison to Him. You must place Him in the center of all things. All other things are idols."

Although this is 100% true in my opinion, most people go about it the wrong way. They do all sorts of religious ceremonies, devotional readings, spiritual fervor prayer sessions, and spiritual-formulaic contortions. "Gotta get my heart right, stir up these feelings, and have nothing else before Him so I can be satisfied." That's how it goes in many legalistic-evangelical circles.

The best thing you can do so that God starts to satisfy you above all other things; however, is to start by realizing the Gospel, which is that He's already satisfied with you. This changes everything.

Trying to Please in All the Wrong Places

I find myself amazed that I continue to go to people in my mind or in real life who will never be pleased with me hoping that I can somehow be enough for them or win them over to my point of view, when in reality I can simply go to the One who is pleased with me already.

I speak to my own personal experience, but I believe this to be true for most people to a greater or lesser degree. I base this on numbers and numbers of times listening to others say the same sort of thing as I just did. Many of us spend our entire lives trying to get certain people to "get it". If they would just understand, if they would just be pleased with us, then the world would be a better place. It is mind-boggling that our thoughts can take us back five, ten, or even fifteen years within the course of one daydream and we find ourselves having a mental conversation (or mulling over what could have or should have happened) once again as if this feeble mental attempt might make things right, that somehow they might call us out of the blue and say, "I am so sorry. Now, I understand. You were right."

A healthy boundary says, "No, I will not do that any longer." I will not spend hours, days, weeks, years, or decades trying to please people who will never be pleased enough. I will go to people who have no agenda for me except to welcome me, nor who subtly try to get me to do what they want me to do. Above all, at any moment, I will go to the One who IS always pleased with me with no strings attached. This is His ultimate protection. He has transformed us into new people who never need to try to please Him again. In some weird, backwards sort of way we are to obey by trusting that He is pleased already because of who He's turned us into--beautiful creatures. This belief in Him is His greatest pleasure, and at moments we may find ourselves in quiet moments of peace.

Heaven (Part Five)

I wanna try to help connect you to the feelings of what it will be like when we get to heaven.

Here's an example:

Do you remember the airline pilot named Chesley Sullenberger who landed U.S. Airways flight 1549 into the Hudson River back in January 09? A flock of Canadian geese flew into the jet engines and cut all power to the aircraft. Sullenberger glided the plane gradually into the Hudson River and saved the lives of 155 people.

Imagine getting together in the July 09 reunion with the other survivors. Pilot Sullenberger walks into the ballroom hosting the event. Once people notice he's walking into the room an applause builds quickly. The applause doesn't stop after some sort of polite formality. The applause, smiles, and teary eyes (I'm sure) goes on for a while. More than a polite thank you. Next, people start going up to him and thanking him individually. One guy's wearing a T-shirt with Sullenberg's name on it. Smiles. Emotions. Tears, I'm sure. It's wonderful, emotional, and some sort of a sense of closure or at least connection with the other survivors.

In heaven, there will be a moment when Jesus walks into the ballroom. We'll know in that instant what He's done for us. Applause will build up rapidly. Smiles. Tears. Shouts. The applause will get louder. The crowd will be endless and the power of our applause will be like thunder or ten thousand horses running over the hills of Ireland. We will start to get a little out of hand. People raising each other up onto the top of the crowd. Groups in the hundreds of thousands jumping up and down like a group of football players preparing to enter a stadium. All kinds of cultures and their various styles of celebratory cries and hollers. You'd think the applause would start to die down at some point, but it gains momentum. It gains even more power, waves of cheers going to and fro. Time appears to be so unimportant in this new land and most of us lose track of it. A year seems like a thousand. Who knows how long until the applause dies down. We're exhausted. We're exhilarated. And, I'm not sure how it works, but somehow in the middle of the electricity, power, cheer, and applause...

We find ourselves in a personal moment with Jesus. We get to talk with the one who saved our life. The volume level of the millennial party is still ear piercing, but for some reason, it all fades away into the background and all is still. A quiet conversation with Him. We get to say everything.

Easter Sundays at My Church

My church saves baptisms for Easter Sundays. A marathon of baptisms in three services. I go to the 8am service because it's the only one I can get into without feeling like I've gone to a soccer match and fought other spectators to get in. Seriously, I think I saw a couple black eyes. We get charged up. The energy is tangible. A lot of messed up people entering a room of grace = tears and laughter.

Heaven (Part Four)

I'm thankful that in heaven we will be protected from suicide bombers like the ones in Moscow yesterday. We will be protected from random transients who accidentally drive off with our children while simply attempting to steal our car at a Circle K, like the one that took place in Phoenix today.

Heaven is primarily about getting together with God for the sheer enjoyment of Him, but part of it is about our desire which has been dragging on for years which is our cry out to God, "When will you protect us from these things?" Part of it is about His protection which has always answered, "Yes, I'm doing away with all of this and I will protect you from all of this forever. I will keep them from you forever. All evil will be stripped away. I will never let it touch you again."

One interesting point in Heaven is that we will even be protected from ourselves and others will be protected from us. It will be the ultimate form of protection. God says, "Will you let me strip all of your sin?" This has actually been His question to us all along. It is the question that speaks without words from the cross. Our cry is, "God, when will you protect us?" He says, "Yes, I will." He also says, "Will you let me protect you from yourself? Will you let me protect the others from you? I can't let you hurt them anymore."

There will be some surprises when we get there. Repentant terrorists who grieve over what they have done will welcome us in with grace-filled smiles. Unrepentant kindergarden teachers who do not want God's protection and argue over the terrorists' presence will be absent. It will be for our protection and to God's credit who has heard our cry. No evil, no matter how small will ever start a slow, trickle down process that has lead to the destruction and folly we experience in this present reality. It is God's answer to the Problem of Evil. It is the way He has chosen to solve it. He simply said, "Yes. I will defend you. I will answer your cry. No more suicide bombers. No more kindergarden teachers who make you feel ashamed of coloring outside the lines."

We might be tempted to say, "What about now? Why so long before it happens?" Have you ever dealt with a child in the back seat on a drive home who says, "Are we there yet?" Five minutes later, "Are we there yet?" Five seconds later, "Are we there yet?" Or, how about the child who is dying for Christmas to come so that he or she can get presents. "I wish Christmas were tomorrow," she says with a little pout and stomps her foot. As adults, we smile a little and get a little frustrated because the child doesn't see time as we do. We know we'll get home in just a little bit. We know Christmas is just around the corner. Academia is filled with lots of psychologically hurting and harmed adult philosophers who argue the Problem of Evil based on their childhood belief that Christmas should start tomorrow.

Now I'm not saying we shouln't belt out our frustrations at God for all the evil in the world. I'm right in the middle of it. I'm not saying we shouldn't say, "God, why not now? Why not eliminate it now? When is Christmas coming?" This is grace. This is a God who wants our anger, our frustration, and our pleas. We just have to remember that He has said yes to our cries. He has said, "I will protect you." From God's perspective, heaven is just around the corner. For us, it feels so long away from now.

Motivation and Maturity

For the Christian, the reasons to grow in maturity are often bogged down in shame and poor self-image. There must be new reasons for maturity or else everything turns into more wounding.

Absence in the Heart = Deep Hope

If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world. ~C.S. Lewis

Romans 12:1

Just show up. ~Romans 12:1 NVT

More on Communion

I really like taking communion. It isn't the ritual involved. I understand the good feelings that come from the rhythm of rituals. Nothing wrong with that. But what I really keep getting blown away by is this whole thing about the God of the universe fighting and dying for me. (This is what communion represents). A God who fights for me isn't a God who simply puts up with me. He wants me. This is my belief.

Inward-Outward Connection

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. ~Nelson Mandela, 1994 Inaugural Speech

The Religious Nature of Any Organization

The "Secular Free Thought Society" at ASU (athiest organization) wants to network with religious organizations on campus. Is officially registered as a religious organization and want invitations to networking activities with those organizations. Most interesting is they disbelieve God, but want to be a religious-organization, the very thing I believe that they are: religious in nature.

Serving Doesn't Require a PhD

Everybody can be great...because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Repentance, Obedience, and Sanctification

Repentance:

Repentance isn't doing something about my sin, it's recognizing that I can't do anything about my sin. ~Thrall, McNichol, Lynch

Recognize the impossibility of trying to figure out how to fix the harm you've done and will do to others, as well as your resistance towards God. I'm a safe place of forgiveness and protection you can reside in where healing and restoration take place (Jesus in Matthew 4:17 SDT).

Obedience:

In my opinion, the highest form of obedience is to believe that God has forgiven you and turned you into something amazing. All other forms of obedience fail in comparison.

Sanctification:

Sanctification is a flowery, theological term that means: healing, cleansing, getting healthy, and so forth. If we are to truly understand the gospel in all it's forms, then we must recognize the importance of treating sanctification as a gift. In this light, we must understand that God's view of us never changes based on how "well" or how "poorly" we do during this lifetime. He's already made His decision about His feelings for us apart from anything we've ever done or could do. In the end, sanctification becomes something He offers to us without any retribution or ill will towards us, should we not choose it. It is always an open gift, with no strings attached. Only when we know this truth, will we actually move forward in the sanctification process anyways.

As believers, our relationships with other people and even with our own selves do change as we mature or fail to mature. This is true. But, we must separate this from God's opinion on the matter. Only when we really come to understand this separation between our relationship to Him and our relationship to others, can our relationships with others become more healthy in the first place.

Separating the Christian from God (Short Version)

How we feel about ourselves as Christians and how God feels about us as Christians are two totally different animals. God believes there is no problem in our relationship with each other because He has stripped all our sin away and made us new people (Rom 8:1, 2 Cor 5:17, 2 Cor 5:21). We are tempted to believe (and maybe even often believe) that there is a problem or something wrong between us and God because we experience feelings of shame in the here-and-now when we sin, are sinned against, or even make mistakes and fail (which isn’t even sin in the first place). We project these feelings of shame and disappointment upon God as if they belong to Him—as if this is how He feels about us.

The question is: Are we going to believe what God says or what we feel? This is where we have to get into touch with our separateness from God, so to speak. How He feels and how we feel are two totally different animals. Get in touch with this separateness and neat feelings of healthy attachment are complementary. Believing what God has to say about the matter is one of the greatest honors we could ever give Him.

Separating the Christian from God

There is a misperception many followers of Christ have that their relationship with God is sometimes good and sometimes bad. This is a misunderstanding of the Gospel.

God's perception (not the believer's) IS reality, and according to Him, there is NEVER a problem with the relationship between Him and His children (Rom 8:1, 2 Cor 5:17, 2 Cor 5:21). Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Sure, but what about when I sin now? Isn't there a problem then, even if I'm still technically saved?" Again, this is a misunderstanding not only of the Gospel, but also a misunderstanding of what's happening when you do sin, which is completely SEPARATE from what God is thinking. Coming to understand that what God thinks as being totally SEPARATE from what we think about us is a huge landmark in the Christian's life, because it is a breaking of the bonds of co-dependancy. A co-dependancy that influences our theology.

Remember, this is really about belief. What does the follower of Christ REALLY believe? God says "there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ" (Rom 8:1). The believer is tempted to say, "But, what about when I went off on my wife today?" God says, "For the Christian, the old has gone, but the new has come" (2 Cor 5:17). The believer is tempted to say, "But what about when I was trying to manipulate my business partner into doing something that I knew would hurt him but help me, instead of playing fair?" God says, "I'll turn myself into sin so that My children can turn into righteousness" (2 Cor 5:21). The believer is tempted to say, "But, what about this adultery I'm in the middle of right now? I don't know what to do? What does God think about that?" The reality is that God does have something to say about that. He says, "I've already stripped it away." See, He knows you from beginning to the end. He doesn't just know you in the here-and-now. Do you really think God is merely constrained to this present tense we live in? That is a self-centered view point which is a misperception. God's perception is the real you or the true you. The real you has no sin. Even the you that existed before you became a Christian is now without sin. This is God's reality which means it is your reality whether you believe it or not all the time. He knows the real you. The new you.

The real question we have to ask ourselves is what do we believe? Do we believe what God says? See, the greatest honor we can make to Him is to actually believe what He says, which is basically that from His perspective, there is NEVER any problem between Him and I. How can this be? This is because reality is based upon what HE has done and what HE says, not what I have done or what I believe about the situation. What I believe about the situation is independant from reality.

The big problem is that when we commit real sin that is harmful* and offensive to God, ourselves, and others, that we feel guilt and shame as a result of our actions. Our shame tries to tell us that we are horrible, awful, unlovable people incapable of receiving God's love, and the big problem is that we take this shame that WE experience and we project it upon God. We believe that He feels this way about us. This is a form of co-dependancy that influences our theology. We have difficulty separating how we feel from how God feels. Our theology and our shame become intimately connected. A true theology is that there is NEVER a problem in our relationship with God. The real problem is that how we feel about our relationship with God is way off-base compared to what God knows to be true because of what He has declared about us.

What He's trying to say in these verses I've listed above is that He has DECLARED that there is no problem in our relationships with Him. End of story. The question is: Are we going to believe what He says or are we going to believe how we feel?

This is where we have to separate ourselves from God, so to speak. Ironically, this type of separateness leads to all sorts of deep feelings of closeness and attachment towards God in the process. It also is one of the greatest honors and pleasures we can give Him, by believing what He says.
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*I do believe that our sin harms God, but only because He has chosen to let it harm Him. By this I don't mean that it causes Him to be reactionary, feel shameful, or triggers all sorts of insecurities in Him. No. What I mean is that all of the harm that we have committed to ourselves and one another has been heaped upon Him by His own desire to rescue us. He bore the weight of our eternal suffering at the cross. Therefore, it harmed Him, but out of his own romantic love for us. By romantic I mean heroic and self-sacrificing.

God's "Primary" Motivation Isn't for Us to Stop Sinning

God's primary motivation in our lives is our healing. It isn't for us to stop sinning.

There is a misunderstanding that adds a step into this equation. It says, "I want to stop sinning so that God will heal me." This statement turns healing into a reward process rather than a grace process.

The true statement is, "God's desire is already to heal me" (Matt 23:37). I mean He fought and died for me at the cross. He's put Himself inside of me. There is no prerequisite to His desire for my healing.

In this perspective, we might desire to stop sinning, but this is because it is part of the healing process. It is no longer a means to attaining healing. It is simply part of it.

Furthermore, because God's desire is my healing, and because He has already taken all my sin and shame away from me and heaped it upon Himself, He never turns His back on me when I do sin. He never says, "Why can't you be more like so-in-so?" He's never ashamed of me. He never condemns in any sense of the word. If He did so, it would lead in the opposite direction of my healing, which is exactly the direction He doesn't want to take me in.

Why then does God desire us to stop sinning? The answer is my healing (Matt 23:37). Again, we have to be careful not to make it into a two step process. He doesn't want us to stop sinning so that by reward or obligation that He will heal us. Sin is more like pouring salt into our wounds, the very wounds He desires to heal. Do you see here how much more direct it is? There is no reward or punishment. It is a direct assault upon our healing.

Therefore, since God desires our healing, His primary reason for warning us about sin is over the salt we are pouring into our wounds. God's punishment already rests upon Himself at the cross, to our rescue. Since there is no condemnation left for us (Rom 8:1), the only motivation left is our healing.

This tender heart is to His credit and to His glory.

Tasty Communion

I've enjoyed taking communion at church lately because they're using these little saltine crackers that taste pretty good. Plus, the grape juice is a little sweetness washing down the saltine.

This is a spiritual metaphor. Jesus' broken body and blood represent the horror of what he underwent, but it also represents His joy in fighting and dying for us.

This is an idea that "tastes good" to me.

Jesus on Electric Guitar

I watched our electric guitarist this morning during our worship service. I realized that since Jesus created him to play music and play it well that Jesus must love electric guitar as well. In fact, since Christ dwells inside of our electric guitarist and since Christ also created all forms of music, I realized further that Jesus himself thoroughly enjoyed playing for us this morning. It's like He was playing, not just our guitar player.

Looking at our electric guitarist as a picture of Jesus exercising his creativity and love for music, I found myself in worship. Not the guitarist, but Christ inside the guitarist.

That's Jesus on Electric Guitar.

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Okay, now picture Jesus going freestyle with some rappers. He's right there with them. I'm serious. I'm going to Jesus' freestyle-rap-sessions when we get to heaven. I'm gonna learn to freestyle there. This is part of the gospel - rapping with Jesus.

Relational Imperfection

My new goal is relational imperfection.

This might sound strange, but when a person has been striving for the perfect words in each and every conversation, the perfect interactions, and a total fear of disappointment or miscommunication with others, this is a very difficult goal to attain. It requires an entire paradigm shift. God help me if the other party doesn't "get me" or "understand me".

Yet, this is where our health resides. Imperfection. Miscommunication. Imperfect interactions. Not being "understood" by everyone. Not even being liked by everyone. It gets messy and unpredictable. The weirdness can feel overwhelming.

Unhealthy lifestyles you might identify with include: work perfectionists, parental perfectionists, athletic or music perfectionists. My default unhealthy lifestyle is: relational perfectionism. Maybe some of you can identify.

My new goal is relational imperfection. Not as permission to harm others, but permission to try to communicate imperfectly. To try new things. To set healthy boundaries. To be okay with making relational mistakes. To forgive and be forgiven instead of running away from the imperfection. To be okay with broken relationships that need time to heal or relationships that are simply changing or evolving. To rejoice in maturing relationships as well.

This is one place where God desires to heal his children. Relational imperfection.

The Simplicity of Communion

I really like taking communion. It isn't the ritual involved. I understand the good feelings that come from the rhythm of rituals. Nothing wrong with that. But what I really keep getting blown away by is this whole thing about the God of the universe fighting and dying for me. When I look at that piece of bread or that wine, I declare to God that I believe He really has forgiven and accepted me simply because He has decided that He wants to forgive and accept me. I do this despite any thoughts of self-condemnation I might be suffering that moment. The way I think about myself and the way that God thinks about me are two different things. When I tell Him that I believe in His acceptance despite any self-condemnation, this is the greatest tribute I can ever make to Him.

The Unwritten Rules

The true culprit for all of the problems in the world isn't religion. Religion is merely one place to express our downfall. You'll find all the same problems in any institution:

Marriages and Partnering. Immediate Families. Extended Families. Schools. Workplaces. Universities. Religious Communities. Scientific Communities. Right or Left Wing Organizations and Communities. Student Organizations. Athletic Organizations. Missionary Organizations. Non-Profit Organizations. Hollywood. Gangs. Law Enforcement. Activist Organizations. Academic Communities. Artistic Communities. Political Organizations. The Corporate World. The Military. Etc.

The moment we try to blame religion for all of the problems in the world, we fail to see one of the main problems in our societies which is the unwritten rules of control which govern our interactions in any institution:

What we can do. What we can't do. When we're allowed to speak. When we're not allowed to speak.

The person who leaves religion most often moves into another community where a new set of unwritten rules is placed upon him or her. They might feel a sense of freedom at first, but soon to follow will come the unwritten rules of control in that community.

The solution to this problem goes much deeper than switching communities. It requires transforming the very nature of these communities from within or finding or creating entire new communities which abide by the rules of love* instead of the rules of control.

Unfortunately, many have tried to create these new communities without understanding the unwritten rules of control they were following in the first place and have simply transferred these rules into the new ones they have created.

The solution has to do with the rules of love which I'll cover in another entry. They aren't restrictive, permissive, or tolerant, although they might involve these qualities. The rules of love have an entirely different nature.

Bearing the Image of God

When we look in the mirror, we must decide to believe something that maybe we've never believed before or maybe something we need to renew in our hearts. We must believe that the person we see has something to give to the world because that person has been created by God. The primary thing we have to give to the world is ourselves.

A Letter from God

Hezekiah was a king of Judah back in the day*. He was in a desperate situation and about to loose his kingdom to the hands of the Assyrians. He sent a message to the prophet Isaiah. It said:

"Isaiah, could you relay the following to God? Tell him, 'We're in a really desperate situation. Would you help us?'" (2 Kings 19:3-4, SDT).

God's response: He sent a message back to Hezekiah through the prophet Isaiah. It said, "This letter to you Hezekiah is the sign that I'm going to save you" (2 Kings 19:29 SDT).

This is extraordinary.

Don't we all want to read our name in a personalized letter from God?

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*700's BC or so.

The Achilles' Heel in Creativity

Music. Writing. Painting. Speach writing. Web design. Film making. Humor.

When I do these things, am I doing them in order to establish who I am, or am I doing them out of who I am? The answer to this question expresses a lot about a person's psychology.

Haiti

I'm in awe over how unemotionally I'm affected when I look at pictures of the recent earthquake in Haiti. Several years ago, I built shelters in Pakistan following an earthquake which killed tens of thousands. I saw the broken buildings. I saw the broken people. I've also been around other horrific situations. In Iraq, I was within earshot of British soldiers using their machine guns to kill radicals who had taken over a local government building. Another time, I felt the walls in my Iraqi home shaken as 80 were killed in car bombs within minutes of each other. Many of you have also witnessed horrific events. For example, a number of you watched TV and saw the Twin Towers fall in New York. A few of you might have even been there. These sorts of events are very non-movie-like in their appearance and do register horrible feelings.

Still, for some reason, Haiti just doesn't register emotionally. I feel like maybe a combination of distance from these attrocities plus the repetitive viewing of fictional destruction in movies has really de-sensitized me. No shame. I'm just acknowleding it. I also don't feel like something is wrong with me because I know that if I were in the middle of a live situation that it would affect me emotionally, despite the fictional destruction I've been inundated with in the movies. I know this because I have been on the edge of horrific events and it has affected me in a horrible way. When it's happening live, there is no background music, there is no slow motion heroics, and often there is no last minute saving or rescuing. There is only an awful combination of silence, crying, and sirens--laced with adrenaline.

Pray for Haiti. As the adrenaline wears off and especially following the initial relief efforts over the next couple months, they move into a multitude of variations involving: shock, denial, acceptance, boredom, sadness, sickness, grief, and misery.

I suppose we could even give to Haiti. We can contribute financially even if we are unemotionally affected. There's nothing wrong with that. A dollar-given is a dollar-earned.

Knowing and Being Known (Part Three)

Knowing is hard because it requires I listen. Being known is hard because it requires I speak.

Misinterpretations of John the Baptist

Now I'm not saying that John the Baptist wasn't a little on the unusual side. The guy was pretty radical. However, I do believe there are some severe misinterpretations about his character and about what he was doing out there in the Judean Countryside. A lot of our misinterpretation of John has to do with our legalistic theology.

Here are some questions: Why did he have to come in the first place? Why did Jesus need somebody to "announce" who he was? What was John teaching? What is repentance? What is the Kingdom of God? What does preparing the path and making it straight mean? Why was he wearing the same clothes as the older prophet, Elijah? Talk to any average pastor, or even a glamorous mega-church pastor, and I bet you'll get a high percentage of deers looking into the headlight looks if you ask them what John the Baptist was all about. This doesn't have to do with a lack of intelligence, but it does have to do with a lack of correct theology.

Bear with me as I simply copy and paste part of the book of Mark for you to read. Let's admit it. We're more interested in reading what a commentator has to say than the scripture when it is quoted. Try to take a look, however, at what I'm showing you though, because it's going to look a lot more interesting if you read it and compare my two interpretations. I've changed some of the words or added words, in italics to show two different ways that our brain might interpret what has been written. I'm not proposing to exposit the Greek. I'm trying to show what's going on in our minds.

Mark 1:1-8

1The beginning of the gospel about Jesus Christ, the Son of God.

2It is written in Isaiah the prophet:
"I will send my messenger ahead of you,
who will prepare your way"
3"a voice of one calling in the desert,
'Prepare the way for the Lord,
make people who are right with God.' " 4And so John came, baptizing in the desert region and preaching a baptism of getting more right with God for the forgiveness of sins. 5The whole Judean countryside and all the people of Jerusalem went out to him. Confessing their sins in shame, they were baptized by him in the Jordan River hoping to stay right with God from then on. 6John wore clothing made of camel's hair, with a leather belt around his waist, and he ate locusts and wild honey. He didn't think you were quite as good as him if you weren't roughnecked too. 7And this was his message: "After me will come one more strict than I, the thongs of whose sandals I am not worthy to stoop down and untie. Even I'm still trying to stay right with him. 8I baptize you with water, but he will baptize you with the Holy Spirit." So, make sure and get things right.

Holy smokes. As a Christian, I've largely believed all of these misinterpretations I just italicized in the above description of John the Baptist. We mostly believe he was a little crazy, came to blow a trumpet announcing the start of Jesus' ministry, and was teaching people to make sure to get right with God.

I've heard the cultural phrase "get right with God" so many times in my Christian experience and it is so sad. It basically means, "get my act together" or "make myself a little better so God will be a little more pleased with me".

It is the opposite of the Gospel. The Gospel (good news) is that God, through Jesus, has already rescued us from all sin and has already transformed us into new people with his righteousness. It is an action that is already perfected, or already completed.

Therefore, if you really want to "get right with God" or "get righteous with God", then this is more about being open to Him forgiving and transforming you, not about what you need to do go get yourself cleaned up and a little more presentable. The first is a grace based mentality. The second is a shame based mentality.

Most of us grew up or migrated into churches which inadvertently espoused or espouse a shame based mentality. Thus, John the Baptist has been explained mainly as a weird, radical, desert dweller who told people to try to keep up with his pace of holiness and get their act together. "God is coming! You better get your act together! Look a little more sharp than you do. And stop complaining about the cold water I'm baptizing you in. Good Israelites don't complain about such things!" Frankly, my old picture of John the Baptist includes a picture of him with a whip threatening corporeal punishment.

Let's take a different look at Mark 1:1-8.

1The beginning of the gospel about Jesus Christ, the Son of God.

2It is written in Isaiah the prophet:
"I will send my messenger ahead of you,
who will prepare your grace-based way of living"
3"a voice of one calling in the desert,
'Prepare a grace-based community for the Lord,
provide them with a grace-based theology of forgiveness and love.' " 4And so John came, baptizing in the desert region and preaching that men and women who allow him to wash them clean with water will be cleansed of their sin by God if in the same way, they take a chance that God is safe enough that they'll let Him wash them clean of their sins and give up trying to make up for them in various ways. 5The whole Judean countryside and all the people of Jerusalem went out to him. Confessing their sins, he gladly washed them clean of their sin in the Jordan River. 6John wore clothing made of camel's hair, with a leather belt around his waist, and he ate locusts and wild honey. 7And this was his message: "After me will come one more powerful than I, the thongs of whose sandals I am not worthy to stoop down and untie. 8I wash you clean from sin with water, but he will wash you clean from sin by turning you into an entirely new person with the Holy Spirit."

In this interpretation, John isn't teaching about getting our act together or getting right with God, he's teaching about allowing God to get us right with him. The true nature of repentance is the recognition that I can't get my act together or get right with God in that horrible Christian religious culture we have been bred with over the centuries.

The moment I really believe that God has forgiven me (of my real sin) with the heart of someone who would fight and die for me, is the moment I have come to fully obey Him. This is what it means to "obey the gospel". It means to "believe in him". Think about when you've had someone really believe in you. I mean they believe in you, in the sense that they trust you. Wow. That is an amazing feeling. Now, I'm not saying that God is insecure in the sense that he needs us to believe in him, in order to cover up His shame or anything like that, but when we believe in Him; well, I believe this is the greatest complement we could ever pay to our Creator, more than any other type of good work we could ever perform.

What was John the Baptist doing out there? I think he was providing a safe place (away from orthodox religion and its rules) where people could go and find a safe place where they could be told that God is safe and harbors nothing but forgiveness and it is lived out in a grace-based community of believers who never negate sin, but desire (lots of failures here still) to forgive one another for that real sin. A place where people talk and communicate rather than attack one another or hide from one another due to the harm they cause one another. I think this is what John was doing. He was preparing for Jesus, a bunch of people who were learning about God's loving nature in a safe place, alway from the unwritten rules of family, institutions, and orthodox religion. It was a safe place where they could go, practice new ways of living, get recharged, and then go back to the world with God's love in their hearts.

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You might ask, what about when he was yelling at the Pharasees and the Teachers of the Law? What kind of love was that? In that situation, I believe John the Baptist was actually doing the most loving thing he could do. He was protecting his disciples. The religious teachers (with their unwritten rules) were there to influence his disciples with their unhealthy and legalistic ways of living. The only thing he could do was to yell at them and expose them for who they really were. I'm sure some stayed and truly accepted the forgiveness of God. I'm sure he didn't tell them to leave. But, the primary motivation of John was protection, I believe, in those moments.