It used to bother me that music has never been a very natural way for me to connect with God. This is "worship" isn't it? I watch others having these fantastic "worship" experiences through music at church and I can feel like there is something wrong with me. I don't know how many times I've had speakers inadvertently "shame" me because God "commands us to worship" and it is "through music and singing".
Wow. Talk about legalism. I can't blame them when they say it, because it has been passed down through the generations, but it harms us nevertheless: this legalism I'm referring to. Unwritten rules we are supposedly supposed to follow in order to be in God's good graces, as if we needed to "earn grace".*
Here is how I personally worship God most often. (1) I talk to Him while I'm driving and reflecting on Him. (2) I write these blog entries. (3) I live in the light of vulnerability with trusted others according to 1 John.
When an idea about spirituality comes to mind (most often as I'm driving and reflecting) I realize I have a blog entry that is ready to type. The spiritual idea or practical advice is coming from deep within my heart and I realize my desire to write it down on paper is this powerful form of worship. I want to get His love out onto paper!
Some people sing. Some people write music. Some people pray in a quiet room. Some people preach. I write Crossing Border Stories. Read them if you want. I almost don't care. I'm worshiping God.
________________________________
*Lyrics from Tenth Avenue North
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Already Counting for Something
Sometimes I think about things and wonder "if my life is going to count for something" when all is said and done. Then I remember that the God of the Universe fought and died for me and I realize that "my life does count for something". Case closed.
Worship and Affirmation
When I'm genuinely affirmed by someone, I feel all warm inside. I think this is partly due to the fact that the person is affirming me as a creature of God, which really means they're affirming God too. I believe my experience of their warm affirmation is also my experience of them worshiping God through me.
Conversely, when I affirm someone, I feel so good about doing so. I think I feel this way because I'm affirming someone that God has created. Therefore, I'm essentially telling God how awesome He is. This is worship, not of the person, rather worshiping God through that other person. They reap the benefits.
Truly, as Jesus has stated, "Whatever you did for the least of these brothers, you did for me." (Matthew 25:40)
Conversely, when I affirm someone, I feel so good about doing so. I think I feel this way because I'm affirming someone that God has created. Therefore, I'm essentially telling God how awesome He is. This is worship, not of the person, rather worshiping God through that other person. They reap the benefits.
Truly, as Jesus has stated, "Whatever you did for the least of these brothers, you did for me." (Matthew 25:40)
Tears in the "Room of Grace"
People get teary-eyed in my church reasonably often. A "Room of Grace" we call it. I remember last Easter we baptized a couple dozen people and I found myself very emotional, listening to their stories, and trying to cover my teary-eyes. Then I realized the guy next to me was doing the same thing. No need to hide them at that point. So thankful to be in a place like this.
On another occasion, I found myself a little emotional during the service. I had a tear in my eye. My first instinct is to feel funny about that, especially as a man. In this situation, I happened to look across the aisle and saw a 65 year-old man wiping away his tears. So thankful to be in a place like this.
2011 addendum: I continue to long for these moments of vulnerability when I and others in our congregation meet God in a tangibly emotional way. I don't get teary eyed as much in services these days, but my relationships are much more emotionally connected. I still find myself teary eyed in a number of other venues when I feel the power of God in relationship - especially when I relate to others and it is surrounded with joy and power or even sadness and loss. The tears tell me that God and others are real. Peace flows in and around those emotions.
On another occasion, I found myself a little emotional during the service. I had a tear in my eye. My first instinct is to feel funny about that, especially as a man. In this situation, I happened to look across the aisle and saw a 65 year-old man wiping away his tears. So thankful to be in a place like this.
2011 addendum: I continue to long for these moments of vulnerability when I and others in our congregation meet God in a tangibly emotional way. I don't get teary eyed as much in services these days, but my relationships are much more emotionally connected. I still find myself teary eyed in a number of other venues when I feel the power of God in relationship - especially when I relate to others and it is surrounded with joy and power or even sadness and loss. The tears tell me that God and others are real. Peace flows in and around those emotions.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Heavenly Status Updates and Tweets
Facebook and Twitter have obviously become somewhat idolatrous. What I mean is that they’ve replaced not only God as our source of affirmation, but even other real human beings as a source of affirmation. There is a caution we must all face here. Yet, as a friend of mine said the other week, we shouldn’t throw out the baby with the bath-water.
What to do?
First, we must recognize that a collective group of cyberspace friends is no substitute for God. It is no substitute for real human beings, on that matter. What I mean is that I can post a million status updates, receive a million comments of affirmation, but just like salt-water, I’ll remain thirsty, no matter how much I drink or how many updates I post.
Second, we must recognize that the need to be affirmed is a deep need* of ours that God has created in the first place. Not only that, but He provides lots of ways (yes, even Facebook and Twitter) in order to get that affirmation. However, there is a twist here which is small, but very important.
When I post a status update on Facebook, it usually comes from deep, down and inside somewhere in my heart. It might just be what I did that day, but it is important. It might be funny or profound, serious or mundane. In the end, however, it represents me and “me” needs to be affirmed.
The affirmation, however, can’t come from the Facebook collective or the Twitter collective. It must come from God, since as stated earlier, the collective is just like salt-water which never satisfies. Therefore, when I post status updates on Facebook, I try to keep one thing in mind: I’m posting the update primarily for God and all the angels--maybe even the part of humanity who is already in heaven. You see, they’re the ones who are most interested in my life in the first place. God is my advocate. His angels are also my advocates. Those who have already died and gone to heaven are without sin and therefore would have the self-less desire to read my status updates in the first place.
God and the heavenly hosts are the ones who are most interested in our status updates, even more than our friends on Facebook. Figuratively, they might be re-tweeting our messages to each other or having water cooler conversations about us. Jesus might have you and I on some 4D video screen with the remote control and gathering angels around to replay portions of our lives for them. “Check out so-in-so, Gabriel. Isn’t that awesome, what just happened?! He's learning more and more that I fought and died for him!” Or, maybe it's more on the funny side, Jesus says, "Holy smokes guys. I can't believe he just ran into that glass-door without seeing it. Let's rewind that part!" Maybe a couple hundred angels are rolling. He’s showing us off. In reality, He’s actually showing Himself off, since He created us in the first place.
God is the one who is most interested in our status updates. He’s writing comments all over your Facebook profile in heaven. Angels and others are writing comments too as they see our stories and how God has orchestrated all of our stories into this Grand Story which goes on for eternity.
So go ahead. Write your Facebook status updates, but don’t wait for comments from your friends, even though they're important. Know that God and the angels are all over your status updates and tweets. They already think you’re awesome. That’s why they’re looking at them in the first place.
By the way, short prayers throughout the day are the equivalent of heavenly status updates without the need to get to a computer or an iPhone. God and the angels pass along those invisible status updates and tweets even though nothing has been typed. It’s all water-cooler conversation about you and others up in heaven.**
________________________________
*I speculate that part of why we need affirmation so desperately is because when we are affirmed by another person, that person is actually worshipping God in one way or another. They’re affirming not only the person, but the one who created that person. Therefore, the person receiving the affirmation actually gets to be part of the experience of someone else’s worship through them. This is a seriously awesome transaction.
**Of course, all of the specifics is pure speculation on my part, but I hope you'll get the jist that it is God who is most interested in our status updates and tweets.
What to do?
First, we must recognize that a collective group of cyberspace friends is no substitute for God. It is no substitute for real human beings, on that matter. What I mean is that I can post a million status updates, receive a million comments of affirmation, but just like salt-water, I’ll remain thirsty, no matter how much I drink or how many updates I post.
Second, we must recognize that the need to be affirmed is a deep need* of ours that God has created in the first place. Not only that, but He provides lots of ways (yes, even Facebook and Twitter) in order to get that affirmation. However, there is a twist here which is small, but very important.
When I post a status update on Facebook, it usually comes from deep, down and inside somewhere in my heart. It might just be what I did that day, but it is important. It might be funny or profound, serious or mundane. In the end, however, it represents me and “me” needs to be affirmed.
The affirmation, however, can’t come from the Facebook collective or the Twitter collective. It must come from God, since as stated earlier, the collective is just like salt-water which never satisfies. Therefore, when I post status updates on Facebook, I try to keep one thing in mind: I’m posting the update primarily for God and all the angels--maybe even the part of humanity who is already in heaven. You see, they’re the ones who are most interested in my life in the first place. God is my advocate. His angels are also my advocates. Those who have already died and gone to heaven are without sin and therefore would have the self-less desire to read my status updates in the first place.
God and the heavenly hosts are the ones who are most interested in our status updates, even more than our friends on Facebook. Figuratively, they might be re-tweeting our messages to each other or having water cooler conversations about us. Jesus might have you and I on some 4D video screen with the remote control and gathering angels around to replay portions of our lives for them. “Check out so-in-so, Gabriel. Isn’t that awesome, what just happened?! He's learning more and more that I fought and died for him!” Or, maybe it's more on the funny side, Jesus says, "Holy smokes guys. I can't believe he just ran into that glass-door without seeing it. Let's rewind that part!" Maybe a couple hundred angels are rolling. He’s showing us off. In reality, He’s actually showing Himself off, since He created us in the first place.
God is the one who is most interested in our status updates. He’s writing comments all over your Facebook profile in heaven. Angels and others are writing comments too as they see our stories and how God has orchestrated all of our stories into this Grand Story which goes on for eternity.
So go ahead. Write your Facebook status updates, but don’t wait for comments from your friends, even though they're important. Know that God and the angels are all over your status updates and tweets. They already think you’re awesome. That’s why they’re looking at them in the first place.
By the way, short prayers throughout the day are the equivalent of heavenly status updates without the need to get to a computer or an iPhone. God and the angels pass along those invisible status updates and tweets even though nothing has been typed. It’s all water-cooler conversation about you and others up in heaven.**
________________________________
*I speculate that part of why we need affirmation so desperately is because when we are affirmed by another person, that person is actually worshipping God in one way or another. They’re affirming not only the person, but the one who created that person. Therefore, the person receiving the affirmation actually gets to be part of the experience of someone else’s worship through them. This is a seriously awesome transaction.
**Of course, all of the specifics is pure speculation on my part, but I hope you'll get the jist that it is God who is most interested in our status updates and tweets.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
What do you want me to do for you?
A blind beggar approaches Jesus as he walks with a group of people. Those leading the way tell the beggar to be quiet. Jesus does the opposite. He says, “Bring him to me. I want to talk to him.” Then Jesus says to the beggar, “What do you want me to do for you?”
This question is so simple, yet so profound. So often we ask God, “What do you want me to do for you, God?” We have it backwards. It is God who asks us this question.
As this sinks into our hearts and we begin to relax in the comfort of God's protection, we sometimes might begin to ask God and others the very same question, but the reason for doing so will feel different.
______________________________
Luke 18
This question is so simple, yet so profound. So often we ask God, “What do you want me to do for you, God?” We have it backwards. It is God who asks us this question.
As this sinks into our hearts and we begin to relax in the comfort of God's protection, we sometimes might begin to ask God and others the very same question, but the reason for doing so will feel different.
______________________________
Luke 18
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Do Not Conform to the Patterns of this World
The pattern of this world is the pressure to perform to prove our worth and an effort to marginalize those who don’t. The pattern of this world is to tear down instead of build up. We throw sticks and stones at each other, mainly because we’ve had them thrown at us. In the New Testament, God tells us to stop conforming to these patterns (Romans 12). Stop tearing down. Start building up. But what are we supposed to do with these cyclical patterns of performance and retaliatory based living? Primarily, we must first understand that God does not base His opinion of us on our performance or on who is right and who is wrong. We’re all guilty of throwing sticks and stones and might as well get over this fact that we fall in the same category. I must simply trust that God took it upon Himself to remove these defects from me through his own sacrifice and put all of His righteousness into me.
Once I get past the self-rejection and realize that He has made me perfectly lovable despite my performance in the here-and-now, then I no longer conform to the world simply by believing who He says I am. This is where the transformation begins and ends. I no longer conform to the pattern of this world when I make this change in belief. It is the core, the deep change, the repentance. I know this might sound counter-intuitive because we are all stricken with this false-idea that we stop conforming to the world through our behavior. However, that is opposite of the Gospel. The Gospel is that when I trust God for who He really is and who He says I am, then I no longer conform to the patterns of this world through having this belief.
Regarding our behavior, let's look at what Jesus has to say. This belief in Him as our Rescuer, Jesus tells us, is like a small mustard seed that will eventually become a great tree in the garden, providing shade for all around it. Eventually, from the beginning of this belief, I begin to realize that I feel much more relaxed. Those around me take notice and see that I no longer conform to the patterns of performance and retaliation. In hindsight, I find that my behavior conforms less and less with the world and more and more with my true identity as a child of God. How it happened exactly, I’m somewhat uncertain of in terms of the process, but one thing I do know is that it started from a correct belief in the fact that God has already reconciled my performance and my desire for retaliation in this world. Any other belief system eventually leads to self-rejection at one point or another which keeps us in a cycle of trying to prove our worth through performance or through proving ourselves right and others wrong.
2011 addendum: In addition to what I stated above, I believe that a person who believes God has already forgiven him or her is now in the process of doing good in the midst of sin, as opposed to trying to get rid of sin. We will sin. It happens regularly. What we must not do is heap mounds of self-contempt upon us. God's desire for us is to do good, to do relationship, and to believe it is okay to go out on a limb and do amazing things to bless other people even though we might fear that we won't live up to it the next day. This is sanctification by grace.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
The Reason Behind Crossing Border Stories (Short Version)
There is a new picture* at the top of my blog Crossing Border Stories. A group of valiant geese cross the road, risking their very lives for who knows what reason. Oh, so many parables to be told about these lovable, courageous, dumb-witted geese!
Crossing Border Stories birthed when someone asked me to write down my thoughts on overseas cultures and ethnic groups.
Instead, I started writing these short, spiritual essays. I write them primarily because I love to write them. Second, I write them as an act of service to friends and acquaintances which is very cool.
I kept the name Crossing Border Stories to indicate the spiritual borders we all must cross in life if we wish to go through the spiritual healing process.
Aren't these geese cool looking? Strutting their stuff and all that.
__________________________________
*Winnipeg Free Press. I hope "free" means I can use it.
Crossing Border Stories birthed when someone asked me to write down my thoughts on overseas cultures and ethnic groups.
Instead, I started writing these short, spiritual essays. I write them primarily because I love to write them. Second, I write them as an act of service to friends and acquaintances which is very cool.
I kept the name Crossing Border Stories to indicate the spiritual borders we all must cross in life if we wish to go through the spiritual healing process.
Aren't these geese cool looking? Strutting their stuff and all that.
__________________________________
*Winnipeg Free Press. I hope "free" means I can use it.
The Reason Behind Crossing Border Stories
There is a new picture at the top of this blog called Crossing Border Stories. A group of geese valiantly cross the road, risking their very lives for who knows what reason. Oh, so many parables to be told about these lovable, courageous, dumb-witted geese!
Crossing Border Stories birthed when someone asked me to write down my thoughts on traveling overseas and the people I had encountered. Frankly, I didn't have much to write for some reason.
Shortly after creating the blog's name, God set me free from many of the legalistic attitudes* of my heart and I began writing the short, spiritual essays that you see here today. I had never believed I had permission from anyone to do so. I thought those things were reserved for pastors, theologians, or any one of the elevated "spiritual sages" I had esteemed.
Then, something happened. First, I began to see these ideas and experiences swirling around in my head and life as being something I could give to others as some sort of act of service. Wow. Me. I might be able to give something to someone. But, there was a problem. I still didn't think I had permission so for some reason. I still wasn't a pastor, theologian, or spiritual sage. It was preventing me from this act of service. Imagine! The rule I had in my head was preventing me from this act of service. This is the very thing that Jesus Himself dealt with every day of His life. The religious leaders kept saying He wasn't following the rules, so He couldn't be from God, or He would follow the rules. Some people said things like, "Isn't he just a carpenter?" What right does a carpenter or an ESL teacher (like me) have to say about the Kingdom of God? Do you see? These were all the thoughts working against me. Funny thing is these were all thoughts. All the religious hypocrites were simply thoughts in my own head.
Then, something happened. I crossed a border. An invisible border, to be sure, but a border nevertheless. I woke up one morning and the following popped into my head, "I want to make my own decisions instead of the right decisions." Crazy, huh? But, this was a defining moment in my past year or two of spiritual healing.
So, what did I do? I started writing. I started writing these spiritual essays, and I waited to see if lighting would strike. I hadn't asked permission. No seminary, no pastor, no spiritual sage gave me permission. I had crossed a border inside my soul called legalism*.
There is a web of accountability associated with my writings that I want you to know about, however, because I also want you to know that any time we venture out to publicly announce any learnings we have in our spiritual adventures, we must have a network of trusted others who keep us grounded.
First, I generally wait for the Holy Spirit to prompt me in my writing. I try never to write unless I feel like an idea has come to me that is grounded in my experience. If I write about things I've never experienced then I write about things I know nothing about. A clear example of that right now is the issue of forgiving others. I feel like I have a very small glimpse into this spiritual category. I don't have much to write about on it currently, but wait expectantly for the time that I can write about it.
Second, I have a network of grace-oriented friends primarily through my church who love me in the middle of anything. They completely accept everything about me even though they challenge me, as well. So, I live in grace and truth with them as much as possible, even when my insecurities are riding high.
Third, I have a list of about a dozen or half-dozen books that I point back to in my writings of authors who have inspired me and whose ideas or counseling suggestions have been proven over time through others and through experience. Examples are: Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend. True Faced by McNicholl, Thrall, and Lynch. Wild at Heart and Captivating by John Eldridge and John & Stasi Eldridge. The Beloved by Nouwen. The Chronicles of Narnia and Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis.
In the end, however, I must emulate these geese who are crossing the street in front of these cars. They are cute and courageous, but if they knew any better, they'd probably never have crossed in front of those cars in the first place. When we cross the borders in our own hearts that free us from legalism* we are like these little geese.
In our lives, cars are on the approach, yet we step out in faith. We take risks. We stop waiting for permission. We believe in God's protection. We cross borders. We write Crossing Border Stories.
______________________________
*For my purposes, I define legalism as the written or unwritten rules imposed on individuals within a given sub-culture that point us away from authentic relationships with God and others.
Crossing Border Stories birthed when someone asked me to write down my thoughts on traveling overseas and the people I had encountered. Frankly, I didn't have much to write for some reason.
Shortly after creating the blog's name, God set me free from many of the legalistic attitudes* of my heart and I began writing the short, spiritual essays that you see here today. I had never believed I had permission from anyone to do so. I thought those things were reserved for pastors, theologians, or any one of the elevated "spiritual sages" I had esteemed.
Then, something happened. First, I began to see these ideas and experiences swirling around in my head and life as being something I could give to others as some sort of act of service. Wow. Me. I might be able to give something to someone. But, there was a problem. I still didn't think I had permission so for some reason. I still wasn't a pastor, theologian, or spiritual sage. It was preventing me from this act of service. Imagine! The rule I had in my head was preventing me from this act of service. This is the very thing that Jesus Himself dealt with every day of His life. The religious leaders kept saying He wasn't following the rules, so He couldn't be from God, or He would follow the rules. Some people said things like, "Isn't he just a carpenter?" What right does a carpenter or an ESL teacher (like me) have to say about the Kingdom of God? Do you see? These were all the thoughts working against me. Funny thing is these were all thoughts. All the religious hypocrites were simply thoughts in my own head.
Then, something happened. I crossed a border. An invisible border, to be sure, but a border nevertheless. I woke up one morning and the following popped into my head, "I want to make my own decisions instead of the right decisions." Crazy, huh? But, this was a defining moment in my past year or two of spiritual healing.
So, what did I do? I started writing. I started writing these spiritual essays, and I waited to see if lighting would strike. I hadn't asked permission. No seminary, no pastor, no spiritual sage gave me permission. I had crossed a border inside my soul called legalism*.
There is a web of accountability associated with my writings that I want you to know about, however, because I also want you to know that any time we venture out to publicly announce any learnings we have in our spiritual adventures, we must have a network of trusted others who keep us grounded.
First, I generally wait for the Holy Spirit to prompt me in my writing. I try never to write unless I feel like an idea has come to me that is grounded in my experience. If I write about things I've never experienced then I write about things I know nothing about. A clear example of that right now is the issue of forgiving others. I feel like I have a very small glimpse into this spiritual category. I don't have much to write about on it currently, but wait expectantly for the time that I can write about it.
Second, I have a network of grace-oriented friends primarily through my church who love me in the middle of anything. They completely accept everything about me even though they challenge me, as well. So, I live in grace and truth with them as much as possible, even when my insecurities are riding high.
Third, I have a list of about a dozen or half-dozen books that I point back to in my writings of authors who have inspired me and whose ideas or counseling suggestions have been proven over time through others and through experience. Examples are: Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend. True Faced by McNicholl, Thrall, and Lynch. Wild at Heart and Captivating by John Eldridge and John & Stasi Eldridge. The Beloved by Nouwen. The Chronicles of Narnia and Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis.
In the end, however, I must emulate these geese who are crossing the street in front of these cars. They are cute and courageous, but if they knew any better, they'd probably never have crossed in front of those cars in the first place. When we cross the borders in our own hearts that free us from legalism* we are like these little geese.
In our lives, cars are on the approach, yet we step out in faith. We take risks. We stop waiting for permission. We believe in God's protection. We cross borders. We write Crossing Border Stories.
______________________________
*For my purposes, I define legalism as the written or unwritten rules imposed on individuals within a given sub-culture that point us away from authentic relationships with God and others.
Monday, August 10, 2009
God is My Judge
There are all sorts of circumstances, ideologies, sub-cultures, people, and even my own mind who wish to judge me incorrectly. If I believe all these things judge me for who I really am, then I am doomed to a lifetime of frustration and self-rejection. This is why I believe in Christ. He judges me correctly. He judges me totally lovable because He has made me totally lovable. It is so counter-intuitive because so often I base my self-perception on my outward behavior instead of who God has declared me to be. He has put Himself inside of me. What kind of a God would willingly put Himself into one of His creatures and then put on a big frown that was dependent on anything other than His declaration of my righteousness? Christ doesn’t declare me righteous because of anything I’ve ever done to earn it. He simply declares I am righteous, lovable, delightful, fun, and enjoyable because He has declared me to be these adjectives when I came to my senses and saw that only He could make me this way in the first place. Then, He entered me in some sort of mysterious way and declared me to be all these things. Essentially, He declared me to be like-God, because by putting Himself into me, He had made me like-Him.
Now, when all sorts of things, people, and my own mind want to judge me, I pray to God as it is happening and say, “God, these things, people, and especially my own self can’t be my judge. God, you are my judge. I know You judge me correctly. Lovable. Righteous. Satisfying. I am not a mistake. Once I get centered back on who God declares me to be, then I can get on to maturity and living life to the fullest.
Now, when all sorts of things, people, and my own mind want to judge me, I pray to God as it is happening and say, “God, these things, people, and especially my own self can’t be my judge. God, you are my judge. I know You judge me correctly. Lovable. Righteous. Satisfying. I am not a mistake. Once I get centered back on who God declares me to be, then I can get on to maturity and living life to the fullest.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
God Incarnate
The reason I believe Jesus is truly God-In-Human-Form is because of all the portrayals of God in the major religions and secularized spiritualities, I find He is the only one who fights and dies for us. In any of my objections I raise towards God sometimes, it is hard for me to get over this fact that He thinks I'm worth fighting for simply because He thinks I'm worth fighting for.
"God demonstrates His love for us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." ~Romans 5:8
"God demonstrates His love for us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." ~Romans 5:8
God's Assessment
Sometimes I ask God, "God, what is your assessment of me?" God says, "Steven, I live inside you. I like it in here. THIS is my assessment." Okay. Enough said. God's nickname might as well be something like "Affirmation". The "face" of God are those who tell me these things on His behalf.
~1 Peter 4:11
~1 Peter 4:11
God's Glory in Others
The more I heal, the more I see God in other people. It might be just a sliver of something glorious, but it IS a sliver of something GLORIOUS. It is still very intermittent because I'm a very judgmental person, which distorts my view of the image of God in others. Good thing He doesn't define me by this. Still, I see little glimpses of Him inside of people more and more. Pretty awesome when it happens!
"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God." ~Jesus
"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God." ~Jesus
Thursday, August 6, 2009
The Adventures God Longs to Take Us On
Our desire to go on adventures is fueled by God’s desire to take us on adventures in the first place. We live in a fallen world where people hurt and are hurt by one another. God longs to take us into this pain and suffering in order to be part of the solution for repairing such damage that has been done. We experience feelings of joy and exhilaration when we go through stories of survival and rejuvenation. We feel ourselves coming to life. We feel ourselves coming to the rescue of those around us by being resources* for their adventures, as well. Adventures call upon our sense for the heroic and for the romantic. It is in our design to emulate Christ in this respect. He fought for us. He died for us. He loved us. He raised us to new life. God longs to send us on adventures which raise us and those around us to new life.
_______________________________________
*We are unable to force those around us to be rescued. We offer ourselves as resources with healthy boundaries. If I think I can save you, then I am falling into a certain level of co-dependency which is unable to save you in the first place. Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend is a good book to help spell out the difference.
_______________________________________
*We are unable to force those around us to be rescued. We offer ourselves as resources with healthy boundaries. If I think I can save you, then I am falling into a certain level of co-dependency which is unable to save you in the first place. Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend is a good book to help spell out the difference.
Monday, August 3, 2009
God's Hug-Collar vs. God's Electric-Dog-Collar
During a sermon yesterday, my teaching pastor expressed how we often wish God would put an electric collar around our neck, like the kind some people put on their dog in order to control them and keep bystanders safe. When we are tempted to sin, God could simply shock us and get our attention. “No sin. Bad human!”
My pastor's assertion (and mine as well) is that God is not one to work in this way. His love endorses our personhood and individual decision making. He is not going to use the physical pain of an electric-dog-collar to prevent us from committing sin. This would make us robots. However, I do believe there is something that God does do when we are about to sin that is similar to the electric-dog-collar, yet worlds apart in its nature. I believe it is worlds apart because it is the kind of help He offers that appeals to our identity in Christ rather than our performanced-based-old-nature. I think my teaching pastor would also agree. Let me explain.
I find that when I am tempted to sin, there is this part of me that knows I need to share it with someone else in my life that I trust. This part of me (I believe) is God telling me which direction is the way out. In 1 John it says, “7But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all[b] sin. 8If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
One part of the way out (i.e. what purifies us from all unrighteousness) is to find a few trusted others with whom I can be transparent and vulnerable when I face temptation. For example, when I feel like going off on my spouse because I’m feeling resentful to them, this is a good time to call a trusted friend and say, “Friend, I’m ready to go off on my spouse right now.” This exposure and vulnerability breaks a lot of the power in the temptation to retaliate in such a situation. Also, a close friend who knows our sin patterns is able to help us see the situation a little more objectively and remind us that we are doing such a great job by trusting God in the situation and living out our true nature in Christ. Then, once we cool down, we can move towards our spouse in a much more healthy way (i.e. from who we really are in Christ), rather than being so reactionary. Of course, there are lots of other examples of sin, but I mention the above as a general example.
When we let a mature, trusted other into our lives in such a way, we are literally letting God into our lives. This is humility. This is the power to break sin. Making ourselves transparent and vulnerable with a mature, trusted other is the electric-dog-collar of another nature that God offers to us when we are tempted to sin. He won’t shock us, so as to force us into not sinning. Rather, He will give us a loving hug-reminder (usually a thought in our head) that we are a phone call or coffee rendezvous away from bringing our temptation into the light with a brother or sister in the faith. This faith-based and freedom-of-choice based hug-and-affirmation-collar is one of the major ways God is working with us to resolve the things (i.e. sin) that prevent us from really enjoying life to its fullest.
And, finally, there is one other amazing benefit to letting others into our lives. It isn’t just about us, this vulnerability stuff. It isn’t just about us feeling better about ourselves, although this is huge. When I make myself vulnerable to someone I can trust, I do two things that are others-centered and a huge blessing to them. First, I’m giving the person I’m being vulnerable with permission to act on behalf of the God of the universe (1 Peter 4:11). This is a huge way to actually give to the person we are asking help from. This might sound counter-intuitive, but by asking for their help, we are actually giving to them. In this way, it isn’t just for me, but for them. This is awesome. Second, I’m giving to the person I’m tempted to sin against. I’m not just calling a friend of mine to help me stop from going off on my spouse so that I don’t have to reap the consequences for such an action. I’m making myself vulnerable so that I can go back to my spouse in a loving way even though there is conflict that needs to be resolved and relationship that needs to be restored. This is also others-centered and also awesome.
Therefore, exposing ourselves to the light and being vulnerable as discussed in 1 John is not just about making my life more satisfying, but it is about giving to others as well. In fact, we might say that in giving to others that this is what makes our lives more satisfying in the first place.
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A reminder: For those who place their faith in Christ, we must remember that no matter how we perform, God's love and approval of us is constant and a never-changing 100%. There are a bizzillion amount of times that we will fail to live in the light according to 1 John, chapter 1. The point in following the wisdom of 1 John, chapter 1 isn't to gain God's approval, rather it is to mature and enjoy the lives God has given us and those around us. Also, because Christ lived in the light with the Father 100% of the time, then when I live in the light as well, I'm living out of who God says I am, "Christ-in-so-in-so". This identification is a huge joy.
My pastor's assertion (and mine as well) is that God is not one to work in this way. His love endorses our personhood and individual decision making. He is not going to use the physical pain of an electric-dog-collar to prevent us from committing sin. This would make us robots. However, I do believe there is something that God does do when we are about to sin that is similar to the electric-dog-collar, yet worlds apart in its nature. I believe it is worlds apart because it is the kind of help He offers that appeals to our identity in Christ rather than our performanced-based-old-nature. I think my teaching pastor would also agree. Let me explain.
I find that when I am tempted to sin, there is this part of me that knows I need to share it with someone else in my life that I trust. This part of me (I believe) is God telling me which direction is the way out. In 1 John it says, “7But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all[b] sin. 8If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
One part of the way out (i.e. what purifies us from all unrighteousness) is to find a few trusted others with whom I can be transparent and vulnerable when I face temptation. For example, when I feel like going off on my spouse because I’m feeling resentful to them, this is a good time to call a trusted friend and say, “Friend, I’m ready to go off on my spouse right now.” This exposure and vulnerability breaks a lot of the power in the temptation to retaliate in such a situation. Also, a close friend who knows our sin patterns is able to help us see the situation a little more objectively and remind us that we are doing such a great job by trusting God in the situation and living out our true nature in Christ. Then, once we cool down, we can move towards our spouse in a much more healthy way (i.e. from who we really are in Christ), rather than being so reactionary. Of course, there are lots of other examples of sin, but I mention the above as a general example.
When we let a mature, trusted other into our lives in such a way, we are literally letting God into our lives. This is humility. This is the power to break sin. Making ourselves transparent and vulnerable with a mature, trusted other is the electric-dog-collar of another nature that God offers to us when we are tempted to sin. He won’t shock us, so as to force us into not sinning. Rather, He will give us a loving hug-reminder (usually a thought in our head) that we are a phone call or coffee rendezvous away from bringing our temptation into the light with a brother or sister in the faith. This faith-based and freedom-of-choice based hug-and-affirmation-collar is one of the major ways God is working with us to resolve the things (i.e. sin) that prevent us from really enjoying life to its fullest.
And, finally, there is one other amazing benefit to letting others into our lives. It isn’t just about us, this vulnerability stuff. It isn’t just about us feeling better about ourselves, although this is huge. When I make myself vulnerable to someone I can trust, I do two things that are others-centered and a huge blessing to them. First, I’m giving the person I’m being vulnerable with permission to act on behalf of the God of the universe (1 Peter 4:11). This is a huge way to actually give to the person we are asking help from. This might sound counter-intuitive, but by asking for their help, we are actually giving to them. In this way, it isn’t just for me, but for them. This is awesome. Second, I’m giving to the person I’m tempted to sin against. I’m not just calling a friend of mine to help me stop from going off on my spouse so that I don’t have to reap the consequences for such an action. I’m making myself vulnerable so that I can go back to my spouse in a loving way even though there is conflict that needs to be resolved and relationship that needs to be restored. This is also others-centered and also awesome.
Therefore, exposing ourselves to the light and being vulnerable as discussed in 1 John is not just about making my life more satisfying, but it is about giving to others as well. In fact, we might say that in giving to others that this is what makes our lives more satisfying in the first place.
_____________________________________
A reminder: For those who place their faith in Christ, we must remember that no matter how we perform, God's love and approval of us is constant and a never-changing 100%. There are a bizzillion amount of times that we will fail to live in the light according to 1 John, chapter 1. The point in following the wisdom of 1 John, chapter 1 isn't to gain God's approval, rather it is to mature and enjoy the lives God has given us and those around us. Also, because Christ lived in the light with the Father 100% of the time, then when I live in the light as well, I'm living out of who God says I am, "Christ-in-so-in-so". This identification is a huge joy.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Why would anyone in their right mind want to resolve sin?
Sin shuts down our hearts. It is the by-product of isolation and self-protection. It is the master of broken relationships. It is a simple turning away from God which turns into a complex and warped sense of reality, which God never intended for us to live. Sin is something that causes us and others deep pain and horrible scars that affect the entire storyline of our lives.
Yet, like the apostle Paul, I must admit that there is this great inertia or part of me that wants to continue to sin. I find myself falling into the old sin patterns and I begin to ask myself, “Why do I continue to do these things and why don’t I want to resolve these sin patterns?”
In all reality, the effects of sin are so devastating that in our heart of hearts, we desperately want to be rid of this negative side—this old nature. The problem is we face a part of us that includes incorrect motivations to resolve sin in the first place. Some of these are: looking good in front of others, getting what I want from God, getting what I want from my husband or wife or children, a desire to avoid shame or embarrassment, proving myself to me or God or others, avoiding the negative so I don’t have to feel bad any longer, and appeasing God to keep Him off my back.
Recently, it has occurred to me that as I’ve trusted God and we’ve begun working on my sin together, that I’ve found myself affirming others more often in my conversations. I’ve begun to see the image of God reflected in them or even seen Christ in them, and I’ve begun to tell them that I see Him inside of them or that they reflect the image of God. I’ve been able to see the risks in relationships that friends are taking, the leadership that they’ve demonstrated with their spouses or children, or pointed out the compassion I see that they have for others. It’s as if by my trusting God to work on my sin that I now see Him more clearly in the lives of those around me. The process of resolving sin slowly takes away this dullness which clouds my ability to see the good in others and affirm them with complements that I believe are truly from God Himself.
Bottom line: I want to come into the light, take off my masks of control and self-protection, receive love, stop trying to manage my sin, allow others to help me with my sin and weaknesses, forgive and be forgiven, and allow God to work alongside of me in the process of resolving sin because it transforms me into a man who can give, serve, love, protect, affirm, and tell others who they really are. For me, this has been so much fun and I’ve been able to have little spurts of joy when these things happen.
Before, I was so wrapped up in my own self-based motives for resolving sin that I could never see that the process of resolving my sin is primarily so that I can enter the lives of others and infect them with the kind of “Good Infection” that C.S. Lewis talks about. Christ in me stirs up Christ in those around me. He reaches out to those who are lost. He does acts of service, words of encouragement, hugs those who need to be hugged, and spends time quality time with others.
I myself oscillate between these two motives—self-based and others based. His dreams for me are that I would believe who He says I am already in-Christ and that I would see that the end-goal is for me to rub that belief off onto others. Jesus says in the Beatitudes, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” Resolving sin in the here-and-now is motivated by my desire to see God in others and in my circumstances, whereby I see His glory. Without resolving sin, I have no ability to rub off His nature onto those around me in any way that might be called effective, because I have a hard time seeing Him inside of or reflected off of them in the first place.
One thing I want to be very clear about is that I haven't come very far yet. I still have lots of sin issues that need healing. The time line isn't what matters to God. What matters is that I've begun to get into the process of trusting God with my sin and that has allowed me to see Him in those around me. In conclusion, my joy to tell others who they really are (through word and deed) is one major reason I ask God to take me through the process of resolving my sin in the here-and-now. It is like taking off blinders that allows me more and more to see the reality of God in His true light.
Yet, like the apostle Paul, I must admit that there is this great inertia or part of me that wants to continue to sin. I find myself falling into the old sin patterns and I begin to ask myself, “Why do I continue to do these things and why don’t I want to resolve these sin patterns?”
In all reality, the effects of sin are so devastating that in our heart of hearts, we desperately want to be rid of this negative side—this old nature. The problem is we face a part of us that includes incorrect motivations to resolve sin in the first place. Some of these are: looking good in front of others, getting what I want from God, getting what I want from my husband or wife or children, a desire to avoid shame or embarrassment, proving myself to me or God or others, avoiding the negative so I don’t have to feel bad any longer, and appeasing God to keep Him off my back.
Recently, it has occurred to me that as I’ve trusted God and we’ve begun working on my sin together, that I’ve found myself affirming others more often in my conversations. I’ve begun to see the image of God reflected in them or even seen Christ in them, and I’ve begun to tell them that I see Him inside of them or that they reflect the image of God. I’ve been able to see the risks in relationships that friends are taking, the leadership that they’ve demonstrated with their spouses or children, or pointed out the compassion I see that they have for others. It’s as if by my trusting God to work on my sin that I now see Him more clearly in the lives of those around me. The process of resolving sin slowly takes away this dullness which clouds my ability to see the good in others and affirm them with complements that I believe are truly from God Himself.
Bottom line: I want to come into the light, take off my masks of control and self-protection, receive love, stop trying to manage my sin, allow others to help me with my sin and weaknesses, forgive and be forgiven, and allow God to work alongside of me in the process of resolving sin because it transforms me into a man who can give, serve, love, protect, affirm, and tell others who they really are. For me, this has been so much fun and I’ve been able to have little spurts of joy when these things happen.
Before, I was so wrapped up in my own self-based motives for resolving sin that I could never see that the process of resolving my sin is primarily so that I can enter the lives of others and infect them with the kind of “Good Infection” that C.S. Lewis talks about. Christ in me stirs up Christ in those around me. He reaches out to those who are lost. He does acts of service, words of encouragement, hugs those who need to be hugged, and spends time quality time with others.
I myself oscillate between these two motives—self-based and others based. His dreams for me are that I would believe who He says I am already in-Christ and that I would see that the end-goal is for me to rub that belief off onto others. Jesus says in the Beatitudes, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” Resolving sin in the here-and-now is motivated by my desire to see God in others and in my circumstances, whereby I see His glory. Without resolving sin, I have no ability to rub off His nature onto those around me in any way that might be called effective, because I have a hard time seeing Him inside of or reflected off of them in the first place.
One thing I want to be very clear about is that I haven't come very far yet. I still have lots of sin issues that need healing. The time line isn't what matters to God. What matters is that I've begun to get into the process of trusting God with my sin and that has allowed me to see Him in those around me. In conclusion, my joy to tell others who they really are (through word and deed) is one major reason I ask God to take me through the process of resolving my sin in the here-and-now. It is like taking off blinders that allows me more and more to see the reality of God in His true light.
Friday, July 24, 2009
I had Coffee with God the other Day. His Name was Chris.
I had coffee with God the other day. His name was Chris. Chris is a fellow believer in Christ and for some reason that evening, I realized that because he carries Christ inside of him that I was literally sitting in the presence of God. Low and behold, we had a great evening.
Seriously, think about it. If those of us who trust God’s heart (to rescue us through the cross) really do have the God of the universe living inside of us, then isn’t it true that every time I meet with someone for coffee, for example, like my friend Chris the other night, that I am literally sitting next to God and having a conversation with Him? Now, let’s not get all uptight with the language I’m using here. I don’t mean that my friend Chris “is” God, but rather that God, through Christ, lives inside of him. His new name is Christ-in-Chris. My new name is Christ-in-Steven. This means that Christ lives inside of me (and also anyone else who cares to call Him the God of the universe). Take this to its logical conclusion and we have to admit that in a certain sense, anyone who comes into contact with me or Chris or any other believer is literally standing in the presence of God. We simply put a face to His presence.
Of course, God is omnipresent. This means that he is everywhere all at one time or at least He is able to be everywhere all at one time, or something like this. I don’t really know how it works. But, in addition to that, for some reason we also must acknowledge that there is a special way in which He is reconciling the world to Himself through those of us who carry Him in us as believers. Those who stand in our presence, therefore, stand in the presence of God in a particular and a unique way. They stand in the presence of Christ-in-Steven or Christ-in-Chris.
This is completely and unequivocally lacking pride in any way. When I think about the fact that anyone around me stands in the presence of Christ-inside-of-me, it actually creates a separation between me and God and this gives Him total credit for any positive influence I bring to the other person. This profound influence I have on others is based on Him. Yet, it must also be said that my understanding that God lives inside of me and is influencing those around me also brings a profound sense of affirmation that the God of the universe is pleased to dwell within me. He has no reservations for doing so. He is pleased with me as I trust Him to live His life through me and proud of the influence I have on those around me. In this sense, I feel a stronger connection to God, despite the increased understanding of His separateness, as well. Tricky, isn't it?
Therefore, let us remember that we carry Christ everywhere we go and that even on our worst day, those around us stand in His presence in a unique way. God chooses to put on our face in reaching out to those around us.
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Some of these ideas from the next to last paragraph are lightly taken from a sermon last weekend, but the main idea of this blog entry is something I've stumbled upon over the past couple weeks in reflecting on my meetings with other believers.
Seriously, think about it. If those of us who trust God’s heart (to rescue us through the cross) really do have the God of the universe living inside of us, then isn’t it true that every time I meet with someone for coffee, for example, like my friend Chris the other night, that I am literally sitting next to God and having a conversation with Him? Now, let’s not get all uptight with the language I’m using here. I don’t mean that my friend Chris “is” God, but rather that God, through Christ, lives inside of him. His new name is Christ-in-Chris. My new name is Christ-in-Steven. This means that Christ lives inside of me (and also anyone else who cares to call Him the God of the universe). Take this to its logical conclusion and we have to admit that in a certain sense, anyone who comes into contact with me or Chris or any other believer is literally standing in the presence of God. We simply put a face to His presence.
Of course, God is omnipresent. This means that he is everywhere all at one time or at least He is able to be everywhere all at one time, or something like this. I don’t really know how it works. But, in addition to that, for some reason we also must acknowledge that there is a special way in which He is reconciling the world to Himself through those of us who carry Him in us as believers. Those who stand in our presence, therefore, stand in the presence of God in a particular and a unique way. They stand in the presence of Christ-in-Steven or Christ-in-Chris.
This is completely and unequivocally lacking pride in any way. When I think about the fact that anyone around me stands in the presence of Christ-inside-of-me, it actually creates a separation between me and God and this gives Him total credit for any positive influence I bring to the other person. This profound influence I have on others is based on Him. Yet, it must also be said that my understanding that God lives inside of me and is influencing those around me also brings a profound sense of affirmation that the God of the universe is pleased to dwell within me. He has no reservations for doing so. He is pleased with me as I trust Him to live His life through me and proud of the influence I have on those around me. In this sense, I feel a stronger connection to God, despite the increased understanding of His separateness, as well. Tricky, isn't it?
Therefore, let us remember that we carry Christ everywhere we go and that even on our worst day, those around us stand in His presence in a unique way. God chooses to put on our face in reaching out to those around us.
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Some of these ideas from the next to last paragraph are lightly taken from a sermon last weekend, but the main idea of this blog entry is something I've stumbled upon over the past couple weeks in reflecting on my meetings with other believers.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
The Misunderstanding of Romans 12:2
In Romans 12:2 it says, “2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind."
I used to think this verse meant “get your act together and stop sinning.” I spent years trying to apply the verse in this way. But what if getting our acts together and stopping sin wasn't even the point behind this verse? What if the point wasn't to stop sinning, but to transform our minds? And, what is it that leads to the transforming of our minds in the first place? Is it that we stop sinning? No. We will always do that. No amount of keeping the moral law will transform our minds. In fact, it is just the opposite. The more I focus on trying to keep the moral law, the more I will break it. Try to stop thinking about a pink elephant and see what happens.
The opposite of focusing on keeping the moral law is that I find myself turning to God and realizing who He says I am. He says I'm 100% forgiven already. He says I'm a saint. He says I'm His chosen one. He puts His arm around me in my deepest, darkest moment and says, "Son (or daughter), I'm here with you. You are in the middle of sin this very moment, but I'm here with you because I no longer count it against you. In fact, I stripped it away from you. Now, we are onto the process of healing you from the damage you have done and will do to yourself and others. This is now about healing now."
The world (and even more often the church) tells us that the pattern we must follow in order to be transformed into godliness is by sinning less and getting our act together. God tells us that the pattern we must follow in order to be transformed into godliness is truly recognizing that we have already been transformed into a godly creature by Him.* In this way our underlying beliefs about God's character and His value in us is what must be transformed, not our behavior. We must know that God thinks we are worth everything. The extent to which we know this about His character is the extent to which we see how glorious He is.
Over time, when we look in hindsight, we will periodically recognize how our behavior has changed as well. The changed behavior, however, only reflects the transformation that has already occurred by the renewing of our minds.
The world (and even more often the church) tells us that the pattern we must follow in order to be transformed into godliness is by sinning less and getting our act together. God tells us that the pattern we must follow in order to be transformed into godliness is truly recognizing that we have already been transformed into a godly creature by Him.* In this way our underlying beliefs about God's character and His value in us is what must be transformed, not our behavior. We must know that God thinks we are worth everything. The extent to which we know this about His character is the extent to which we see how glorious He is.
Over time, when we look in hindsight, we will periodically recognize how our behavior has changed as well. The changed behavior, however, only reflects the transformation that has already occurred by the renewing of our minds.
2011 addendum: About 6 months ago, I began to think of transforming my behavior in light of a transformed mind. What does this look like? One thing I have begun to do is to try to do good instead of eliminating sin. I can't defeat sin. But, I can focus on doing good. Thus, we don't break out of sin patterns and cycles by stopping them. We break out of them by doing good in the middle of them. We focus on the good. Then, I believe, the sin patterns begin to change over time. Currently, I'm making better decisions than ever before. Why? I'm focusing on doing good instead of trying to eliminate sin. This is a mindset that lives under grace.
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*This is the pattern of grace versus the pattern of legalism. I might as well summarize the whole blog entry by simply saying Romans 12:2 could be translated/interpreted as saying, "Do not conform to legalism, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind."
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*This is the pattern of grace versus the pattern of legalism. I might as well summarize the whole blog entry by simply saying Romans 12:2 could be translated/interpreted as saying, "Do not conform to legalism, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind."
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Risk Taking is a Risky Business, Especially in Pakistan. Or, is it?
About 120 men* and I got on some airplanes and headed off to Pakistan in December 2006. An earthquake had killed 80,000 people (and destroyed the homes of so many) both in the cities and mountainous regions. Our assignment was to build as many shelters as possible in the mountains before the winter snow came. It was truly a “Wild at Heart” experience for those of you who are familiar with that book by John Eldridge.
I was on what we called the “third wave” or third group out of the 120. The first risk we encountered (even before our departure) was not one I'd anticipated ahead of time. We were getting reports that men on the first two waves were arriving without their gear and without their clothing. It sort of got lost in the airline-baggage-shuffle. Guys were out there, bumming clothes and food off others, sort of like soldiers in D-Day who lost weapons and ammo on the drop (Not nearly the desperation of D-Day, by any means, of course). We all got on the plane and prayed we’d receive our luggage on the other side.
The second risk was more personal. My knee had been severely bothering me. I didn't know the source of the pain, but it was real and it was freaking me out, thinking about hiking and working at four to eight thousand feet. I’d procrastinated seeing a doctor and this shelter building trip came up too quickly to see a doctor before we left. I was fully funded and ready to go, but I was afraid I might tear an ACL or something hiking up those mountains. I confided in two friends of mine (also on the trip) for their advice. They encouraged me to go as far as I could. Get me at least to the base camp, even if I couldn't work. Or, if was working and something snapped, they told me they'd carry me back down if they needed to. Talk about a couple of guys who had my back; or, my knee, for that matter.
The other risks were sickness, fatigue, radical religious people who might not like us, and finally all of the mysteriousness of residing among the mountain people of Pakistan for a week. The most difficult risk for married men was being away from their loved ones for such an extended period of time and the strain that meant to their relationships.
To tell you the truth, we all fell victim to every single one of these risks, at one point or another. Several lost their luggage, a number of us (including myself) got sick, men who missed their wives looked like sick dogs, and everyone was physically strained. One of the men from a previous group had a heart attack and died on the mountain.
What happened to my knee? All along the plane flight it had been hurting even more than before and I thought for sure I had committed some sort of wrong doing by bringing my hurt knee out there to get me into a jam that others would have to care for. Not to mention either that others had funded me for this humanitarian aid action and I thought maybe I was even morally wrong for taking my bad knee and their money.
I've had this weird/irrational sense of moral "wrongness" too in pursuing relationships, as if I'd be morally wrong in pursing them because I might hurt the other person. Or, what if we never had children because we thought we might hurt them? The human race would vanish.
Getting back to the story, I couldn't help but think of my two friends who had encouraged me to go, volunteered to haul me out of there, and thought that it was better for me to go than not to go. Thank God I listened to their advice. Not so much for the results, but because I let them help me, protect me, and meet my need in that moment. Essentially, I had let them love me.
What happened to my knee? It got better. The more I hiked up the mountain, the better it got. The more I worked, the better it got. I checked my knee out later with a doctor and X-ray results showed a minor case of arthritis in my left knee. The mountain essentially rehabilitated my knee.
Risk taking. It's a risky business, especially in Pakistan.
Or, is it? What is the riskier thing to do--build shelters in Pakistan and risk physical harm, or the risks we take in relationships with husbands, wives, children, church, business, and our own hearts? When I trust someone enough to risk letting them help me in an area of my life that I cannot, then that is some serious risk taking. I risk getting taken advantage of, betrayed, or at best, misunderstood or finding someone who doesn't know how to help me. The old patterns want to take over. I want to run, hide, and protect myself from a violation of such trust in the future. I won't risk relationships with others, the very thing that I need the most.
Finally, there is a payoff. When I find others I can trust with who I really am, then I can begin to heal by receiving their love. Just like I allowed my friends to encourage me to get on the plane with my hurting knee (which was then rehabilitated) so too I must take the risk of finding those who I can trust to help me with my "spiritually broken knees". This is the greatest risk taking of all.
Do you have a couple others who can help you get on the plane with your huring knee or your hurting spirit? If not, then you gotta find them.**
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*I can't actually remember the exact number.
**For help on how to do this, read "True Faced: Trusting God and others with who you really are" by Thrall, McNichol, & Lynch. Also, "Making Small Groups Work" by Cloud and Townsend is a huge help.
I was on what we called the “third wave” or third group out of the 120. The first risk we encountered (even before our departure) was not one I'd anticipated ahead of time. We were getting reports that men on the first two waves were arriving without their gear and without their clothing. It sort of got lost in the airline-baggage-shuffle. Guys were out there, bumming clothes and food off others, sort of like soldiers in D-Day who lost weapons and ammo on the drop (Not nearly the desperation of D-Day, by any means, of course). We all got on the plane and prayed we’d receive our luggage on the other side.
The second risk was more personal. My knee had been severely bothering me. I didn't know the source of the pain, but it was real and it was freaking me out, thinking about hiking and working at four to eight thousand feet. I’d procrastinated seeing a doctor and this shelter building trip came up too quickly to see a doctor before we left. I was fully funded and ready to go, but I was afraid I might tear an ACL or something hiking up those mountains. I confided in two friends of mine (also on the trip) for their advice. They encouraged me to go as far as I could. Get me at least to the base camp, even if I couldn't work. Or, if was working and something snapped, they told me they'd carry me back down if they needed to. Talk about a couple of guys who had my back; or, my knee, for that matter.
The other risks were sickness, fatigue, radical religious people who might not like us, and finally all of the mysteriousness of residing among the mountain people of Pakistan for a week. The most difficult risk for married men was being away from their loved ones for such an extended period of time and the strain that meant to their relationships.
To tell you the truth, we all fell victim to every single one of these risks, at one point or another. Several lost their luggage, a number of us (including myself) got sick, men who missed their wives looked like sick dogs, and everyone was physically strained. One of the men from a previous group had a heart attack and died on the mountain.
What happened to my knee? All along the plane flight it had been hurting even more than before and I thought for sure I had committed some sort of wrong doing by bringing my hurt knee out there to get me into a jam that others would have to care for. Not to mention either that others had funded me for this humanitarian aid action and I thought maybe I was even morally wrong for taking my bad knee and their money.
I've had this weird/irrational sense of moral "wrongness" too in pursuing relationships, as if I'd be morally wrong in pursing them because I might hurt the other person. Or, what if we never had children because we thought we might hurt them? The human race would vanish.
Getting back to the story, I couldn't help but think of my two friends who had encouraged me to go, volunteered to haul me out of there, and thought that it was better for me to go than not to go. Thank God I listened to their advice. Not so much for the results, but because I let them help me, protect me, and meet my need in that moment. Essentially, I had let them love me.
What happened to my knee? It got better. The more I hiked up the mountain, the better it got. The more I worked, the better it got. I checked my knee out later with a doctor and X-ray results showed a minor case of arthritis in my left knee. The mountain essentially rehabilitated my knee.
Risk taking. It's a risky business, especially in Pakistan.
Or, is it? What is the riskier thing to do--build shelters in Pakistan and risk physical harm, or the risks we take in relationships with husbands, wives, children, church, business, and our own hearts? When I trust someone enough to risk letting them help me in an area of my life that I cannot, then that is some serious risk taking. I risk getting taken advantage of, betrayed, or at best, misunderstood or finding someone who doesn't know how to help me. The old patterns want to take over. I want to run, hide, and protect myself from a violation of such trust in the future. I won't risk relationships with others, the very thing that I need the most.
Finally, there is a payoff. When I find others I can trust with who I really am, then I can begin to heal by receiving their love. Just like I allowed my friends to encourage me to get on the plane with my hurting knee (which was then rehabilitated) so too I must take the risk of finding those who I can trust to help me with my "spiritually broken knees". This is the greatest risk taking of all.
Do you have a couple others who can help you get on the plane with your huring knee or your hurting spirit? If not, then you gotta find them.**
______________________________________
*I can't actually remember the exact number.
**For help on how to do this, read "True Faced: Trusting God and others with who you really are" by Thrall, McNichol, & Lynch. Also, "Making Small Groups Work" by Cloud and Townsend is a huge help.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Friendship is Something Valuable
[The following is a 3 page paper that one of my tutoring students wrote for her English 101 class. She's trying to communicate her ideas to us in her second language. I think it is a great story!]
During my life I have been learning that friendship is when you share your experiences, talk about everything with someone important in your life and express your love for that person in many ways. Until now I did not notice that I have to take care of my relationships. Sometimes there are obstacles in the way that can affect relationships and this is how many problems between friends begin. Generally speaking, in life, when people feel embarrassed from conflicts with each other they want to run away. Sometimes they need help from another to take that big step and resolve what one cannot do on their own. This is an example of how my friend helps me to get over big obstacles, in some conflicts I was having.
I met Sonia couple semesters ago. We have been friends for almost three years. Our relationship is very good. I am proud of her and pleased that I have her as a friend. But not everything is sweet in this life.
Last year Sonia went to Mexico and she stayed there six months. During that semester I made some friends and it was a nice group. She had a good relationship with one of my friends, Luz. She was pregnant and she had her baby three months ago. This is how the problem started. A friend of us named Luz had her baby. She called me after and she sent me a picture of her little boy. Sonia felt bad because Luz did not send her a picture of her baby. The next day, Sonia called and invited me to go to the hospital to visit Luz. I was really busy that day so I told her that I would give her a call back if I had time. My father and my mother took me to the hospital for half an hour, so that I would not have to go the next day.
At night, I chatted with Sonia as I did every day. Then, I told her that I was in the hospital with Luz for a half an hour. She started saying that she waited for my call all day. I did not think that it was a big problem and I ignored all of her words saying that it was not my problem that she did not have a good day. In her words, she said that the people she thought were her friends were not.
In that moment, I shut down my computer because it was not the best moment to talk. I thought that we could talk later. But the later never came. Time passed and we did not talk anymore. She ignored me all the time and I did the same thing. During this time, I went through a lot of emotions. I felt sad because I missed her as a friend. I felt angry for having this trouble with her. But also, I had the hope that we would talk again.
Days later, I was talking to my friend Rosa. She is my coworker and we have good relationship. I told her that Sonia was my friend and how nice our relationship was. Also, in the conversation I told her about the problem we had experienced. She asked me why I did not talk to her. I said, “why me?” She was the one that decided to stop talking. She was the person that has to talk to me to apologize Rosa said, “If you think that Sonia is a good friend then talk to her about what happened. You have nothing to lose”. Rosa’s advice touched me. It seemed that Rosa had knowledge in her words. She told me some similar experiences that she had before.
My birthday was coming and I decided to call Sonia because I wanted her to spend the day with me. I was afraid. The next day, I saw her online. I decided to say “Hi!” She did reply and we have a long conversation about what happened. Also we fixed that problem talking. She accepted that she was the one that made this problem bigger. We both agreed that something that ridiculous we should not end our friendship. Our relationship is more valuable than these little problems which then become bigger and bigger. After that we started talking about what happened with each other during that time. I saw her the next week and we acted as if nothing ever happened.
We are still friends and I feel happy. It does not matter if I was the one that decided to take the first step. The important thing is that everything is fine. Now we know that if we have any kind of problems we had to talk about it in that moment and not to wait because we can lose moments and experiences together. We both learned that friendship cannot end for something absurd. Friendship is built on trust, love, patience and tolerance. In a larger sense, people help to see another person’s problems from a different point of view. They help open each other’s eyes when necessary. Fear, shame, and embarrassment are feeling that sometimes we cannot get over by ourselves, and we need each other. This goes for conflict as well as other problems we face.
During my life I have been learning that friendship is when you share your experiences, talk about everything with someone important in your life and express your love for that person in many ways. Until now I did not notice that I have to take care of my relationships. Sometimes there are obstacles in the way that can affect relationships and this is how many problems between friends begin. Generally speaking, in life, when people feel embarrassed from conflicts with each other they want to run away. Sometimes they need help from another to take that big step and resolve what one cannot do on their own. This is an example of how my friend helps me to get over big obstacles, in some conflicts I was having.
I met Sonia couple semesters ago. We have been friends for almost three years. Our relationship is very good. I am proud of her and pleased that I have her as a friend. But not everything is sweet in this life.
Last year Sonia went to Mexico and she stayed there six months. During that semester I made some friends and it was a nice group. She had a good relationship with one of my friends, Luz. She was pregnant and she had her baby three months ago. This is how the problem started. A friend of us named Luz had her baby. She called me after and she sent me a picture of her little boy. Sonia felt bad because Luz did not send her a picture of her baby. The next day, Sonia called and invited me to go to the hospital to visit Luz. I was really busy that day so I told her that I would give her a call back if I had time. My father and my mother took me to the hospital for half an hour, so that I would not have to go the next day.
At night, I chatted with Sonia as I did every day. Then, I told her that I was in the hospital with Luz for a half an hour. She started saying that she waited for my call all day. I did not think that it was a big problem and I ignored all of her words saying that it was not my problem that she did not have a good day. In her words, she said that the people she thought were her friends were not.
In that moment, I shut down my computer because it was not the best moment to talk. I thought that we could talk later. But the later never came. Time passed and we did not talk anymore. She ignored me all the time and I did the same thing. During this time, I went through a lot of emotions. I felt sad because I missed her as a friend. I felt angry for having this trouble with her. But also, I had the hope that we would talk again.
Days later, I was talking to my friend Rosa. She is my coworker and we have good relationship. I told her that Sonia was my friend and how nice our relationship was. Also, in the conversation I told her about the problem we had experienced. She asked me why I did not talk to her. I said, “why me?” She was the one that decided to stop talking. She was the person that has to talk to me to apologize Rosa said, “If you think that Sonia is a good friend then talk to her about what happened. You have nothing to lose”. Rosa’s advice touched me. It seemed that Rosa had knowledge in her words. She told me some similar experiences that she had before.
My birthday was coming and I decided to call Sonia because I wanted her to spend the day with me. I was afraid. The next day, I saw her online. I decided to say “Hi!” She did reply and we have a long conversation about what happened. Also we fixed that problem talking. She accepted that she was the one that made this problem bigger. We both agreed that something that ridiculous we should not end our friendship. Our relationship is more valuable than these little problems which then become bigger and bigger. After that we started talking about what happened with each other during that time. I saw her the next week and we acted as if nothing ever happened.
We are still friends and I feel happy. It does not matter if I was the one that decided to take the first step. The important thing is that everything is fine. Now we know that if we have any kind of problems we had to talk about it in that moment and not to wait because we can lose moments and experiences together. We both learned that friendship cannot end for something absurd. Friendship is built on trust, love, patience and tolerance. In a larger sense, people help to see another person’s problems from a different point of view. They help open each other’s eyes when necessary. Fear, shame, and embarrassment are feeling that sometimes we cannot get over by ourselves, and we need each other. This goes for conflict as well as other problems we face.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Young Lucy Takes on a Life and Death Assignment
[You may not be interested in this blog entry unless you've read Voyage of the Dawn Treader. You may not be interested anyway, since this entry is rather long.]
Young Lucy took on an assignment, in Voyage of the Dawn Treader by C.S. Lewis, in order to save the lives of her friends. Invisible creatures threatened to kill her, Edmund, Prince Caspian, Reepicheep, and the other members of their party if she did not march up the stairs of a two story house, locate a book of magic, and find the spell to make all invisible things visible. A magician who lived in the house was also invisible and so it was believed that Lucy would be risking her life to save the others, because he could attack her without any warning. The invisible creatures were tired of being invisible, were afraid to go into the house for fear of the magician, and for various reasons required a young girl, who happened to be Lucy, to go in and read the spell to make them visible once again. They threatened to kill all of the crew, if she failed to do this task. We find out later that the magician is a good person and wouldn’t harm Lucy, but that doesn’t matter because it was the fear she had to face before knowing this that made it such a heroic and terrifying act.
On a side note, it is important here to see the distinction between the tension in the plot and the underlying story that is being told. The plot obstacles are the fears she faces and the fact that she needs to find and read the spell to make all invisible things visible, or she and her friends die. This is the overt conflict in the story between Lucy (and her friends) versus the invisible creatures they can’t fight against.
There is an underlying story or metaphor that is occurring here, however, and it has to do with the following question: Why is Lewis using this idea of making all invisible things visible? Is there a second layer? The answer is yes and we’ll see this as I tread through the rest of the story.
Lucy enters the house, goes upstairs, and locates the magic book. She turns the pages but there is no table of contents. There are no words for that matter. They simply begin to appear as she turns each page, one by one. She can’t skip to the spell she needs to recite. Thus, she must read through all these other spells. In fact, these spells are very tempting. She learns how to cure people of all sorts of ailments, how to see what other people think about her, how to make her the most beautiful woman in the world (at least more beautiful than her older sister, Susan), and even reads the most wonderful story ever written, which she then forgets. Unfortunately, she does read the spell that allows her to see what her friends think of her and it is horrible. She misunderstands what one of her friends says about her and she feels shame, anger, and pain. The face of Aslan the Lion (the Christ-like figure in this book) seems to jump out from the page at her after she forces herself to fall victim to the temptation to read this spell and she quickly turns the page.
What I find so amazing and true to the human condition at this point in the story is that Lucy is distracted by these other pleasures or abilities in the magic book when, in reality, the lives of her and her friends are at stake. I think of the many addictions we face in life (both physical and psychological addictions) and how we risk our very spiritual, physical, and emotional lives in satisfying our pleasures in these distractions. Lewis is dead on in describing the human inclination towards sabotage. No pun intended.
Finally, Lucy locates and reads the spell which makes all invisible things visible. After reading it, she turns around to walk out the door and Aslan the Lion (the Christ-like figure) is standing in the doorway. She runs into his mane and they embrace. She says, “Why didn’t you appear before?” He says, “You made all things visible and I was always here with you.”
If it were just this simple that Lewis was trying to show us through Lucy that we often think God is not present when he is invisible, then it would still be a good story. But, the metaphor goes a little further, I believe. Not only is God present always even though He is invisible, but there is a lesson here to be learned about how the reasons for doing things are so often invisible, but once we go on with doing them that these reasons become visible afterwards.
Lucy, for example, probably faced all sorts of fears, second guessing, and analyzing of her situation as she walked through the house and up the stairs, in order to find the magical book. In fact, we know this from Lewis's description of her journey up those stairs. At any time, she might have freaked out and left. Had she done so, she would have felt embarrassed, ashamed, and afraid to return to her friends, especially since she knew it meant their deaths. Most likely, she would have run away into the forest in an attempt to hide her shame and escape her fate. Thank goodness, Lucy didn't do this and pressed forward, trusting that all would work out for the better. In the end, when all things became visible, she found not only that Aslan was there with her all along, but she also discovered many of the reasons why the other creatures were invisible, along with the good nature of the magician, and she also discovered the horrible things she was capable of while reading through the book.
What I'm trying to say here, is that Lucy never knew exactly why she had to go through this particular assignment until after it was over. Once she actually went through with it, ALL THINGS BECAME VISIBLE, EVEN THE REASONS SHE HAD TO GO THROUGH IT IN THE FIRST PLACE.
In our own lives, we often hear the expression hindsight is 20/20. I myself have taken many personal risks in this past year that have gone against the internal, dysfunctional, and unbiblical rules of my heart. Each time I have taken such a risk, it feels like I've been asked to do what Lucy was asked to do. I feel like I might die, especially because I don't know what the consequences will be. God is odd to me because He sets tasks before us that we have to accomplish without telling us the results, ahead of time. In the end, I actually have to trust Him, walk into the house, go up the stairs, risk being killed by a magician I'm unacquainted with, and find the magical book. Then, once I have done so and read the spell, I find that things invisible have now been made visible. The more I try to calculate the results, the less I learn about what is really happening. This is a trust issue.
Young Lucy took on an assignment, in Voyage of the Dawn Treader by C.S. Lewis, in order to save the lives of her friends. Invisible creatures threatened to kill her, Edmund, Prince Caspian, Reepicheep, and the other members of their party if she did not march up the stairs of a two story house, locate a book of magic, and find the spell to make all invisible things visible. A magician who lived in the house was also invisible and so it was believed that Lucy would be risking her life to save the others, because he could attack her without any warning. The invisible creatures were tired of being invisible, were afraid to go into the house for fear of the magician, and for various reasons required a young girl, who happened to be Lucy, to go in and read the spell to make them visible once again. They threatened to kill all of the crew, if she failed to do this task. We find out later that the magician is a good person and wouldn’t harm Lucy, but that doesn’t matter because it was the fear she had to face before knowing this that made it such a heroic and terrifying act.
On a side note, it is important here to see the distinction between the tension in the plot and the underlying story that is being told. The plot obstacles are the fears she faces and the fact that she needs to find and read the spell to make all invisible things visible, or she and her friends die. This is the overt conflict in the story between Lucy (and her friends) versus the invisible creatures they can’t fight against.
There is an underlying story or metaphor that is occurring here, however, and it has to do with the following question: Why is Lewis using this idea of making all invisible things visible? Is there a second layer? The answer is yes and we’ll see this as I tread through the rest of the story.
Lucy enters the house, goes upstairs, and locates the magic book. She turns the pages but there is no table of contents. There are no words for that matter. They simply begin to appear as she turns each page, one by one. She can’t skip to the spell she needs to recite. Thus, she must read through all these other spells. In fact, these spells are very tempting. She learns how to cure people of all sorts of ailments, how to see what other people think about her, how to make her the most beautiful woman in the world (at least more beautiful than her older sister, Susan), and even reads the most wonderful story ever written, which she then forgets. Unfortunately, she does read the spell that allows her to see what her friends think of her and it is horrible. She misunderstands what one of her friends says about her and she feels shame, anger, and pain. The face of Aslan the Lion (the Christ-like figure in this book) seems to jump out from the page at her after she forces herself to fall victim to the temptation to read this spell and she quickly turns the page.
What I find so amazing and true to the human condition at this point in the story is that Lucy is distracted by these other pleasures or abilities in the magic book when, in reality, the lives of her and her friends are at stake. I think of the many addictions we face in life (both physical and psychological addictions) and how we risk our very spiritual, physical, and emotional lives in satisfying our pleasures in these distractions. Lewis is dead on in describing the human inclination towards sabotage. No pun intended.
Finally, Lucy locates and reads the spell which makes all invisible things visible. After reading it, she turns around to walk out the door and Aslan the Lion (the Christ-like figure) is standing in the doorway. She runs into his mane and they embrace. She says, “Why didn’t you appear before?” He says, “You made all things visible and I was always here with you.”
If it were just this simple that Lewis was trying to show us through Lucy that we often think God is not present when he is invisible, then it would still be a good story. But, the metaphor goes a little further, I believe. Not only is God present always even though He is invisible, but there is a lesson here to be learned about how the reasons for doing things are so often invisible, but once we go on with doing them that these reasons become visible afterwards.
Lucy, for example, probably faced all sorts of fears, second guessing, and analyzing of her situation as she walked through the house and up the stairs, in order to find the magical book. In fact, we know this from Lewis's description of her journey up those stairs. At any time, she might have freaked out and left. Had she done so, she would have felt embarrassed, ashamed, and afraid to return to her friends, especially since she knew it meant their deaths. Most likely, she would have run away into the forest in an attempt to hide her shame and escape her fate. Thank goodness, Lucy didn't do this and pressed forward, trusting that all would work out for the better. In the end, when all things became visible, she found not only that Aslan was there with her all along, but she also discovered many of the reasons why the other creatures were invisible, along with the good nature of the magician, and she also discovered the horrible things she was capable of while reading through the book.
What I'm trying to say here, is that Lucy never knew exactly why she had to go through this particular assignment until after it was over. Once she actually went through with it, ALL THINGS BECAME VISIBLE, EVEN THE REASONS SHE HAD TO GO THROUGH IT IN THE FIRST PLACE.
In our own lives, we often hear the expression hindsight is 20/20. I myself have taken many personal risks in this past year that have gone against the internal, dysfunctional, and unbiblical rules of my heart. Each time I have taken such a risk, it feels like I've been asked to do what Lucy was asked to do. I feel like I might die, especially because I don't know what the consequences will be. God is odd to me because He sets tasks before us that we have to accomplish without telling us the results, ahead of time. In the end, I actually have to trust Him, walk into the house, go up the stairs, risk being killed by a magician I'm unacquainted with, and find the magical book. Then, once I have done so and read the spell, I find that things invisible have now been made visible. The more I try to calculate the results, the less I learn about what is really happening. This is a trust issue.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Your Scandalous Identity
If you believe in Jesus then there’s something that seems almost scandalous about your identity.1 There’s something that's too good to be true. Your new identity seems to be, almost as if you’re getting away with something, like robbing a bank or cheating on Wall Street, without any consequences. In reality, your new identity is completely and morally legitimate, even though you are sort of getting away with something.1 This seemingly scandalous something, however, is most often covered up by your inclination towards shame and self-rejection.2 Self-rejection is something you and I both are capable of struggling with on a day-to-day basis.6 The question is: What are we gonna do about it?3
One thing to do is to remind each other about who we really are in the eyes of God.4 If you believe that God lived among us as the person of Jesus, fought and died for you at the hands of the religious leaders, took on all of your sin, rose from the dead, and literally put Himself inside of you, then there is something that has dramatically changed about who you are. What God did for you is that He turned you into someone else. He literally turned you into someone else with a new core, a new inner-being.1 Maybe it might be even better to say that He has turned you into the real you or the person you were always meant to be. The only problem is that on your own, apart from others who can remind you daily about who you really are,4 you’ll fall back into self-rejection which is the main thing that is working against you.2
The reality is that you have been given a new name to reflect the new inner-being that God has put into you. He has literally put Himself into your heart. Therefore, part of your new name includes the prefix “Christ” or “Jesus” or “God” for that matter. If Jose Garcia believes in the romantic and heroic act of God dying for him on the cross, rescuing Him from all sin, and that God has put Himself into Jose, then his new name is “Christ-in-Jose Garcia” or “Jesus-in-Jose-Garcia” or “God-in-Jose-Garcia”.
If you believe that God had the guts to stick it out for you at the cross and to turn you into a new person, then you have a new identity. You have a new name. Your new prefix is "Christ". You are "Christ-in-So-in-So".5 You are no longer just "So-in-So". That person no longer exists.
____________________________________
1Leadership Catalyst and 2 Corinthians 5:17
2Henri Nouwen, Life of the Beloved
3Bill Thrall, Sermon
4This idea of affirmation through telling each other who we really are, is most concretely lived out among a small group of men whom I spend time with each week.
5I want to clarify that I'm not saying we are one with God in the same way that Jesus is one with the Father. We are completely distinct and separate from Him, yet He lives inside of us and is working through us. We are interconnected, yet separate somehow. I'm not sure how all this works, but I just want to clarify I'm not talking about anything resembling Pan-theism or that we are able to become gods of some sort. All I know is that our new name is "Christ-in-So-in-So" and that this radically changes everything when we believe this about ourselves.
6I still do. Maybe I struggle with self-rejection less than a couple years ago (I'm adding this in 2011), but it still comes to tempt me. Self-rejection is the opposite of the gospel. The question is What am I going to do with it?
One thing to do is to remind each other about who we really are in the eyes of God.4 If you believe that God lived among us as the person of Jesus, fought and died for you at the hands of the religious leaders, took on all of your sin, rose from the dead, and literally put Himself inside of you, then there is something that has dramatically changed about who you are. What God did for you is that He turned you into someone else. He literally turned you into someone else with a new core, a new inner-being.1 Maybe it might be even better to say that He has turned you into the real you or the person you were always meant to be. The only problem is that on your own, apart from others who can remind you daily about who you really are,4 you’ll fall back into self-rejection which is the main thing that is working against you.2
The reality is that you have been given a new name to reflect the new inner-being that God has put into you. He has literally put Himself into your heart. Therefore, part of your new name includes the prefix “Christ” or “Jesus” or “God” for that matter. If Jose Garcia believes in the romantic and heroic act of God dying for him on the cross, rescuing Him from all sin, and that God has put Himself into Jose, then his new name is “Christ-in-Jose Garcia” or “Jesus-in-Jose-Garcia” or “God-in-Jose-Garcia”.
If you believe that God had the guts to stick it out for you at the cross and to turn you into a new person, then you have a new identity. You have a new name. Your new prefix is "Christ". You are "Christ-in-So-in-So".5 You are no longer just "So-in-So". That person no longer exists.
____________________________________
1Leadership Catalyst and 2 Corinthians 5:17
2Henri Nouwen, Life of the Beloved
3Bill Thrall, Sermon
4This idea of affirmation through telling each other who we really are, is most concretely lived out among a small group of men whom I spend time with each week.
5I want to clarify that I'm not saying we are one with God in the same way that Jesus is one with the Father. We are completely distinct and separate from Him, yet He lives inside of us and is working through us. We are interconnected, yet separate somehow. I'm not sure how all this works, but I just want to clarify I'm not talking about anything resembling Pan-theism or that we are able to become gods of some sort. All I know is that our new name is "Christ-in-So-in-So" and that this radically changes everything when we believe this about ourselves.
6I still do. Maybe I struggle with self-rejection less than a couple years ago (I'm adding this in 2011), but it still comes to tempt me. Self-rejection is the opposite of the gospel. The question is What am I going to do with it?
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Addressing Legalism (Part IX): Fighting Legalism is the Second Greatest Battle
I called myself “stupid” three times in front of my friend the other day. She said, “Steven, now you have to say three good things about yourself.”* This was tough, but one of the three I came up with was, “I hate legalism.”** Her reply was, “And, you love grace.”
Wow. She was right, but it clued me into something new I’ve learned about myself. I realized that I hate legalism more than I love grace. Where do I want to be? I want to love grace more than I hate legalism. Or, maybe I could say that I love grace more than anything, but that I fear it for reasons I will list below. Nevertheless, I’ve realized that the fight against legalism*** is the second greatest battle I will fight in my lifetime. The greatest battle I will ever fight is to live out grace.
The reason grace is so hard is because it involves forgiveness. The reason forgiveness is so hard is because it requires giving up a whole lot that I really don’t like giving up. When someone has hurt me or I have hurt someone else, the single most difficult thing for you and I to do is to ask for, give, or receive forgiveness from the other person. For God, it required so much that He literally died to give us His forgiveness. The scripture says we were enemies and yet He died for us. When Jesus says “Love your enemies” (Matt 5:44), He really meant it and lived it out. This is grace.
Grace as a concept sounds great, but put it into a real life situation and grace might be the very thing you hate or fear the most. When someone sins against you (even someone you love) it can feel like they are your very enemy. You want to lash out at them or go into hiding. Either way you want to try to eliminate the sin out of your shame rather than out of forgiveness. Forgiveness requires truly acknowledging what happened (offender or victim) and eliminating it through your own death (letting go of holding it against the other person****). It is literally the hardest thing in life for us to do, I believe.
When Jesus tells us to love our enemies (Matt 5:44), I don’t think we get the full scope of what He is saying. We instantly think of people we hate or dislike, but we forget that loving our enemies includes loving those closest to us when they feel like an enemy to us. We have to come out of hiding, go to them and ask for, receive and/or give forgiveness. This is the greatest battle.
_______________________________
*I wasn't in total self-pity mode, but she was giving me an opportunity to aid me in getting out of any self-pity I might have been dealing with in the moment.
**I also told her I have cool looking skater shoes and that I am creative. It was all I could come up with. I was playing false modesty at first.
***Legalism is the various sets of unwritten, unbiblical rules we place on each other in various sub-cultures that point us away from God and away from each other. They point us away from God and each other because they promote our hiding in sin and shame, rather than coming out into the light and dealing with our conflict; which promotes the opportunity to forgive.
****This doesn’t mean you don’t set certain, healthy boundaries, especially when the person has become unsafe. For more on this topic read “Unsafe People” and/or “Boundaries” by Cloud and Townsend.
Wow. She was right, but it clued me into something new I’ve learned about myself. I realized that I hate legalism more than I love grace. Where do I want to be? I want to love grace more than I hate legalism. Or, maybe I could say that I love grace more than anything, but that I fear it for reasons I will list below. Nevertheless, I’ve realized that the fight against legalism*** is the second greatest battle I will fight in my lifetime. The greatest battle I will ever fight is to live out grace.
The reason grace is so hard is because it involves forgiveness. The reason forgiveness is so hard is because it requires giving up a whole lot that I really don’t like giving up. When someone has hurt me or I have hurt someone else, the single most difficult thing for you and I to do is to ask for, give, or receive forgiveness from the other person. For God, it required so much that He literally died to give us His forgiveness. The scripture says we were enemies and yet He died for us. When Jesus says “Love your enemies” (Matt 5:44), He really meant it and lived it out. This is grace.
Grace as a concept sounds great, but put it into a real life situation and grace might be the very thing you hate or fear the most. When someone sins against you (even someone you love) it can feel like they are your very enemy. You want to lash out at them or go into hiding. Either way you want to try to eliminate the sin out of your shame rather than out of forgiveness. Forgiveness requires truly acknowledging what happened (offender or victim) and eliminating it through your own death (letting go of holding it against the other person****). It is literally the hardest thing in life for us to do, I believe.
When Jesus tells us to love our enemies (Matt 5:44), I don’t think we get the full scope of what He is saying. We instantly think of people we hate or dislike, but we forget that loving our enemies includes loving those closest to us when they feel like an enemy to us. We have to come out of hiding, go to them and ask for, receive and/or give forgiveness. This is the greatest battle.
_______________________________
*I wasn't in total self-pity mode, but she was giving me an opportunity to aid me in getting out of any self-pity I might have been dealing with in the moment.
**I also told her I have cool looking skater shoes and that I am creative. It was all I could come up with. I was playing false modesty at first.
***Legalism is the various sets of unwritten, unbiblical rules we place on each other in various sub-cultures that point us away from God and away from each other. They point us away from God and each other because they promote our hiding in sin and shame, rather than coming out into the light and dealing with our conflict; which promotes the opportunity to forgive.
****This doesn’t mean you don’t set certain, healthy boundaries, especially when the person has become unsafe. For more on this topic read “Unsafe People” and/or “Boundaries” by Cloud and Townsend.
Friday, June 5, 2009
God is Like an Ice Cream Truck*
Do you remember the feeling that drew you in when the music of the ice cream truck touched your ears? It was intoxicating. You might have been scrambling all over the house for loose change or frantically asking mom for 35 cents. Do you remember Bullets, Bomb Pops, Ice Cream Push-Ups, Strawberry Shortcake Ice Cream Bars, and candy of all kinds? How about something salty like chips or a pickle? They had those too.
God is like an ice cream truck. He turns the music on and you are instantly drawn to find Him. Now, you might think this isn’t true, but think a little more indirectly, through your relationships. For example, I remember in college having this same feeling of anticipation when I’d meet up with my friends. I couldn’t wait to be with them at Applebee’s on a Friday night or on campus somewhere for lunch during a weekday. More recently, I remember having this same feeling meeting up with a house church I was a part of a few years ago. A friend of mine says he has this sense of anticipation about a men’s church group I’m a part of each week. It is one of his favorite things to look forward to during the week. Another man describes to me how when he and his wife each get home from work, they can’t wait to be together for an hour or so, before they venture out for the evening’s activities; with each other or on their own. They’ve been married for 10 years. In the end, only God can satisfy this deep longing, but our safe and healthy relationships can point us in the right direction.
God is like an ice cream truck. He turns on the music and we’re instantly drawn to Him. Where is it? Where is it coming from? Gotta find it. Keep an eye out in your weekly experiences for those safe and healthy relationships you anticipate the most.** That’s the music coming from God’s heart. You gotta go find it. It’s awesome.
_________________________________
*This title concept is directly taken from Captivating by John and Stasi Eldridge p. 131. The writing by me in this blog entry is completely my own extrapolation from this concept.
**Some forms of anticipation aren’t actually good, because they are addictions. There is a difference between a deep longing for the safety that a relationship provides or the compulsive desire to get whatever rush you can get out of it. A gentle longing vs. a compulsive desire. You’ll know the difference because those sorts of relationships never satisfy. In this sense, maybe the ice cream truck analogy isn’t totally accurate.
God is like an ice cream truck. He turns the music on and you are instantly drawn to find Him. Now, you might think this isn’t true, but think a little more indirectly, through your relationships. For example, I remember in college having this same feeling of anticipation when I’d meet up with my friends. I couldn’t wait to be with them at Applebee’s on a Friday night or on campus somewhere for lunch during a weekday. More recently, I remember having this same feeling meeting up with a house church I was a part of a few years ago. A friend of mine says he has this sense of anticipation about a men’s church group I’m a part of each week. It is one of his favorite things to look forward to during the week. Another man describes to me how when he and his wife each get home from work, they can’t wait to be together for an hour or so, before they venture out for the evening’s activities; with each other or on their own. They’ve been married for 10 years. In the end, only God can satisfy this deep longing, but our safe and healthy relationships can point us in the right direction.
God is like an ice cream truck. He turns on the music and we’re instantly drawn to Him. Where is it? Where is it coming from? Gotta find it. Keep an eye out in your weekly experiences for those safe and healthy relationships you anticipate the most.** That’s the music coming from God’s heart. You gotta go find it. It’s awesome.
_________________________________
*This title concept is directly taken from Captivating by John and Stasi Eldridge p. 131. The writing by me in this blog entry is completely my own extrapolation from this concept.
**Some forms of anticipation aren’t actually good, because they are addictions. There is a difference between a deep longing for the safety that a relationship provides or the compulsive desire to get whatever rush you can get out of it. A gentle longing vs. a compulsive desire. You’ll know the difference because those sorts of relationships never satisfy. In this sense, maybe the ice cream truck analogy isn’t totally accurate.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
The Reflection of God in Our Joys
Your personality and joy reflects part of the personality of God in the way you perceive and interact with the world around you. The degree to which you express this portion of your personality without inhibition (apart from the forms of addiction) is the degree to which you declare the glory of God.
The Incarnate God Himself, Jesus, displayed lots of interests and things He liked to do for fun, work, purpose, and experience. Think about it. He was a carpenter; a wood worker of sorts. I have a friend named Scott who does interior/exterior remodeling. I helped him build an interior, half-sized wall used as a partition in a restaurant bar and grill. We loaded an amazing array of detailed and meticulously purchased sets of materials into a U Haul we brought to the restaurant. I watched him as he measured out all the lengths and we used nuts and bolts and nail gun this and nail gun that. We even got to shoot bolts into the cement with a gun that used real gun powder. When I watched Scott at times doing his work, I could see he was in a mental zone. He was using his body, expertise, and knowledge of tools to make things work together to create a masterpiece. The partition-wall was intricate with a ledge for drinks and different types of cool looking things all over it. Watching him work, I got to see inside of Scott something that literally came from God. It was his heart’s desire to use his mind and body in the way God had created Him. In a certain way, it was like I got to see God at work. I look back and think about how Jesus was probably in the same zone with his mind and body when He was doing His wood work and carpentry back in Galilee.
On my part, I could care less about wood working, tools, gadgets, and building stuff. I love to watch people like Scott do their stuff, because I see God inside of them, but that isn’t what makes me tick. I’m living in the world of ideas all the time. I hear people tell me stories about their lives and I’m thinking about their lives as part of a grand story being told. I’m thinking about what words I can use to affirm them, so they can know who they really are. I’m thinking about the next blog entry I can write to express what I’ve seen in them. In addition to my world of stories, I also like to teach because it is another avenue to express my creativity in the activities I put together for my ESL students. A simple lecture isn’t enough. I have to help them get into contact with one another relationally, talking to each other in English and accomplishing some sort of task. Whether I’m teaching or storytelling, the intertwining thread is always the beauty I see in relationships and their interconnections. Jesus, of course, also had this same desire. He gathered a band of disciples, taught them lots of things, put them into relationships with one another, and sent them out to connect in even more relationships outside of their group. This all became part of a grand story that has been told for centuries.
You on the other hand, might not identify with either me or my friend Scott. You might get in the zone when you’re doing an act of service, setting appointments, or organizing things. Maybe you feel alive when you’re swimming, cycling, running, rock climbing, or hiking. Running a business, supporting visionaries, hanging out with friends, painting, or decorating/interior design might resonate with you. Whatever it is that you love to do (apart from addictions), make sure you do it often, do it well, and do it without reservation.
Do it because when we see you doing your thing, we get to see a piece of you that God made inside of you. Moreover, we get to see God inside of you. We get to connect with Him in this way. Do you see that it isn’t just for you?
The Incarnate God Himself, Jesus, displayed lots of interests and things He liked to do for fun, work, purpose, and experience. Think about it. He was a carpenter; a wood worker of sorts. I have a friend named Scott who does interior/exterior remodeling. I helped him build an interior, half-sized wall used as a partition in a restaurant bar and grill. We loaded an amazing array of detailed and meticulously purchased sets of materials into a U Haul we brought to the restaurant. I watched him as he measured out all the lengths and we used nuts and bolts and nail gun this and nail gun that. We even got to shoot bolts into the cement with a gun that used real gun powder. When I watched Scott at times doing his work, I could see he was in a mental zone. He was using his body, expertise, and knowledge of tools to make things work together to create a masterpiece. The partition-wall was intricate with a ledge for drinks and different types of cool looking things all over it. Watching him work, I got to see inside of Scott something that literally came from God. It was his heart’s desire to use his mind and body in the way God had created Him. In a certain way, it was like I got to see God at work. I look back and think about how Jesus was probably in the same zone with his mind and body when He was doing His wood work and carpentry back in Galilee.
On my part, I could care less about wood working, tools, gadgets, and building stuff. I love to watch people like Scott do their stuff, because I see God inside of them, but that isn’t what makes me tick. I’m living in the world of ideas all the time. I hear people tell me stories about their lives and I’m thinking about their lives as part of a grand story being told. I’m thinking about what words I can use to affirm them, so they can know who they really are. I’m thinking about the next blog entry I can write to express what I’ve seen in them. In addition to my world of stories, I also like to teach because it is another avenue to express my creativity in the activities I put together for my ESL students. A simple lecture isn’t enough. I have to help them get into contact with one another relationally, talking to each other in English and accomplishing some sort of task. Whether I’m teaching or storytelling, the intertwining thread is always the beauty I see in relationships and their interconnections. Jesus, of course, also had this same desire. He gathered a band of disciples, taught them lots of things, put them into relationships with one another, and sent them out to connect in even more relationships outside of their group. This all became part of a grand story that has been told for centuries.
You on the other hand, might not identify with either me or my friend Scott. You might get in the zone when you’re doing an act of service, setting appointments, or organizing things. Maybe you feel alive when you’re swimming, cycling, running, rock climbing, or hiking. Running a business, supporting visionaries, hanging out with friends, painting, or decorating/interior design might resonate with you. Whatever it is that you love to do (apart from addictions), make sure you do it often, do it well, and do it without reservation.
Do it because when we see you doing your thing, we get to see a piece of you that God made inside of you. Moreover, we get to see God inside of you. We get to connect with Him in this way. Do you see that it isn’t just for you?
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