New Reality Fight Song

I took a trip down memory lane
Went back to before I was sane
The rest of the story is untold
What could’a happened will never be told

If I try to get back the wrongs I did
Try to turn back time - something invalid
A bunch of shame - lies that cost
You can never pay back because it costs

You gotta see what’s down below
A current of power - strong undertoe
The storms and waves - depravity
But deep down inside there is a new me

Put down all fake humility
Your strength and heart - reality
Don’t run from dreams - insanity
Take a torch for all - for all to see

Into the light here we come
We wanna live life - the kingdom come
Rap to a beat but don’t conform
Not the same as a need - a need to perform

Brothers and sisters we got for now
And a spirit we got that goes pow wow
You thought you had no worth for them
But Christ came and said you were - amen

If I could have it any other way
I wouldn’t have it any other way
New chapters are better any way
Forever and ever here to stay

In the end it’s nothing else but play
Go resist evil but only for play
Stay with your heart and your soul
Never hurt yourself but grow whole

Trust Him who calls from above
No anger because His name is love

Take a look at your life
Where you came from
It isn’t what you did
But who you came from

In the Wake of Eleven Baby Strollers

Yesterday, I was part of an experience in which Eleven Baby Strollers created an eye-catching and positively destructive wake*. The men in my Adult Sunday School took their kids to the zoo. A lot of fathers, but also a lot of married men without kids and then me - the older single. We had kids all over the place, 23 of them I think. Mainly we were just trying to keep them from getting lost. One of the guys had triplets and a fourth kid in a quad-stroller. A woman later asked me if his stroller was custom-made. I don't know - but it was a butt load of kids.

One of the things about the zoo is that there's a lot of moms out there with their kids, but not a lot of dads or father figures. I mean, there's men and women partners/married couples, but there's not a lot of fathers or father figures out there with their kids. Needless to say, 20 men wondering around the zoo with 23 kids takes notice.

Two things happened that drew my attention. First, a zoo worker at the Wallaby Kangaroo station kept asking herself out loud if it was Father's Day. She was not kidding. She was seriously confused and thought she'd confused weekends**. Second, another woman came up to us and started asking us questions. "What are all of you men doing here?" This was the moment I realized that we really stuck out. We shared with her that we were from the same church and taking the kids out to the zoo. Then she commented about how we stuck out in a good way and she just had to know what was going on.

I wanna say two things here. First, I am struck by how men acting like men can create such a wake in such a place as the zoo. And, I will even say that there was something happening that was Biblical and that people were drawn to us in a similar way that they were drawn to Jesus back in the day. I mean, we weren't doing miracles and all that stuff, but people were drawn to us and they were drawn to the source of our strong, yet tender manhood. This is what people were drawn to in Jesus. Second, I'd like to say that I don't care if you believe in Jesus or not. Go out and get your friends. Get those who are fathers and your male friends who are married or single and without children. Take them out. Go to the zoo. Take Eleven Baby Stollers. It is a great thing to do for you, your friends, and your/their kids.***

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*A "wake" is the waves that are created when a speed boat or ship drive through the water. Everyone to either side of you gets hit by the waves and you take notice of the boat that has just driven by.

**Father's Day is June 19th, but this story occurred on June 11th.

***To Christians - please never use this as some sort of plot to evangelize those who ask you why you are there. This is using your friends and their kids. They will feel used and it would be a wound you gave them.

Dr. Seuss

"Be who you are & say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss

Desire

In the Christian, there are two people. One is the spirit and one is the flesh. The desires of each are in conflict. Nevertheless, we must be bold in light of the cross and forsake all notions that our behavior means anything for our souls at this point. We must boast in the fact that our spirit is true. We have true desires to do what is good and to reject what is evil. In light of 2 Corinthians 5:17 and 5:21, we have been turned into new creatures and made righteous. We must decide it is more important to know that we have these good desires that come from the Father of Heavenly Lights, apart from the facts of our behavior. Our true desires come from God. Our attempts to control our behavior come from our flesh.

Forsaking all false shame, we must embrace the part of us that will live forever, our spirit. We must reject the voices that come from our flesh, the world, and the accuser himself. Every temptation to do evil is a lie which attempts to tell us that we will die in the flesh. By embracing the truth of our God-given desires, we accept the fact that our God-given desires, no matter how small they might seem, are the working out of our salvation.

We don’t try to do good. We let our desires lead our hearts into ever heightening senses of power from above. This, in fact, is how we work out our salvation. We tell God how good He is by accepting the truth of the desires He’s given us. We don’t reject those desires as false based upon our behavior. We start with our God-given desires and put our behavior on the back-burner. We let our desires lead us. We let God lead us. Our behavior will catch up with our spirit-led desires. These desires are part of how we experience God. It is Him. It is the gospel.

Ephesians 2:10 For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Galatians 3:3 Are you so foolish? After beginning by means of the Spirit, are you now trying to finish by means of the flesh?

Ephesians 2:10 and Galatians 3:3 work together. We were created to do good works. If we look at our behavior then we will be led to believe that Ephesians 2:10 couldn’t possibly be true about us. This is false shame, and this is us trying to finish by means of the flesh. That’s the reason for Galatians 3:3. It is a reminder to us that life by means of the Spirit is a life which listens to the truth of our God-given desires. Our desires tell us the truth about who we really are and lead us into that truth. A preoccupation with behavior tells us nothing but lies.

The Destructive Nature of God's Love

The other day, I was driving home from work, listening to a song by Tenth Avenue North. A line in the song says -

"He'll break open the sky to save those who call upon His name"

The adjective that comes to mind when I reflect on these words is destructive. That's why I decided to title this blog entry "The Destructive Nature of God's Love". It just feels destructive to me - in a good way.

These lyrics remind me of Psalms 18 in the Old Testament. The Psalm is a song of David describing how God had saved him from all of his enemies including King Saul.

It says-

God opened the heavens and came down.
Dark clouds were under His feet.
He got on the cherubim and flew.
The wings of the wind lifted Him up.

In these verses, I see God getting active. He takes action. He gets on the cherubim, punches it into gear, and hits the gas.

The Lord thundered from heaven.
The voice of the Most High God was heard.
He shot his arrows and scattered our enemies.
He sent great flashes of lighting and chased the enemies away.

God was loud, fired arrows and lightning, and scattered David's enemies. They couldn't contend with Him. God took care of business.

This is the destructive love of God. This is who is on your side. He will part the sky, jump down on cherubim, and take care of business. That is who He is. That is what He does.

The Car Salvage Industry and Christ

Guest Writer: My Friend Nick V.

As I think about the car salvage industry, in which I work, and the truth that I have been taught, I can't help but think about the similarities I find in the salvage business and the true story of salvation. I'll try to make this entertaining. We are all made in God's Image, and at one point, we were all brand new cars -- original merchandise bearing the glory of God. Then, the fall of man took place, and from that time, all the way up to today, we have been tainted by sin -- in need of lots of cleanup -- like a car that’s been salvaged.

Now is where it gets good though... We know that the parts we don't "salvage" or "SAVE" eventually goes to be "PD'd" or crushed. The Bible says that all have sinned and that the wages of sin is death (Romans 3:23 and 6:23).

You see, when a part is damaged, they have to put bondo in it, it takes lots of repair, but it is never the original merchandise again. Also with us, no matter how much "bondo" or good things we try to do or learn, we can never get back to our original merchandise condition. (If righteousness could be gained by the law, then Christ died in vain. Galatians 2:21).

So, back to the crusher. When the cars go to the crusher, it makes me think of these verses:

"He was crushed for our sins."

"It was the Lord's will to crush him, to make him a guilt offering"(Isaiah 53).

So, in an act of sheer grace and mercy, God sends His only Son, Jesus, and goes to the crusher for us -- to make us original merchandise forever!!

So, next time you think about salvage parts, think about the fact that you were once original merchandise, then needed some cleanup, destined for the crusher, but then salvaged, saved, and turned into original merchandise, forever and ever and ever.

"Therefore, if anyone be in Christ, He is a new creation. The old has gone, behold, all things are new!" - 2 Corinthians 5:17

Separating Ourselves and Others From God

There is an idea that has been revived in my mind over the past couple days. It is an idea that I feel I've largely forgotten about for the past year or so. If you read some of the blogs I was writing back then, you would have noticed it, even though it may have not been explicit.

This is the idea: No matter what it takes, at any and all costs, we must come to believe this - that God is separate from us and others. How He feels about us and how we feel about ourselves and others, or how they feel about us is all separate from God's position on the matter. The question we have to ask ourselves is, "Am I going to believe my behavior or am I going to believe what God says about me? Am I going to believe what I see in the behavior of other people, or am I going to believe what God says about them?"

See, God doesn't think like we do. Someone reminded me this morning* that our relationship with God is a gift and that we have a hard time accepting gifts. We're waiting for the catch or the betrayal and this is based upon a mental framework we've developed over a lifetime that is based on us and other people rather than on God. In the back of our heads we all have this sneaking suspicion that the gift will be taken away at some point or at least that there's some sort of agenda behind the gift that we'll need to measure up to. We're not used to receiving gifts that don't bear betrayal or agendas around the corner. Again, this is where I had forgotten that God's declarations (which will never be recanted) and my beliefs (which are mostly messed up) are two totally different animals.

Here are a few thoughts.

• God loved us so much that He took away our sins and killed the part of us that is prone towards violence towards Him, ourselves, and others (John 3 and elsewhere).
• God says this relationship is a gift and not based upon our attempts at good behavior (Ephesians 2).
• God says He has turned us into new creatures with new hearts - a new nature (2 Corinthians 5).
• He says that we are already clean because of the word He has spoken to us (John 15).
• God says there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8).
• God says He will never betray us, even though everyone and everything in this life might do so (Hebrews 13?).
• God brags about us. He announces our value to the congregation. He sings our praises. (Hebrews 2:13)

The question is: Are we going to believe our behavior or are we going to believe what God says?

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*John Lynch

Him Thinking of Us Thinking of Him

This morning I was feeling down. I thought of God. Normally, that makes me feel worse. But, then I wrote something down. It was this: "Every time I think of You God, it is really You thinking of me." I mean really, who brought the thought to my mind in the first place? At minimum, who created me to have such heavenly thoughts? It was Him. So, I think this is the truth. Every time I happen to have a thought or feeling in relation to God, I believe it was really Him who was thinking of me. And what does He think of us? In Hebrews 2:12, He declares how He feels about us. “I will declare your name to my brothers and sisters; in the assembly I will sing your praises.”

How do I feel tonight? Well, I feel better. But those down times are always just around the corner. May we always remember how God feels about us at every turn.

Bono on Our Cities - Our Very Lives

Take this city
A city should be shining on a hill
Take this city
If it be your will
What no man can own, no man can take

These are lyrics from U2 - Bono's prayer to honor God by telling Him that our cities do not belong to us. They belong to Him.

Doing Something Big

Read the following two statements:

1. I don't want to waste my life. I want to do something big*.
2. I don't need to do something big in my life, but maybe I can. Yes, I will try to do something big.

Do you see the difference?

Person #1 doesn't yet know their value.
Person #2 already knows their value.

We all bear the image of God. Maybe we can do something big.

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*But, what is something that's big? That'll be in the next entry.

God Talk and the Arts

***If you are not an Evangelical Christian, then this post might not make much sense. Even if you are one, then you still might not identify. However, there are those who totally identify with what I am saying and it is to you (and I) that I write. So, here goes...***

Evangelical Christians pray out loud in groups. It's sort of like you're talking to God, who is invisible, but other people are there. We take turns. Sometimes we read a little bit from the Bible, to give us some food for thought. Then we pray. We talk out loud to God and others "listen in" on our conversation with Him.

Needless to say, this is an awkward experience.

One of the things that has bothered me about praying out loud is that I have a "prayer" type of talk and I have "normal" talk in everyday conversations. In the past, I've always felt strange about this. Why would I have certain phrases, word patterns, and expressions in my "out loud" prayers to God that seem so contorted, so "not normal" talking.

The experience parallels what we call "teacher talk" in the ESL classroom which is more enunciated and formal to accomodate an ESL student, or maybe it might parallel "motherese" in which a mother talks with a higher pitched voice in repetitive patterns to a child. Barack Obama is another example which parallels "prayer talk". He has a different type of "talk" for addressing the nation than he does with his staff or with his wife and children than he does when he speaks. With God, we do the same thing. We have "God talk".

I guess what I'm getting to is that for Evangelical Christians (and other types of Christians who do this whole "praying out loud" thing in groups), some of us feel like we need to appologize for "praying out loud" in a way that is different from our "normal speech". We, or certainly I, have asked the questoin, "Why do I talk to God differently than I talk to these other sorts of people?" Am I trying to look eloquent or something? Am I trying to make sure my "speech" sounds nice and why am I so focused on that anyway? Shouldn't I just pray to Him like I would talk in "normal" speech, instead of treating Him like I'm talking to an audience or uploading a podcast or something? Yes, I understand that motives are part of how we speak and behave towards God and other people, but even though it is related to "God Talk", I believe that a person who theoretically had perfectly pure motives would still talk to God differently while praying out loud.

And here we finally get to my two points about why we don't need to get all uptight about how we pray to God. First, we never have "normal" speech. We talk in different ways to different people. We talk "teacher talk" or "motherese" or "friend to friend" talk or "father to son" talk or "son to father talk" for that matter. There is no type of speech that is independent from our relational dynamics, and there's no reason that we aren't going to have "God talk" either.

Second, I don't think we should preclude prayer from the category of the arts. What I mean by this is that we write music, poetry, stories, and create works of art, all of which we often dedicate as forms of worship to God. Think of a music worship service at church. We sing these completely "abnormal" types of things to God and they are absolutely NOT close to "normal speech" in our daily lives. However, it's not like I look at a Christian Singer-Song writer and say, "Wow. That guy is really weird, putting his prayer to music and then inviting us to sing our words to God." Well, maybe that does seem sort of weird if you think about it. However, we usually think of musical worship as a form of art that we create and present to God as a gift. It's almost as if I were Romeo reading poetry to Juliet. She is up on the second floor balcony and we are down below. The poetry is not normal speech. So, I think it's okay and not phony that the words, patterns, and vocabulary in our out-loud prayers to God are a little weird compared to normal speech. In singing a song or praying to God, we might as well paint a picture of a sunset, present it to Him, and tell Him that we enjoyed His sunset so much that we decided to paint a picture of it. That is a form of art that is worship, be it a song or prayer or a painting.

So, why not put prayer in a similar category as art and music or other forms of creativity? Why are we (primarily Evangelical Christians) so concerned with talking to God in a "normal way" when we pray out loud to Him in groups? Instead, why not treat our prayer "phrases" and "patterns" and "unusual vocabulary" as we might a song or poem or a piece of art that we are presenting to God as a beautiful way of reflecting Him in our creativity? Spontaneous and artistic.
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For a related talk on prayer to God, check out another blog entry called Dropping the F-bomb. It is the other side of prayer, beautiful yet rough around the edges.

What if God just liked being sung to?

What if God, like a child, resonated with your voice, singing him to sleep? What if, like a young woman in a second floor window, he waited for a gentleman to sing sonnets from down below, telling of His beauty? What if, like a group of men at sea, He sang and laughed with them, arm-in-arm and drinking ale, as they sang tales about how He fought for them and was their hero in the wars of old?

What if God just liked being sung to? What if he simply liked your voice?

Blog Bandwagon

I hate to get on the blog bandwagon, but there is a blog gaining a lot of popularity that is gaining a lot of popularity because it is worth gaining a lot of popularity. Does that make sense?

Follow the link below if you are interested:

Jaime The Very Worst Missionary

Read her December 22, 2010 entry called "Missionaries Probably Shouldn't be Jealous of Strippers. But Sometimes They Are." It is excellent.

Her husband writes a blog as well:

El Chupacabra Writes a Blog

Sorrow and Human Value (Short Version)

Asking God to help us enter sorrow and move away from resentment, bitterness, and anxiety is one of the ways in which we come to terms with the fact that God finds us and those around us valuable. When we do this, joy is possible.

Sorrow and Human Value

In Ephesians 3:20, God tells us that he is able to do more than we ask for.

In philosophy, a common question that is asked is, "Can we talk about things that are outside of our experiences?" In some ways, we can't. We always extrapolate our understandings of reality and place them on God or any kind of extra-reality we can conjure up in our minds. God is often a superhuman rather than holy, meaning apart, separate, or sacred*. (In this sense, God is the ultimate paradox because he is completely "other than us" and yet in Jesus he is "none other than us".)

Ephesians 3:20 is one of these places where God reminds us that he is holy. He is not like a human being. He is able to do more than we ask for. Think of this in two ways. First, he has the ability to do more than we ask for. We might ask for a house and he gives us a mansion. Second, and I believe more importantly, God is able to know what we haven't asked for and didn't even know what to ask for in the first place. So, not only is he able to give us a mansion when we asked for a house, but he is able to give us a winter coat ahead of time when we didn't even know it would snow. We didn't even know to ask the question. This is what I mean by Ephesians 3:20 demonstrating God's holiness.

The real difficulty is what to do with sorrow. We ask for comfort, ease, or at least not to be hurt too much. God is able to do more than we ask for. He leads us into sorrow. This is sometimes what we needed, but didn't know to ask.

I don't know what to do with this. I wish I had the answers. The closest answer I have is that when I let my heart go to sorrow, as opposed to thoughts of murder and revenge, I sense joy around the corner. Some of my most joyous occasions have followed periods of sorrow, so long as I'm willing to enter the sorrow instead of fighting with God over the injustice. For some reason, the problem of evil doesn't seem to have a grip on my heart during those occasions.

Jesus demonstrates this in John 16 when he tells his disciples that he will leave them and that they will be filled with sorrow, but that he will return and they will be filled with joy. This was a concrete instance where God allowed people to experience sorrow, knowing that they would be filled with joy later.

In our lives, we place our hope in the fact that we will meet God in our sorrow and us meeting Him there in that sorrow is often what we didn't know to ask for (Eph 3:20). When we meet Him there, joy is possible. If we opt for resentment, bitterness, and anxiety then we are unwilling to meet Him in sorrow and joy is not possible. Being made in the image of God, your heart is worth sorrow. Resentment, bitterness, and anxiety dishonor you by placing little value on your heart and dignity. Asking God to help us enter sorrow is one of the ways in which we come to terms with the fact that God finds us valuable and that we can do so too.

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*Blue Letter Bible. "Dictionary and Word Search for qodesh (Strong's 6944)". Blue Letter Bible. 1996-2011. 2 Jan 2011.

Bestowing Value

When someone else suffers for us, it demonstrates our value.

It might be something as significant as serving a loved one during their ten year bout with Alzheimer's until their death. It might be epic such as those who gave their own time and even died to save Jews during Hitler's tyranny or African Americans in the underground railroad. It might be more common like a mother and father who suffer sleep deprivation during a colicky infant's first few months of life.

When someone else suffers for us, it demonstrates our value.

No, let's take it further. Let's look at Ephesians 3:13. In his letter to the Ephesians*, Paul says, "I ask you, therefore, do not be discouraged because of my sufferings for you, which are your glory." Paul uses the word "glory" which is the same Greek word that is used to talk about Christ's coming (Matt 24:30, Mark 8:38, Mark 13: 26) and a number of other places in the New Testament to talk about the glory of God. It's the same word. It is a general word that means opinion or judgement, or view, but it is always used in a positive way in the New Testament**.

When someone else suffers for us, it demonstrates our glory. It demonstrates our dignity. It demonstrates our God given image.

So often, when someone suffers for us, we feel embarrassed to receive that type of praise from another person. We lower our eyes. We say, "I'm sorry you had to do that for me." This is why Paul had to say such a thing to the Ephesians. Paul had a difficult life because of his ministry. Accusations, shipwrecks, near death experiences, and finally house arrest. He suffered for people like the Ephesians. They knew it.

Paul told them, "Don't be discouraged that I suffer for you. It reveals your glory." His suffering revealed their dignity and God-given image. Paul knew they'd shy away from receiving such praise. He wanted to tell them that it's okay to receive sacrificial service from another person, including him, because by accepting such service they acknowledge the dignity and value God has placed in them as his creatures. And, in reality, that means they are accepting a gift from God. Receiving gifts from God unreservedly is one of our greatest forms of worship.

In our own lives, we are tempted to downplay the sufferings of others on our behalf. Do not reject such suffering, we are told. We are valuable and worth receiving such glory. This isn't because you've done something to earn such glory. It is simply because God has decided you are so valuable and worth everything to Him. Do not be discouraged that He suffered an eternity in hell on your behalf, shrunk up in a little ball of bitterness and putrid thoughts of contempt towards everyone and everything. Your value is demonstrated through his sacrifice.

He is all the more glorious for pouring His value into us through suffering.

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*The Ephesians were a group of people from one of the earliest churches in Ephesus, which is located in modern day Turkey.

**Blue Letter Bible. "Dictionary and Word Search for doxa (Strong's 1391)". Blue Letter Bible. 1996-2010. 30 Dec 2010.

Above and Beyond All Pain, Shame, Comfort, and Happiness

I don't want to get away from anger, shame, jealousy, resentment, and fear if it takes me away from God. I don't want to enter happiness, joy, relaxation, and comfort unless I find Him there.

So many of us (including me) hold happiness, joy, relaxation, and comfort to be the highest commodities. We just want someone or something to take away the pain. The reality is that sadness is the emotion we often are running from most. But even sadness isn't the highest commodity, even if it is the truer emotion we suppress with resentment and bitterness.

The bigger question I want to know above and beyond all pain, shame, comfort, and happiness is this: Are you there God? I want to know if God is there in the middle of it. That is all I want to know. If God is there, then I can fight in the trenches of World War I, endure a spouse who leaves me, fail on my end in a relationship, or survive an insult that threatens my masculinity or my femininity. These things will break me - yes they will break us - we can't get away from that fact - they will break us, but what I really want to know is if God is there in the middle of it. Does God care? Does God have tears when I am breaking apart? Does God smile when I hit a home run?

If God fights alongside me, if he cries and laughs with me, then this is all I want to know. This is all that matters. Everything else comes second.

Rage and Worship

When I rage against God in my journal and ask all of the horrible and awful questions about the deep pain and agony in my life and the world, I find myself close to God. I look down at the ink on the paper and I realize that those words are to God, and that is where the worship lies. No matter what I write, good or evil, those words are to Him. This is the basis of all psalms, whether personal or inspired. We write to God. It is worship.

Unconditional Love and the Heart of Change

I'd like to spotlight an artist I've recently run into. Here are two videos I think hit the gospel right on. The first video highlights God's unconditional love. The second video highlights the heart of changing in the light of that unconditional love.

What Love Really Means

Only Love Remains

The Preservation of Ancient Documents

Interesting thing about Western culture is if you produce a movie about hidden messages and obscure historical references, miraculously and meticulously preserved throughout the ages and used to solve a modern day crime, then audiences find it fascinating. But, then there's the Bible. It might be such a thing, but often prematurely dismissed as possibly being the very thing we've been scripting about all along.

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*These were some of my thoughts while listening to a sermon by James Waddel.

If I could write a book about anything

If I could write any book*, it would be about how a simple carpenter saved an entire population of people from destruction. Somewhat mysterious to keep the reader interested. Superhero powers beyond measure, but he'd never show off. He'd simply use them because he had them. His character and love would transcend his power, thus putting power in its rightful place - submitted to love - the definition of meekness.**
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*I'm being rhetorical of course, since it's already been written:)
**I credit this definition of meekness to Joshua Ashurst. Where he got it from, I have no idea.

We Don't Have the Authority to Judge Ourselves

We spend a lot of time evaluating ourselves in light of our performance in this world, in our professions, and in our families. Yet, this is contrary to the gospel. The good news is that not only shouldn't we judge ourselves for our performance, but we don't even have the authority to judge ourselves.* That authority never belonged to us in the first place. The moment we judge our performance in the light of others is the moment we remain in a cycle of shame that will never end. It is us trying to play God.

St. Paul says this in 1 Corinthians 4:

1. I do not judge myself in regards to others.

2. My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent.

3. We should judge nothing until the appointed time. We should wait until the Lord comes, and this is when He will judge us.

4. In the end, He will praise me. This is his judgement. (Sounds arrogant, but it isn't. Here's why:)

In light of the fact that all sin has been atoned for and that we will stand before God having been completely transformed into God-like creatures upon our death, His judgement will be praise. We'll be our true and wonderful selves in that moment. There will be a judgement, but we will be declared righteous. So, as St. Paul says, my recommendation is to wait for judgement until the appointed time. Let Him judge you. In his judgement, He will praise you.

That being said, what do we do with ourselves in the present time? Won't this lead to a license for irresponsible living? A failure to help people, a failure to protect others through our own spiritual and healthy living, a failure to follow the design of God? The answer is that it could. The other answer is that it might not. The answer depends on the person's heart. A person who has a soft heart will be left with sadness in the absence of judgement. A person who has a hard heart will be left with emptiness and a nomadic spirit.

I know both.

Sadness, apart from judgement, brings the opportunity for hope and joy. As I'm sure I've read by either C.S. Lewis or Henri Nowen in the past, and can testify to myself at times, sadness and joy are closely linked. The true motive for sadness is compassion which comes from a heart generated by love. Sadness, therefore, which is connected to love is connected to God, which ultimately produces joy. They are like opposite sides of the same coin.

A person who judges oneself hides from the very thing that needs to be dealt with. They avoid the sadness they need so desperately not so much in light of how they've performed, but more importantly in the ways in which they have failed to love. Leaving judgement and moving back towards sadness is the way to get into contact with that love once again. This is the beauty of sadness over judgement.

Finally, a person who enters into sadness apart from judgement also begins to see their own acts of love in a new way. They are able to enjoy their own acts of love without feeling arrogant or self-righteous. They feel glorious, operating in alignment with God's design. Somehow, they praise their own actions with total humility. This is the absence of judgement. It is called happiness.

God, may we live in the light of your compassion, sadness, joy, and humility.

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*This idea is taken from Henry Rojas

**I'm indebted always to my conversations with Nick Vieron and Josh Ashurst in all of my writings. This blog reflects our conversations, not just my own thoughts. In that light, I cite 1 Pet 4:11, in which I can always be indebted to God for these very conversations.

***Finally, I do not even judge myself for this blog entry, which may or may not contain theological mistakes or lack of insight. I trust the Lord will guide whomever reads these words.

Playing God - A Type of Co-Dependency

Yesterday, I read a passage from Oswald Chambers, November 15th entry in "My Utmost for His Highest"*. In it, Chambers discusses how he moved from playing God to letting God play God. I've also gone through a similar process, even though I still fall into its trap from time to time. The Chambers entry is so good that I simply decided to copy and paste it below. I've taken it from http://www.myutmost.org/

NOV. 15th: WHAT IS THAT TO THEE? (O. Chambers)

"Lord, what shall this man do? . . What is that to thee? Follow thou Me." John 21:21,2

"One of our severest lessons comes from the stubborn refusal to see that we must not interfere in other people's lives. It takes a long time to realize the danger of being an amateur providence, that is, interfering with God's order for others. You see a certain person suffering, and you say - He shall not suffer, and I will see that he does not. You put your hand straight in front of God's permissive will to prevent it, and God says - "What is that to thee?" If there is stagnation spiritually, never allow it to go on, but get into God's presence and find out the reason for it. Possibly you will find it is because you have been interfering in the life of another; proposing things you had no right to propose; advising when you had no right to advise. When you do have to give advice to another, God will advise through you with the direct understanding of His Spirit; your part is to be so rightly related to God that His discernment comes through you all the time for the blessing of another soul."

In light of this message from Chambers, we must look at moving in this direction as a blessing and not as a way that we ought to get our act together. The gospel is that God wants us to let go of playing God in other people's lives but that this is a process. His shed blood covers us from all unrighteousness, even the very act of playing God. We are now free to try out new ways of living without the fear that God might reject us if we don't get it. The moment we recognize what we are doing and confess that to God is the moment the process has already begun. That is good news.

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*Chambers was a Scottish pastor born 1874; died 1917)

The Conversation of God

There is a depth of intimacy on God's side that goes way deeper than we are even aware of. As believers, we believe God dwells inside us. But what does this mean?

God tells us in Romans 8:26 that we don't really know what to pray for, but that the Holy Spirit is inside there interceding with groans for in ways we are unable to speak ourselves.

Oswald Chambers reflects on this verse*. He says that when God searches our hearts, He isn't searching for our conscious prayers, rather to find out what the prayers of the Holy Spirit are. Why? The answer is that the Holy Spirit cares way more about us than we do. He also knows what we really need and what our true desires are. He knows our design.

And this is what gets me. This is where the individual personalities of the Trinity make sense to me, even though they don't make sense to me. The tenderness of God is that He dwells inside of me. He knows everything. He knows the pain, he knows the junk, and he knows the dreams. In addition, He is continuously having this conversation with Himself, from Spirit to Father. It is something that looks like this:

The Father says, "Can you tell me what is wrong? What are his needs? What is his pain?" The Holy Spirit says, "Father, these are his pains, these are his self-destructive and other-destructive behaviors, these are his dreams. What is there that we can do for him? He is my beloved and he's in so much pain."

The idea that God dwells inside us can often feel so vague. We aren't aware of these conversations. To get a picture of what is going on in conversation among the Trinity look at how Jesus cares so tenderly for the downtrodden in the Gospels and you'll see how He feels about you, yet He lives inside of your heart.

The Holy Spirit, deep inside our innermost parts, is not dead. He is alive. He is emotional about us. He is continually talking with our Father about our sins, our joys, our fears, our dreams, and our desires. He is not without solutions. I know them. Believe me, I'm still messed up in a lot of ways, but I have hope because I've seen some of the results of these conversations. They take time, but I know some of them. I've seen some of it happen in me and others. I know God is having these sorts of conversations all the time. We are His joy.

The grace of God is that He dwells inside of us the moment we let Him and He never leaves. All of the sin has been atoned for through the cross. From one messed up person to another, let me remind you that He's now in the business of caring for us and always has been**. He's wrapped Himself up inside of us. This is who He is. This is His glory.

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*My Utmost for His Highest Nov. 8 entry

**Romans 5:8

The Humble are Found Bold in the War between Life and Death

The other day, I left a voicemail with a friend of mine to share about how isolated I felt and how I was coping with it in unhealthy ways. He returned the call with a message to my voicemail to remind me that God's desire was to be with me in those moments more than me getting my act together. In his voice email he treated me with dignity and respect.

This morning I sent the same friend an email. He replied to my email saying that he felt like he couldn't breathe, he felt so overwhelmed with work and life during the day. I was able to send him back a message reminding him that God had turned him into a new person, that he was doing better than he thought he was, and that God and his wife love him.

In Hebrews 3:13 it says, "Encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness."

In both situations, my friend and I were tempted to believe the lies that try to creep in our minds pretty much every day. These lies threaten to tear us apart, no matter how much we might wish we could manage them. Look at the next part of the verse.

Hebrews 3:13 "We have come to share in Christ if we hold firmly till the end the confidence we had at first."

The author is implying that these lies threaten to tear the very fabric of our hearts and minds apart. Destruction.

Let me tell you something. When our very sanity is what's on the line, there is no time to worry about our present state of "togetherness". There is not time to worry about whether or not we are good enough to give another person the encouragement that they need to get through the day. This is warfare and the enemy wants to take down whom he can take down. He knows he's losing. He's lashing out, trying to do what he can out of sheer bitterness and vengeance.

My friend and I have a destiny paved in perseverance, but we're talking about the here-and-now. Are we gonna live right now? We've got to. We've gotta tell each other the truths that we can't remember on our own. It doesn't matter what our state of mind. We have to move forward in acts of encouragement and bonding. We don't do it, hoping for something in return from the other. We do it because they need our words of encouragement to survive.

The humble are found bold in declaring the truth to fellow brothers and sisters. It isn't about waiting until our state of being seems to be better than normal before we encourage one another. It is about survival. To this end, our encouragement is what begins to heal us in the first place (1 Pet 4:11). It's about telling the next person the truth about who they really are and being vulnerable enough to let them in on our own lives for the sake of our own survival as well. Both encouraging and being encouraged require humble hearts.