In a Funk

I've written a couple of blogs recently. If you read them, you might be misled to believe that I'm 'close' with God or 'tight' with God right now. You might think I feel at peace or content with my life. The answer is 'no'. I'm not. I've been in a funk for a couple of months now. Feel very disconnected.

I still write.

There was a time a couple years ago when I started writing this blog that I decided I would write no matter how I felt or feel. Why? God's view on me never changes. I write out of His authority, not out of how I feel. Connected or disconnected.

I remember watching a video-taped recording of Rich Mullins singing one of his last concerts before his death in 1997. He looked like crap. Looked disconnected. Definitely didn't look happy or at peace. Looked like he was simply singing without any heart or soul. Maybe he was in conflict. Maybe he felt like no one loved him. Maybe someone close to him hadn't given him the time he wanted. I don't know. But, he sang anyway. He worked out of his God-given authority.

In this life, we will go through periods of depression, disconnection, sin, and pain. We don't stop parenting, working, relating to our spouses, or creating works of art because we feel like we're in a funk. That goes against the gospel. We contribute ourselves to those around us based on God's approval, not our own. This is the gospel.