Trip to Mexican Restaurant = Breaking the Bonds of Slavery

When your every breath comes from a machine called a ventilator, life is rather restricting. Couple that with arms and legs which have no movement, and life is downright constricting. Triple that with a three-year broken van which is supposed to transport you, wheelchair, and ventilator to socialize and make speaking engagements: well, life can feel like being in the bonds of slavery.

Then, start typing with a stick (in your mouth) on your computer and do the following: Write a book. Write lyrics and compose an album on CD. Create digital art. Write the beginnings of a screenplay. Manage several websites and a blog. Finally, do the research necessary to gather over twenty thousand followers on Twitter and compete with "New Kids on the Block" for the Ashton Kutcher Award. As a matter of fact, continually turn out for some of the highest and most influential ratings on Twitter with the likes of MC Hammer and Levar Burton, not because you are famous but because you do the research and send out Tweets with positive and thought provoking quotes that are used to inspire the masses.

Still, your van isn't working. So, after putting together enough money from vested individuals, you get your van fixed and put together a small team of transporters to take you to the different events that need attending. First, a trip to the MVD. Second, a trip to Via Delosantos. Yes, Via Delosantos. Via Delosantos is your favorite Mexican Restaurant with Pico de Gallo that is out of this world. Via Delosantos beats out speaking engagements or going to church.

When it's been three years, sometimes a trip to a Mexican Restaurant = Breaking the Bonds of Slavery.

My friend writes at:
http://www.restalongtheway.com
http://www.jasonmitchener.com

The Primary Solution

A friend reminded me the other day that the solution to most of our problems is being in a relationship of trust. I believe the most trusting relationship I have available is with the creator of the universe. He tells me who I really am. He tells me He is not ashamed of me.

Let's get a little personal here. Do I still sin? Yes. Does my behavior sometimes border something so destructive that I could ruin my life and the lives of others if I gave myself permission to do so? Yes. This is all true. You and I are always capable of ruining our lives at any moment,* and I speak from experience.

The most important relationship in my life, however, begins with the One who tells me He is not ashamed of me. He says, "Spend time with me. I know all the stuff. It doesn't frighten me. I also know what's been done to you and what you've done to yourself. I know that you feel embarrassed and exposed. You feel embarrassed because you think you should have been able to stop others from hurting you and those around you. You also feel like you should have been able to stop yourself from hurting your own self and and those around you. For years you even ignored Me, analyzed Me, sometimes told Me off, and even tried to philosophically draw a picture of Me which was a little foolish albeit understandable. But, here's something I want to tell you. I'm not embarrassed of you. I'm not ashamed of you. I don't feel insecure when I tell the angels that I associate Myself with you and that you are my favorite person to spend time with. In fact, I sing your praises (Heb 2:10-13)**. There is nothing that can separate you from my love because I have already decided that I love you."

So there we go. That is the kind of relationship that can solve our problems. Funny thing is, once we get into this kind of a relationship, we begin to realize that solving our problems was never really the core or foundation of what God was going for, even though our safe and loving relationship with Him begins to result in many of our problems being resolved. At the core, He wants to spend time with us in the midst of our trust that He loves us, fought for us, died for us, heals us, and says, "I like this person. I'm taking him or her for eternity." It was never based on our behavior.*** The moment I realize that He loves me in this way is the moment that eternal life really starts to kick in. I mean, it really starts to get good at this point. The relationship itself takes on a new life. Until that moment, life is hell. Like I say, I speak from experience.

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*Yet, even the total destruction of our lives is always redeemable. That is how good it is.

**Check out Hebrews 2:10-13. The picture that the author is painting is as if God (in the person of Jesus) is in the middle of a crowd with a whole bunch of us. It's like he stands me up a little higher than all the others in the crowd and says, "Guys, this is who I was talking about!" He starts telling stories about us. It's glorious. He's showing us off. No wait. He's showing Himself off too. It always points back to Him. He's the one who created us. Actually, I'm not exactly sure how this works, but holy smokes. This is good stuff. A little fun and mysterious, eh? Just don't neglect the fact that He says He shouts our praises. Maybe just need to leave it there. He says we are holy. The Holy One hangs out with the ones He's made holy.

***Even our trust itself is never performance-based. It is always grace-based since our trust level goes up and down so often.

Laughter and Being Known

One characteristic of a healthy group of people who work together or support one another in various situations is the degree to which laughter is present. This laughter is present in the midst of being known for our failures, our fears, our dreams, and our accomplishments. Laughter is no longer a mask, rather a symptom of being known, loved, and protected.

Double Wow.

The value of spiritually and psychologically healthy friends in my life when I'm freaking out on the inside = Wow. Their value in having me when they’re freaking out on the inside = Double Wow. We’re healthy because we bring our freak-out-times into the light, not because we ‘figured out’ how to keep our act together.

Our positive behavior is merely a symptom of living in the light with a few trusted others and a willingness to entertain new ways of thinking and living. These trusted others don’t think we’re weird or too tainted for approval. Their approval is based on who God declares us to be.

Our desire is never to minimize sin, but also to never treat one another as sinners. A person who understands Grace + Truth understands they = a Saint. Beginning with the transformation of their identity, the transformation of behavior can take place at its own pace. It can never happen the other way around.* The transformation starts from our core, the truth of our inner being.

Our value then, is placed on our identity, not our behavior. We are like currency that never looses its value, even during times of recession or depression. The percentage rate of our ‘Identity-based’ investment is astronomical. Our trusted others must remind us of this when we’re freaking out. They tell us we’re healthy because we’ve made an investment in trusting God and a few trusted others with who we really are. They tell us the truth, that God lives inside of us.

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*(i.e. better behavior first, never equals saint second)

The Glory of God - sdrawkcaB

I'm aware of various people who are in the business of trying to "glorify God". They never seem to be satisfied, from my observations. I know others who believe God loves them but aren't preoccupied with trying to "glorify Him". Yet, I have to say that in observing this second group of people, I find myself thinking, "Isn't this glorious? Isn't God glorious?"

The Resources of God (a lot of them at least)

All the resources at my church (i.e. people) are like God's arms holding me. Not a single one has tried to solve my problems, but in resourcing themselves to me, they are part of the solution to my problems, in-and-of-themselves, and I to them. With God inside us, a bunch of individually weak people protecting one another turns into divine strength.

Heaven (Part Three)

Nora Jones. Sunrise is the song. Her voice draws me in. Intoxicating.

I was listening to her today and felt deep sadness. It wasn’t the sort of sadness I wanted to evade. The feeling resembled missing a dear friend or loved one who’s moved away. Difficult and beautiful at the same time. Along these lines.

As I pondered the intoxication of her voice, I realized it wasn’t her or her voice that was drawing me in, especially since it was moving me so emotionally. I realized I was being drawn into the seductiveness of God. The One who created that rich voice is the One who created her. I can almost say I felt like I was listening to the voice of God Himself, and yet the One who created her has a voice that far outweighs hers.

These feelings of sadness or missing a departed friend are synonymous to joy when I think of why and who I’m missing. I’m missing God. His voice is seductive.

Beautiful landscapes. Brilliant sunsets. Leaves changing color. The voice of Nora Jones. When I die, I get to hear the intoxicating voice of the One who created Nora Jones.

This is heaven.

Polyurethane and Psychologically Unhealthy Environments

The other week, I learned how to polyurethane a wooden floor. Took a paint roller with a long handle and rolled the viscous, translucent stuff all over a cafeteria. About half way through, a friend of mine asked me if I wanted a break. He’d take over. I consented and walked outside to get some fresh air.

The thing about polyurethane is that fumes are powerful. I didn’t know that. During the time I was rolling the stuff onto the floor, I was slowly acclimating to the potent fumes and didn’t know that they posed a threat to me if inhaled for too long. Sort of like sniffing paint or glue. Over time, it kills brain cells.

Getting back to the story, after about five minutes of fresh air, I decided to go back into the cafeteria to see how the rest of the polyurethane application was coming along. Walking into the door, I was hit by a wave of fumes that knocked me over. I couldn’t go in. I had to back up. The fumes were way too intense. How was I in there so long? Basically, I had acclimated to the environment just like the story goes that a frog acclimates to slowly boiling in water over time. In the end, it can kill.

Psychologically unhealthy environments present a similar situation. In workplaces, families, churches, clubs, organizations, and other institutions, we can spend months, years, or even decades living in these sub-cultures because we acclimated to these unhealthy environments over time.

The problem with operating within psychologically unhealthy environments is that we often don't know we're in them in the first place, nor the gravity of the situation. Do you think you might be in a psychologically unhealthy environment, but you aren't sure how serious it is or what to do about it? I highly recommend the books Safe People and Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend as resources to help you determine if there is a situation that needs addressing in one way or another.

Polyurethane. It overtook me in less than 60 minutes of work. I didn't know there was a problem. It took a friend of mine asking me if I wanted to take a break and step outside. Psychologically unhealthy environments are very similar. They can overtake us without our knowledge. I hope my book recommendations might help you in "taking a step outside" to see if there might be a problem or not.

2011 addendum: By the way, the best way to know if one of these books are for you is if you have a general sense of angst, loneliness, resentments, or anxiety that have lasted for long periods of time. That probably means that you have been residing in a psychologically unhealthy envronment for a long time without knowing it. You'll need to find some safe people who can help you set up some boundaries in order to dwell in a more psychologically healthy environment. These books can at least help you begin this process.

Forgiveness

I’m cautious in writing on the subject of forgiveness. In fact, I’m not going to write much for now. Somewhat unfamiliar territory for me.

However, I ran into a quote which reads, “Forgiveness protects us from the insidious harm that comes from sin done against us.*”

Read the quote again. No seriously. Read it again. Look at the key word. The key word is protects us. Forgiving others protects us.

I used to think that if I didn’t forgive others like God forgave me, then He’d be looking down on me and saying, “Bad human.” This couldn't be further from the truth. He’s already stripped all sin from me and made me perfectly perfect (2 Cor 5:17). All He does is talk about me and the rest of His children with the angels. How could He call me “bad human” when He’s transformed me into a good human? This is illogical.

So, there must be another reason** to forgive others. I think this quote hit it right on the head. God wants to protect us. It’s like He’s working all the angles to get our attention. “Steven, when you forgive so-in-so, you will experience a release from resentment and bitterness that I so long for you! You will experience feelings of peace and tranquility more and more over time. It won't be perfect peace for you, because you'll fall back into the old thought patterns of resentment and bitterness from time to time, but overall it's gonna be awesome!” Wow!

God desires to protect you and I from harm. Forgiving others is part of that process. It’s like a shield or buffer that protects us from resentment and bitterness among other things. It is God’s heart for us.

This is about all I know for now.

Matthew 23:37
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*Leadership Catalyst
** Maybe not the only reason, but a darn good one to start with, at least.

On Being Included

I was an average athelete in grade school. Kickball. Flag Football. Field Hockey. Softball. Basketball. I rarely got picked last for anything, but every once in a while it was close. I might be next-to-last.

Then there were those times when a special type of older classmate would come along. Let's say I'm in the fourth grade and a sixth grader is one of the team captains for basketball. He might say on the second or third pick, "I'll take Steven. He's good. He'll guard so-in-so." He was one of these older kids that somehow knew how to affirm me as a younger guy without even knowing it. Made me feel good about myself. I wanted to say, "Are you sure? Are you talking about me?" Those comments never came out of my mouth because I felt too good about getting picked in a higher order and even better about my team captain having some good words to say about the matter.

Jesus is like one of these older kids on the field that somehow knew how to make the younger guys feel included. Back in the day, Jesus walked up to some pretty uneducated, unrespected men like Peter, John, and Matthew. He said, "I'll take you. You're just right for my team. You'll play this position. You'll do great. You're just the sort of teammate I'm looking for." They might've looked over their shoulders at first to see if He was talking to someone else. Is He talking to me? They might have thought to themselves.

We all want to be included. Jesus is the Great Includer. He's got a jersey for you. It's for His team.

Ephesians 1:13